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New member
Username: Helpinghand

Post Number: 1
Registered: 04-2013
Posted on Saturday, June 01, 2013 - 06:26 pm:   Edit Post

I'm new here, first post.   I've read  the rules but please advise if I err. 
My female friend & sometimes lover whom I care about very much of 15 years wants to explore her sexuality.  She has been very vanilla and self conscious of her body image and insecure about her lovemaking "skills",  although she is perceived by all as attractive and is ridiculously fit.  
She is extremely easy to please sexually, and is very responsive.  She literally  gushes with joy which I find extraordinarily errotic.  She has been spanked (and liked it) by former lovers, and wants to explore more. 
 I took her over my knee last time we were together as a trial 'punishment', she received her 10 strikes well and was made to count them.  By #10 she was wet and really seemed to enjoy being tied to the bed with the 'comfort' the blindfold gave her.  Her nipples are a huge source of erotic pleasure for her and she said she liked the sensation the nipple clamps gave her but she said it was hard for her because she thought she looked ridiculous.  I told her with admiration and honesty that she looked  absolutely beautiful bound and blindfolded with devices pinching her nipples that I knew gave her pleasure.
It truly warmed my heart to know she trusted me and submitted herself to being spanked and bound.   I was so appreciative that after 'rewarding' her with several bed soaking orgasms I spent an hour rubbing cooling cucumber lotion onto her bottom, legs and breasts.  We both enjoyed this 'aftercare' part very much.

I want to do this right but have very limited experience with the art of spanking.  I like the idea of helping/training/conditioning my lover~friend through loving discipline.

Here is the problem: She is a very poor communicator.  We text mostly due to busy life schedules & get together every other week or so.  She does not answer direct questions at times and does not even acknowlege texts that should be responded to in some manner.  Its very frustrating to put it mildly.  She self admitts that she doesn't like to 'think'...
  My goal is to 'help' her communicate better.  I think spanking is a perfect way to do this.  
She has been told that recently ignored texts earned her 30 spanks. She acknowledged she was 'wrong' and accepted her sentence (?) .  We have an evening date planned for this Sunday.  Irritatingly she ignored yet another recent text and was told another 10 spanks would be administered.  She apologized and knows she will get these spanks as well.  
I have a good imagination and have converted several pieces of furniture into concealed positioning devices with restraints.  I like the idea of bondage.
Anyway, my question finally is this:
Would the following be an appropriate punishment and retribution plan?
I was thinking of meeting her at the door when she arrives and telling her she did a bad thing by not answering my texts and making me wait for 2 days AFTER I reminded her I wanted an answer and will be spanked 40 times while she counted each hand strike.  I will tell her her that because she did not communicate she will wear a reminder during the course of her punishment as an unpleasant  symbol of her silence. She will wear a (vented) ball gag.  
She finds/needs the comfort of a blindfold to overcome her visual self consciousness, so I will apply the blindfold at the door. 
After I harness the gag, and yes I know it will be hard for her to count strikes with the gag ~ which is the reinforcing point... She will be told to pull down her panties.
I will then lead her to the corner as the restricting feeling of her panties around her ankles will be a reminder that her butt is bare and of what will be coming.  She will be told to put her hands on her head to illustrate she needs to use her head and THINK about what she has done. 
After awhile of corner contemplation (how long?) I would tell her that her punishment is about to begin.  I would  reach between her legs and finger her but deny her orgasm. 
Then I would lead her to the couch and OTK spank her.  With each strike her muffled report of numbered strikes would remind her to 'speak clearly' ie. communicate.
After the spanking I would slip my fingers between her legs and bring her close to O again.  When she is about to cum I will abruptly stop.

She will then be told she has a choice...
She can leave, or she can remove the gag and orally please me to earn her denied orgasms. 
She is so afraid of not 'doing a good job' of 'performing' sexual acts that I'm trying to come up (pardon the pun) with ways for her to try different things.  I know she will make me feel great & I will gently encourage her timid ness away. I think the  'incentive' of practicing and learning how to please sexually before she gets to cum might help. 

1. Does this sound like a reasonable scenario?
2. How long should she be made to stand in the corner?
3. Is the ball gag too much? Personally I like the idea very very, much.
4. Is 'aftercare' unusual?
Thanks,  HH
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Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie

Post Number: 2100
Registered: 04-2005

Posted on Sunday, June 02, 2013 - 02:54 am:   Edit Post

Sorry, HH, but this is something you need to ask her, not us. No one here knows you or her well enough to enter into your relationship and give you the type of feedback you're looking for. Only the two of you can figure this one out.

I suggest you print this out and ask her if this is what she wants. You have to ask that because it has to be consensual. What one person thinks is too much isn't enough for another. You have to talk to her about what works for her. That's the only way to make it work; you both have to be on board with how your relationship progresses. Even if she isn't ready to tell you exactly what she wants (or maybe doesn't know yet) taking it slow and finding your way together can be quite enjoyable. It's what all of us have to do. There's no perfect formula for this.

The truth is, some people would encourage you while others would discourage you about following through with this scenario. You can't ask us what is reasonable; your friend is the only one who can answer that question. So go ask her, please.

Good luck!

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