Post Number: 1
|Posted on Wednesday, March 09, 2011 - 06:14 pm: ||
So I'm Dee. I am 25 years old and I have stoped counting so that number won't change until Denny's gives me a discount! I have been with the husband for 10 years (married for 5) and things just keep getting better!
I have always known I liked things a little rougher then most and I always got a thrill when my Hubby would give me a good slap from behind but my eyes are open now to what I really like. So I had the "Talk" with the husband and he isn't as ready to jump into the fire as I am. Although he seems open to the idea!
As it stands I have no clue where we go from here he has spanked me a few times and I keep trying positive comments but aside from making him a step by step picture book I have no idea how to proceed. Although I am just as clueless about whats safe, what to try, and how far we want to take this "Lifestyle" <-I think that would be the right word?
SO if your the type that likes to give advice please feel free to give me lots. And forgive me now for my ignorance and needing things explained!
Post Number: 4
|Posted on Wednesday, March 09, 2011 - 07:38 pm: ||
Hi Dee! I am somewhat in your shoes too. I have always been more "into it" than my husband. In the beginning I found some stories that seemed to mirror the kind of thing I was looking for and I copied them for my husband. That kind of helped him understand what I liked. I also have two journals. One is a submissive journal and the other a submissive wife journal. It may sound redundant, but it really is two seperate things for me. The submissive journal is more of my "play" submissive self, and the wife one is for things I really want to improve about myself in our marriage. In both of them I can write about things I like, things I don't like, and things I would like to try. Any time I write in them, I give it to him to read afterwards. For me, its easier to write things than to say them out loud.
I hope I didn't go on too long!
Post Number: 1734
|Posted on Wednesday, March 09, 2011 - 08:24 pm: ||
It's always good to see a member delurk! I can tell you of my own experience, which may or may not be of help to you. I was introduced to the lifestyle by an ex girlfriend. While I have always had latent spanko tendencies in me, I was raised where men did not hit a woman for any reason. One night, my girlfriend was teasingly bratting me. I playfully told her she was on her way to earning a spanking, to which she replied something to the effect of you dont have the guts I dare you. Not being one to often resist a dare in my younger days, I grabbed her by her wrist and gently pulled her across my knee, bared her bottom and began to gently spank her. I had expected her to resist, when she didnt, I became that much more intigued by it. I spanked until she was a very mild pink and let her up. She confessed that she had wanted me to spank her for quite some time, she just didnt know how I would react to the request. Subsequent spankings were all pretty mild until she finally said that they were not hard or long enough. I had serious reservations about injuring her, and we finally agreed that I would spank her until she utilized the safe word we had in place. Reluctantly I did so, and to my amazement after her bottom was a nice deep red, she utilized the safewrod, but told me she could have taken more, but that was the level which she wanted to be spanked to. That night our lovemaking was probably the most intense it had been, and after seeing her satisfaction with the results it became easier to spank her to that level. After a period of time we began to intoduce implements and spank for disciplinary purposes as well, and today I am totally at ease in my spanko skin. It was not a process that happened overnight, and good communication and feedback was paramount, so I didnt get discouraged.
As far as what is safe, or how far you want to explore the lifestyle is up to you and your husband. You don't need to take huge leaps, small steps usually work better as you explore new areas or explore your tolerance. When trying something new, make sure you have a safeword so you can terminate the action if it becomes too intense for you. When trying out a new implement, start with less intense smacks and go for repetitions instead. It will give him practice on how to weild them safely, and you a chance to see if that particular implement is to your liking. You can always increase the intensity one you become comfortable with it. Even to this day, I'm a believer that the cumlative effect wins out over harder blows every time. There is a less risk of injury.
Sorry for the novel and hope my comments/suggestions are of use to you and again welcome to the forum!
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
Post Number: 69
|Posted on Thursday, March 10, 2011 - 02:56 pm: ||
Hi Dee and welcom to the Den. I must agree with Zippo, communication is absolutely paramount. And may I also add that it might feel a little "different" to talk about this kind of activity but treat it like anything else in your marriage. That might make talking about it easier fior you and give your husband plenty of time and space to get used to your desires. My wife and I try to normalize it as much as possible. She now accepts my desire for her to spank me, she still doesn't understand it (neither do I!) but she is quite happy to indulge me and I make a special effort to show my appreciation for what is still an awkward thing for her to do.. Hope this helps and enjoy yourself.