Post Number: 915
|Posted on Wednesday, June 07, 2006 - 04:49 pm: ||
Since these topics have come up quite a bit lately, I wanted to address them, especially since it seems to have taken a thread off topic.
In the thread "To Strap Or Not To Strap" I said the following after mentioning Leather Thorn Paddles in my post:
"Note: I know there's not a banner up for Leather Thorn Paddles in the top spot, but this is one of those exceptions to the rule I make. I put up a link to John's site because he's been a generous friend to us, even though I don't have a ad up for his site. Please don't make direct links to other commercial sites if they're not a sponsor though. Thanks!"
Victoria_Wood then posted this comment about those rules:
"It's a bummer that we can't mention our favorite vendors -- so many restrictions on this site --"
"Victoria, I said "Please don't make direct links to other commercial sites if they're not a sponsor though." That means you can mention them, just don't make a direct link to them, ok?
The reason for this? We pay for this site ourselves and offer it's use to you for free so I think it's reasonable to ask for a few considerations. Although I don't think that adds up to the many restrictions you mentioned. One of the considerations I ask for is that you don't give free advertisements to commercial sites that Dan or I don't already have arrangements with. Most of those sites have ad space on this site in the top banner spot. The few sponsors we have help but don't pay for the bandwidth or any of the other costs of running this site, so I ask that you help me out by respecting them and us by not giving away for free what they are paying for. I don't think that's too much to ask for so please work with me on this one."
The following post is Victoria's response to that statement.
(Message edited by bethie on June 07, 2006)
Post Number: 178
|Posted on Wednesday, June 07, 2006 - 07:00 am: ||
Thanks for the clarification. I never implied I wasn't going to abide by your rules. It is your site, but I was also referring to other restirctions, like mentioning your own childhood experiences. I guess I understand the justification and all, with DOJ and all. This is an adult-only site. I'm just not used to not being able to speak freely, as I do on other sites.
Post Number: 916
|Posted on Wednesday, June 07, 2006 - 05:42 pm: ||
Victoria, I didn't think you weren't going to abide by the rules, I just wanted you to know why they are here. It's in the Site Information Area, too.
As for the rule against discussions that involve children, it isn't about the DOJ as much as it is my decision to keep all my sites about spanking in a safe, sane, and consensual context.
Children are not in a position to consent to a spanking and are therefore involved in non-consensual spankings. Also, this is an adult forum where we discuss adult spanking and sexuality. The discussion of children does not belong with those types of discussions. I won't have it on any of my sites.
You're right, it is my site. That gives me the right to run it the way I feel most comfortable with. If you feel like you cannot speak freely here, then maybe you should stick to the other sites where you can discuss all the things you want to, including those restricted topics such as minors. All of the sites I've come across have restrictions of one kind or another, this just happens to be ours.
I'm sorry but recently my mods and I have had to delete some posts that dealt with the discussion of children that absolutely had no place on this site. There were a couple that were just wrong and one that dealt with incest. I won't have that on any of my sites!
I'm not judging any of you, I just have to run this site the way I need to so I'll be comfortable with the content. This hasn't been easy and we've recently run into some bumps in the road, but at the end of the day, I have to listen to my conscience and do what I feel is right.
I'm trying to provide a service that is of quality and can be relied on for reliable information and truthful discussions among peers that can help other spankos. Maybe my standards are too high for some people's tastes, but that's just the way I have to keep them in order to be satisfied. It's my site, I pay for it, I give it to all of you for free, all I ask is that you respect my rules. I don't do this for any other reason than I want to. All I ask is that all the members work with me and abide by the rules.
Post Number: 1081
|Posted on Thursday, June 08, 2006 - 07:20 am: ||
Well said Bethie.
Even before you made me a mod, I respected the fact that no children were to be discussed here. Or age play. Nothing related to under age.
I want it to be known that I do not judge people on their preferences. Whether it is spanking, age play, bondage...whatever. I joined this forum because of the adult content. The freedom to discuss adult issues. The freedom to discuss spankings that were consentual and between adults. There are plenty of other sites a person can go to and talk about children and stuff like that. Personally...and I mean PERSONALLY...I find it uncomfortable. I PERSONALLY feel it is wrong. It is way too easy to take advantage of a child and to do it on an adult site is just plain wrong.
And everything I say in this post is MY OWN OPINION. I just want to make that clear.
I also think this site is a good one for information. There are many out there that have only just embraced the spanking lifestyle. They have questions. They have worries and until they find others like themselves to discuss it with...they are alone. By keeping this forum adult based, we give them somewhere to go for answers. Let's keep it that way.
It's not like gays that don't have to hide in the closet anymore. We can't openly walk down the street with a "Spank Pride" t-shirt or banner. We have to be careful...discreet. We have to take safety in consideration. Self preservation. Sites like this one gives us someplace to go to voice concerns and get advice. Share our tears, fears and have a laugh or two.
If not being able to discuss minors seems too confining to you, then as Bethie says, this is not the place for you. Otherwise, participate in the adult conversations.
This is a good place for realistic advice from people that actually DO have a real spanking relationship. Who are married or living with their chosen partner and enjoy the lifestyle.
Bethie isn't trying to use undue censorship. She is trying to PROTECT children.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Post Number: 205
|Posted on Thursday, June 08, 2006 - 09:52 am: ||
I do agree ...I came to this site becouse it WAS NOT filled with child content ..
A child has NO choice ...no consent and since this site is FILLED with sexual inuendu (I know spelling sucks) I feel that there IS NO PLACE for any childhood memories or even postings ..
Other sites ban any child photos .. any incest, and other kinks .with out protest
Bethie should not be condemed for keeping ALL our KIDS SAFE ..
I am sure those who want to find the "KID" sites can easily ..as the news paper is FILLED with those who are arrested for viewing and adding posts to those sites .
I for one enjoy the adult atosmasphere and content when I come here ...I do not need to read how a child is abused for the joy of the adult. How the dear lil one is forced to accept the abuse forced upon them as a form of correcting..
Spanking was something I, as an adult, decided I wanted ..needed ..craved .. and its nice to read I am NOT A FREAK.
I have no problems reading about the ADULT spankings ...but when a child is involved ..it bothers me feircly .
After all LEAGALLY a child is ONLY to be hit OPEN PALMED ..ONCE ..and on the rear ..two hits is abuse ..and any tools like a belt ..a brush, a spoon ..cane ..whatever ..is STRICTLY AGAINST THE LAW ..here in Canada.
That has been a topic in the papers for some time. many court cases about it.
I do not need to share the fear I felt as a child ..as an adult the spankings REALLY do carry a different tone ..and feel ...you feel LOVED, cared for , protected , respected. and can STOP it if needed or fight back should you have too.(not that I ever felt I needed too)
Where is this option for a child?
Nope a child memory ..does not belong on this site . Here we ASK for the love and attention and UNDERSTAND it ....
kids only understand they were hit
He asked what I needed , timidly gave it at first, now he just knows.
Post Number: 54
|Posted on Friday, June 09, 2006 - 07:21 am: ||
With respect for Bethie, and partially at her suggestion, I started a thread on Spankz that asked what got people interested in spanking. So far, the posts mostly indicate cartoons and comic strips.
Again, this remains a great place to explore the adult activities, and the moderator(s) have my greatest admiration and support. I also work with the public, and know what a pain in the butt (NO pun intended) they can be.
Post Number: 921
|Posted on Friday, June 09, 2006 - 07:40 am: ||
I appreciate the respect, but I didn't suggest you do that. When you asked if I would start a new site for that type of discussion, I told you you'd have to do it yourself because I wanted no part of it.
I said, "I'm sorry but I don't have any interest in the type of site you are asking about. You can start any site you want but I can't have any part of it or allow my site to be a part of it either. That means you can't mention it on the site or use the PM system to tell other Den members about it. While I understand your point of view (referring to how your interest started), it's something I want no part of. In my opinion, adult sites should never allow the discussion of children."
What you said hints that I approve of that sort of thing on other sites but just not mine. That's not what I said. Please don't imply I said something that I never would.
Post Number: 57
|Posted on Saturday, June 10, 2006 - 08:54 am: ||
Sorry, Bethie, excuse the poor syntax.
Post Number: 934
|Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 06:20 pm: ||
Blue, thank you for that apology! This cyber communication thing is flat and sometimes things can be misconstrued. I just didn't want people to think I was being a hypocrite or wonder if my opinion was really different from the way I've presented it here.