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Spanking Den * Spanking Discussion Area * May - July 2006 * I need your advice < Previous Next >

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Tina
New member
Username: Tina

Post Number: 8
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 06:57 pm:   Edit Post

After years in denial I have decided that I am in need of discipline. Unfortunately, I am also in need of a person to give it to me, who I prefer to also be my lover. If I could get one. That said, I am thinking of modifying my current personal ad that I have running (on a very mainstream site) to include a section that will "call out" to a potential spanker, indicating my interest, but without having to come right out and say it, as I am trying to avoid ridicule because several people I work with are also on the same site and I would not want them to come across it. This way I figure if my ad is subtle enough it will reach the right people while leaving the vanilla types blissfully unaware of what I am doing.

Hence I want to include this little tidbit in my profile in the hopes it will attract a suitor who is willing to give me what I need. Please tell me if you think this is an effective way to signal what my desires are or if it is too blunt or not blunt enough. Please give truthful constructive criticism. Thanks.

I am looking for a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it. I am a strong-willed and very opinionated person and I am looking for someone equally or even more so in order to complement my traits. I need a take-charge sort of individual, a person who is secure in himself and impassioned in his beliefs. While I consider myself a liberal politically, you’d be surprised at how conservative I can seem in other ways.
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Tplayer
Spanko
Username: Tplayer

Post Number: 52
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 07:47 pm:   Edit Post

Tina, maybe you could put something to the effect that you might be a disciplinary challenge
It's all a matter of perspective
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina

Post Number: 9
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 08:09 pm:   Edit Post

Woah, that's really good. I may just do that!
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Ladygator2904
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904

Post Number: 169
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Sunday, June 11, 2006 - 08:57 pm:   Edit Post

hm.. no comment
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Subbie
Spanko
Username: Subbie

Post Number: 65
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 07:40 am:   Edit Post

Tina, since you know that others you work with are in same site, and worried they may out you, I would make a new addy and nick....seeking a authoritive type male...best of luck and as always becareful too..
my name says it all
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Victoria_wood
Advanced Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 229
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 08:51 am:   Edit Post

I would definitely disguise my identity in the ad if people you know might see it.

Also, I would advertize for someone into consensual spanking or bdsm instead of authoritative male. If you ask for the latter, you might end up with a controlling, authoritarian, not someone into consensual spanking. Even if you want to take the DD route, you still need someone who respects you and believes in consent. Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Victoria
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Ceeci
New member
Username: Ceeci

Post Number: 1
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 03:19 pm:   Edit Post

I'm a new member, so I hope I'm not doing something out of line here, I've yet to introduce myself in the meet and greet.

Anyway, I agree with Subbie, but would take her advice one step further. I've used internet dating sites before and if you do post a new nickname and profile, you'll likely end up back in your same geographic/demographic. If you're using an image in your profile leave it in the first one, don't post it to the new one. It will of course limit the number of lookers you have, lets face it, men are visual critters. Your tag line could have just enough info. however to draw in the person you're hoping to find. T-Player's suggestion of Disciplinary Challenge might be a good place to start.

Hope this helps, good luck and be careful!
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina

Post Number: 10
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Monday, June 12, 2006 - 11:27 pm:   Edit Post

I'm on several dating sites. I took the one that allows me to post anonymously and decided to do an experiment. This one uses a system of keywords. I put in the keyword "submissive" and suddenly my responses have skyrocketed.
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina

Post Number: 12
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Sunday, June 18, 2006 - 10:14 pm:   Edit Post

OK a guy I met on the internet wants to meet. I am very nervous and embarassed. I'm afraid when I meet him he is going to laugh at me because of all the stuff I said in the emails. I really hope I haven't made a mistake by putting myself out there. He was very graphic about what he likes. Some stuff I told him was too extreme. I'm nervous about our first session together.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie

Post Number: 994
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Sunday, June 18, 2006 - 10:34 pm:   Edit Post

Tina, has anyone discussed safety when meeting with you yet? We've discussed this issue a few times and if you haven't had a chance, please read them through, ok?

Here are some links to discussions that have safety tips in them:

http://www.spankingden.com/discus/messages/8/6648.html?1137197989

http://www.spankingden.com/discus/messages/8/6608.html?1137174582

http://www.spankingden.com/discus/messages/8/10016.html?1148493740

Good luck and stay safe!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie

Post Number: 996
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Sunday, June 18, 2006 - 10:45 pm:   Edit Post

I'm moving this to the Spanking Discussions Area.


Moved!

(Message edited by bethie on June 18, 2006)
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina

Post Number: 13
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Sunday, June 18, 2006 - 10:51 pm:   Edit Post

Very good points raised in those threads, thank you. We will definitely meet in a public place and I may do a safe call.
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Nicenick06
New member
Username: Nicenick06

Post Number: 46
Registered: 02-2006
Posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 - 07:18 pm:   Edit Post

Well I may get into trouble here but I tried to hint at things in Match,com and other similar sites and that 1) either turned people off or 2) got hit by the moderators/editors.

It wasn’t successful. Neither was Alt.com and similar sites as there are vastly more men chasing a limited supply of ladies (and I am hetero)…

What makes this blog delicious is the abundance of females. Unfortunately most of them are taken (but not you I note)….

Disciplinary challenge (or something very close) got refused by match.com.

Disguising the ad may be useful but most ads require a photo if there is to be any chance of success so that may be out.

Now the last post may be true. There is a difference between meeting someone in flesh and the artificial and sometimes fantasy world of cyber emails. Phone calls are a half way house (I find). But there is at some point the necessity of meeting. You just have to do it and bear in mind Bethie’s excellent advice.

You just have to pluck up courage.

I hope I have put this in the right place oh moderators....
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Tina
New member
Username: Tina

Post Number: 14
Registered: 06-2006
Posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 - 08:02 pm:   Edit Post

Wow I can't believe you got blocked by using "disciplinary challenge."
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Poofette
Spanko
Username: Poofette

Post Number: 90
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2006 - 02:55 am:   Edit Post

Nic,

"Neither was Alt.com and similar sites as there are vastly more men chasing a limited supply of ladies (and I am hetero)… "

Alt is bad!!! They charge men for everything and not us ladies and yes there is an over abundance of men on there. Most especially men who can't read a ladies prerequisites! I've pretty much given up using those online meeting places. It is frustrating isn't it?

Poofette
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Nicenick06
Spanko
Username: Nicenick06

Post Number: 58
Registered: 02-2006
Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2006 - 07:57 am:   Edit Post

Poofette
Can't change my name on the profile.
It is Nick....

Even so it is pathetic.
Take California
128,186 Men seeking women
17,464 Women seeking men
and the majority of those women want payment….

I have had more fun from Spanking Den
even though I am not a regular contributor.
(Thank you Bethie).

But I am also reconciled not to meeting
anyone with similar tastes…

Spanking den makes up for it…
Well sort of...

Take Care
Nick

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