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Spanking Den * Spanking Discussion Area * May - July 2006 * Small victories> is it bad? < Previous Next >

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Little_miss
New member
Username: Little_miss

Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2006


Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 10:44 am:   Edit Post

I love feeling like i got away with something! I do little things that Adam won't notice (ex. lightly hit him back when he spanks me but so light that he doesn't notice) It's all stupid, irrelivant things but i feel like i somehow won. I know that's bratty but i can't help it. Should i consider that an issue if we're in a DD relationship?
"Lately it just seems to me like we have the letters ADD branded into our mentality"
~Reliant K
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Mistydawn
New member
Username: Mistydawn

Post Number: 28
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 02:04 pm:   Edit Post

Hi,little miss.
The question is why do you want to feel youv'e won. Does it make you feel you've still got some control.
What do you get from having got away with things
I've 'won' all my life, had the last word and felt empty. I'm just startng to realize it aint all that great.
Mistydawn
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Ladygator2904
Junior Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904

Post Number: 104
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 02:16 pm:   Edit Post

Maybe you just like to tease...lol, I can not help teasing G over the weekends when I am home and bored. yeup.. it usually ends in a spanking but oh well, was well worth it... and I am Old as Sin :-) don`t ever quit playing, sweetie,, it keeps ya young.
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1711
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Saturday, May 20, 2006 - 09:11 pm:   Edit Post

I couldnt agree with you more Ladygator!
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie

Post Number: 848
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 12:31 am:   Edit Post

It's one thing to be playful with your partner as long as he knows and participates in the fun. But if you're doing this behind his back and he doesn't know about it, that's different. Especially since you feel like you've "won" or gotten something over on him.

Part of being in a DD relationship (like many other spanking relationships) means you respect each other in your roles in this. He respects you in your role as the submissive and you should respect him as the dominant. It's good to play and have fun, but if you're doing it so he won't notice, that seems like you're fighting your submissive role. If you're new to this, it may take awhile to get comfortable in this type of relationship. Think about what you want out of this and if DD is what you really want, then go with it. You can still be bratty, just don't hide it from him.

In case you're wondering, we have just a little DD in our relationship and that suits us both just fine. We're more along the lines of he's the Head of Household (HOH) in which we both love our spankings and that's enough unless I go over a certain line, then we're into DD. I've been in a serious strictly DD relationship before but that was a few *ahem* years ago.
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Little_miss
New member
Username: Little_miss

Post Number: 8
Registered: 05-2006


Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 10:01 am:   Edit Post

Mistydawn, to answer your questions, I feel like i've won because i feel like i have a bit of power. LoL As stupid as it is, although what i do is insignificant, i still did it without getting caught and i like that. I know that it's bratty though and i am bratty to his face too. I guess i shouldn't do it behind his back. i know it upsets him if he finds out and i guess it's disrespectful. hmm...this is gonna be a hard habit to kick.
"Lately it just seems to me like we have the letters ADD branded into our mentality"
~Reliant K
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Victoria_wood
Junior Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 130
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 11:54 am:   Edit Post

I'm not sure if it's "bad," but to me it seems silly and pointless. I don't get it.
Cheers,
Victoria
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Blistering_blonde
Junior Spanko
Username: Blistering_blonde

Post Number: 66
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 12:06 pm:   Edit Post

Actually you got to ask your self ...DID HE LET YOU GET AWAY ...or do you just think you did .TRUST me there are times when a lil smack back at him is fine ..and others ...where even the slightest touch back to him will have my punishment repeated ..twice as long and twice as hard..
BUT doing lil playful things ARE fun ...and if he is in a good mood ...WHY NOT?
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Victoria_wood
Junior Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 131
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 12:21 pm:   Edit Post

Yeah, but if he doesn't know, then how can it be fun?
Cheers,
Victoria
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 2380
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 12:29 pm:   Edit Post

With no disrespect, little miss is VERY young. I was into the lifestyle at her age, but there is a lot to be said for experience and maturity. Bratty is not cute and most tops grow weary of it pretty quickly. Little miss as long as you keep feeling that "you can't help" it you won't.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Ladygator2904
Junior Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904

Post Number: 109
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 03:16 pm:   Edit Post

Nice point Fanny :-)
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 436
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 06:00 pm:   Edit Post

If you think you are getting away with this but find a need to tell us about it than maybe in your heart you know you shouldn't be doing it. Being a brat is ok when playing aand it comes natural but being brat jsut becasue you get away with it becomes boring and dull. It also shows a great deal of disrespect for each other not jsut your top.

I am a natural red haed and I can tell you brat is my middle name but over the years I ahve learned that there is a time and place to be a brat and OTK is one place that my butt learn fast that being good is a great idea.

You may feel that you won the battle with these small victories but I think you will find in the ong run you have lose the war
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks

Post Number: 438
Registered: 12-2005


Posted on Sunday, May 21, 2006 - 06:34 pm:   Edit Post

For my 2 cents...gotta agree with Fanny and Red - but then again, I have 2 children older then miss, and years (god, that makes me sound ancient!) of experience. :-)
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Mistydawn
New member
Username: Mistydawn

Post Number: 40
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Monday, May 22, 2006 - 08:36 am:   Edit Post

Hi, little Miss if you read any of my post you know that I'm probably not the best person to give advice on doing things right and I'm certainly no model sub. I don't know why I do half the thing I do and this power malarky, boy I have so many issues with it I could write a book.

We all do certain things in certain ways to protect ourselves but the one thing I never ever screw up on is honesty. I've said (and done)some pretty awful things to my dom but the only way I could truly hurt him is to hide myself from him.
I believe the way you grow together is through sharing your thoughts, your dreams and especially the nightmares and demons.

Do what you like, be yourself but don't do it behind his back. It's pointless, tell him you are doing it and that you don't know why. You might get some answers right there at home.
--------------------------------------------
MistyDawn
--------------------------------------------
Learning to love and loving to learn
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Otter
Junior Spanko
Username: Otter

Post Number: 89
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Tuesday, May 23, 2006 - 08:39 am:   Edit Post

I used to do this, Little Miss. But then I started realizing that if I was getting away with it, then it was the same as lying to him.

The thing about DD (and that is what we mostly have, the playful spanking is very secondary), is that he only has authority because you give it to him. In this day and age, he has no legal authority to punish you nor any socially accepted authority. Your DD relationship is contingent upon your respect for his role as the HOH. If you disrespect it by getting little things over on him, what does that mean for your relationship?

We are all about the playful bratting and I do get away with that, in that if I do get spanked for it, it is fun and not punishment (no lecture and we are both laughing while he is telling me what how bad I'm going to get it). But, by definition, I think, for it to be bratting, he has to be aware. If he doesn't know, that just seems sneaky to me. I couldn't live with that.

I got to the point where feeling like I got away with something was the major indicator that I needed to tell him what I did, even if it was so insignificant that he wouldn't have punished me if he had found out on his own. Then the fact that I was trying to get away with something was the issue not what I did so I got punished big time for my attitude. If I am trying to get away with something, that is an indication that I need a reminder of the New World Order and that I am not feeling dominated or secure.

Like someone else said, the fact that you feel the need to come here and ask about it would indicate to me that you aren't feeling all that good about it yourself.

Also, I think it will be easier to kick once you start thinking about it as a big deal no matter how insignificant what you did is. Your attitude is always significant because that, along with his attitude, is what defines your DD relationship.
"Sometimes love don't feel like it should." -John Cougar

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