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Changeling
New member
Username: Changeling
Post Number: 40
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 04:20 pm: | 
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Some of you have met your partners through the internet. Aside from the obvious safety issues ( meeting in public, keeping true ID/addy private) have any of you had experience using net detective?
Because of my job I know PROFESSIONALLY how many sexual (etc) weirdos are out there and was thinking about joining web D to do background checks on people before I meet them.
Any help appreciated
Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance
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Tammynx
Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 381
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 04:40 pm: |
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Changeling..I just got lucky....I didn't do any checking at all. I did chat with my husband for MONTHS before I agreeded to meet him and then I made sure several people knew where I was going and left phone numbers and safe words to use with them on the phone. But basically I just got on a plane and flew 1200 miles to meet my now husband.
I know that it was SO VERY unsafe and could have turned out very differently.
If I had it to do over again....I would do a background check for sure.
Like I said I was lucky!! |
Shylah
Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 803
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 04:51 pm: |
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Same here as Tammy. I chatted with my hubby on the internet for 2 years before we met face to face. We chatted online and on the phone. I know it was risky to go from Oklahoma to England to meet him. I had no contacts there and had not arranged any before hand. I should have. But I had gotten to know him so well, in my heart, I knew I was going to be ok.
There were several people in the states tho, Tammy included, that I had to contact in a certain time frame before they would have gotten a "network" going to find me. They all had addresses and flight information...etc...that I could have been traced. I think I had even given Tammy my passport number.
A background check is a good, safe and sane way to go.
Tammy and I were lucky. We know several that were not.
Creating a network of contacts is not going to stop something from happening, but it will help to find you if it's needed.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Ladygator2904
Junior Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 84
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 07:04 pm: |
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I guess we sometimes have to trust in luck and in my case, God. I chatted with Gary 3 months, him a German living in Spain and me in America. We talked about anything and everything, Me 49 yrs of age and him 55. I requested that he be very honest to me and I would do the same. Unfortunately, a few deceptive ppl are on the net but I believe they are of the few. I had been to several internet parties and in my age group I found them similar to a Catholic retreat, very caring loving ppl all caring for one another. So, after 3 months of daily chatting Gary came to America. We embraced and met at the dollar rent a car in the airport. I drove my own car and he drove his rental to an upscale motel near my apt. My son age 16 and my previous bf who still lived with me, knew where I would be. Since the day I was in Garys arms we were inseperable. We moved in together 2 months later, me married 1 and 1/2 yrs later and now we have been married 3+ yrs and It is WONDERFUL. We just started the DD lifestyle 3 months ago. I guess if you first meet a person inclided to spanking, etc you might be a lot more cautious than I.... good luck to you! p.s I honestly said to God, if (former bf) wasnt the right one for me please show me who is. It was two weeks letter that I received my email from Gary, he found me on Yahoo personals. I had my ad in for only 5 days sayiing this is silly and really had my finger on the delete button when he wrote me but took it off and said.. well, why not, its just writing him  ))))
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Tammynx
Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 384
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 07:08 pm: |
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Yep Shylah I had your number and your back!!
WOW it has been a long time for us looking out for each other!! |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1635
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, May 02, 2006 - 10:25 pm: |
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 I thought I was the only one who did this...
Steve and I talked for months, but finally I took the leap and flew to England to meet him. I just knew that after hundreds of e-mails, thousands of IM's and millions of hours on the phone that he could be trusted. And I wanted to meet him desperately.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Shylah
Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 807
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 03, 2006 - 03:53 am: |
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You hear about the bad ones more than the good ones. That can be a good thing in itself tho so others will be cautious when meeting for the first time.
I am a contact for several people that meet. I've also been in a pub at a different table when someone meets just so I can watch. Body language can tell you more than a police check can. When the guy sits there and leers at her, almost drooling, I know that whatever happens will not be safe, sane or consentual. There has been several times I've gone to the girl and told her...NO...you are NOT going anywhere with that guy. Forget it now. Thankfully, they trust my judgment.
Trust your instincts. If it don't "feel" right...DON'T DO IT
I know a girl that was so desperate to get spanked, she went with the first guy she met. Without going into detail, she was under medical care for a very long time. She said afterwards..."I should have listened to myself. I knew it didn't feel right but I went anyway."
LISTEN to your instincts! Believe it or not, your instincts will save you. That's why they were given to us.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 781
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 03, 2006 - 02:19 pm: |
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Shylah's right, you need to trust your instincts. Don't let your desire to be spanked overrule your good sense!
Someone you meet online can say whatever they think you want to hear, be whoever you want them to be, and present you with the perfect spanker but in reality they're setting a trap so they can live out their own fantasies.
I was lucky that Dan was easy to check out and willing to give me the info I needed before I met him. I felt totally comfortable with him after months of emails, IM's, and phone conversations but I still needed some concrete details about him. Also, my family wasn't about to let me go halfway across the country to meet some stranger I met on the internet without some information they could sink their teeth into.
You should always have a safety net of some kind in place. Don't so swept off your feet that you forget reality. I know it's not completely romantic to think that way, but the alternative if things go badly is as far from romantic as you can get. |
Changeling
New member
Username: Changeling
Post Number: 41
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 03, 2006 - 06:18 pm: |
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Thanks for all the responses..I especially like the part about 'covering your back' That's what friends are for. Glad I found this site. A couple of nibbles on alt.com. Don't worry I am NOT going to meet them.
Still too frustrated that my first spanking will not be repeated, he is so Dom perhaps I must beg
more, too good to be true. Got my Black Rose membership card! They meet in DC on Tuesdays, now that my new dresses (april cornell) came from e-bay at least I have the proper attire to be seen in public. Always been sensitive about being zaftig, Yiddish for ample. WHY do men want twiggies and arm candy when well padded butts can be so much more pleasureable???
You guys are great
Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance
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Victoria_wood
Junior Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood
Post Number: 59
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 03, 2006 - 06:31 pm: |
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Changeling,
It's been my experience that many women (and men) in the scene are ample. When I went to the BR party at the Crucible there was hardly a thin woman in sight. So don't worry!! Just enjoy. It's a very body positive environment and I have become much more accepting of my body since getting into the scene.
Cheers,
Victoria
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Gentleguy
New member
Username: Gentleguy
Post Number: 6
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 04:31 pm: |
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Changeling,
Trust me, there are many men like myself that are more concerned with the beauty of a woman's heart and soul, than a some extra padding. If eyecandy is a man's goal, then he is looking for a showpiece, not a partner, and is certaintly not worth a good woman's time. |
Changeling
New member
Username: Changeling
Post Number: 42
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 05:23 pm: |
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Thanks Gentleguy,
I needed that. It's been a rotten few weeks (except for new g-daughter) and you made me feel better.
Changeling
Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance
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Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 456
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 04, 2006 - 09:04 pm: |
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Changeling all I can say is good luck. IT's hit or miss : perhaps a background check but then again time is also a factor. And Gentleguy is so spot on... good luck.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Subbie
New member
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 2
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 05:13 am: |
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I met a couple of guys on line, didn't work out, my gf knows I am a sub and she would go with me to meet the guy and made no bones about taking his plate number, I did meet my lord and master thru a dating service. glad to hear that so many of you met your Mr. right on line, but before meeting any stranger think safe first,
Bethie said it right, there are lots of guys who will tell you just what they think you want to hear :} |
Changeling
New member
Username: Changeling
Post Number: 43
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 01:11 pm: |
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again, thanks for the help.
I LIKE IT HERE!
I've gotten 3 nibbles (DON'T!!) from alt.com and am chatting with them on that site. NO INTENTIONS to meet up or give one of my many e-mail addy's.
So..tonight it's just me and a toy ( eenie meenie minie mo ) I haven't yet figured out a way to spank myself and there's no one here TO spank.
(hence..my name)
again
Thanks all
Changeling
Are any of you in the DC area???
Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance
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Victoria_wood
Junior Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood
Post Number: 69
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 01:30 pm: |
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I'm in DC but that won't help you any ... LOL I can hook you up with women's only group. Their parties are for women-on-women play though. Straight women are welcome, but since you are looking for a "bio-man," as they say, it won't help you in that dept.
Cheers,
Victoria
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Changeling
New member
Username: Changeling
Post Number: 44
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 02:25 pm: |
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Thanks Victoria!
I appreciate and respect You and yours in Bilitis
(many of my best friends etc etc cliches -she laughs)
however I am looking for a bio male.
Orientation does not preclude friendship.
I just joined BR...guess I'm hoping to see Mr 3 weeks ago and well.... get an invite to The Crucible for a look see.
Hell, I even bought two dresses!!
May I send you a personal e-mail?
Changeling
Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance
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Changeling
New member
Username: Changeling
Post Number: 45
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 02:27 pm: |
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ROTFL!!!!
That was your '69'th post.
Should we celebrate???
Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance
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Victoria_wood
Junior Spanko
Username: Victoria_wood
Post Number: 70
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 03:58 pm: |
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Changeling -- yes of course! Maybe I'll meet you at a BR function sometime.
And yes, we should celebrate -- always!!
Cheers,
Victoria
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Changeling
New member
Username: Changeling
Post Number: 47
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 - 04:45 pm: |
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well,
I've just joined and should perhaps start with a 'newbies' meeting.
This is all so odd but wonderfully exciting.
Thanks Victoria
Life may not be the party we hoped for
but while we are here we might as well dance
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