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Gypsygirl
New member
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 49
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 03:42 am: | 
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I put this question as part of a comment in another subject but no-one seems to have noticed it or had an answer for it.
"I notice though that a lot of sites are visited mainly by Bottoms/Subs (again, whatever) and I can't help but wonder if there are enough Tops to go round. Do we outnumber them or is it just that the majority of them have already been snagged?"
Is it that they do exist in equal numbers but just don't participate in these chats as much as we do? It can't be because they are shy, can it? |
Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley
Post Number: 353
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 06:56 am: |
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Gypsygirl - I have asked myself that same qusetion. I think they normally just lurk more than not. But that is just my opinion.
Now living vicariously through Wolfie and Darwins. At paddles in NY in the US where Wolfie would occassionally go, there were always plenty of Tops/Doms there looking for a spankee. And I think Darwins has said in the past that there are plenty of Tops/Doms in their parties in the UK. But then those are actual play parties. Maybe they just don't like to go to the various sites and chat.
Just my 2 cents.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 51
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 10:10 am: |
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Yes, I think I came to that conclusion myself. Maybe it is something in their makeup that they don't feel the need to 'chat' so much about what they do whereas because 'we' are the ones who it is being done to, like to share our experiences more and also receive reassurances from other subs/bottoms/brats that what we want/like/need is within the bounds of 'normal'. For a lot of us the anticipation is a bit part of the deal, so in a way, by telling others that we are due for a spanking tonight or tomorrow, we are fuelling our own anticipation. On the understanding that the Tops are the ones that 'are in charge' perhaps they don't need that reassurance. Also, some member's Tops do it out of love for their partners so I suppose it is normal that they aren't really into talking about it outside of their homes.
I've never been to a spanking party, I'm not sure I would feel comfortable there apart from the fact that I have my own partner and I know for sure that he wouldn't want to go. I've seen adverts for groups though and one in particular put me off. It sounded very sincere and advertised that there was nothing sexual involved only spanking but then they had adverts for costume purchase with a special offer on 'schoolgirls' - I didn't like that at all. It assumes that anyone who wants to be spanked also wants to be treated as a child. I'm not against role-play in itself but the Adult/child versions give me the yips. It's quite something different from your partner telling you 'You've been a bad girl and I'm going to punish you' when it's light-hearted play which in me brings on an attack of the giggles. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1555
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 12:52 pm: |
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I think men as a rule arent that chatty...so they read the posts and dont get up the nerve to join in. Ann's right, Ive seen plenty of men at parties and munch's and all of them were more than willing to spank if allowed. Their just not into chatting online.
If you go to parties you have to go with the flow. Some people love the schoolgirl thing for roleplay, wether its adult/child or teacher/schoolgirl. You dont have to do it just because they do, or even watch. To each his own. The first time I went to Paddles I was really nervous...and the first person I saw on entering was a man dressed in a maid's outfit! I almost freaked and ran for the door, but hung in there and had a great time that night. and that man who likes to cross-dress has become a good friend. He's straight, married with kids and is one of the nicest people you could ever hope to meet.
99% of the spankers at parties dont assume anything. They meet you, chat, ask if you'd like to be spanked and if you say yes...they want to know how you'd like it and what your rules are. They want a good reputation and to be allowed to play with you again, so doing something you wont like is not to their benefit.
Give it a try. It's not for everyone, but it can be a real blast and a way to satisfy those spanko cravings. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 55
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 06:29 pm: |
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You make a good point about men not being as chatty as us ladies, that must be a contributing factor together with the Top/Bottom issue. I've seen comments from men on here (and on other places), but the majority of comments come from Bottoms whatever their gender.
I must admit that the idea of a spanking party does excite me but I can't see me attending one I'm afraid, I know my partner wouldn't want to go, and I certainly wouldn't go to one behind his back. And why have I just looked up Munchs on the net? And found out that I know exactly where the venue is because I used to work nearby and have actually been in the same pub.
I don't really have a problem with people doing role-play, or cross-dressing or even orientation. I just didn't like the implication on the group that I found that everybody does it (I think all of their parties carried this theme), I think it's that I don't like to be stereotyped. I can see that it might be fun on occasion to do something like that (and where on earth does one buy knee length socks from these days?) |
Pussycat
New member
Username: Pussycat
Post Number: 2
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, April 23, 2006 - 07:55 am: |
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I envy women their ability to chatter light-heartedly: I can't do it. I have the greatest difficulty in keeping an ordinary conversation going: although, get me on a technical topic and I can't be stopped.
I try to contribute to this area, but find myself with nothing much to say ! I'm a male sub. |
Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 57
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, April 23, 2006 - 09:48 am: |
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Ah, but this is the beauty of chatting on-line. There are no awkward pauses in the conversation, if you can't think of anything to say, then don't, there isn't that social embarrassment of having having a conversation dry up. And if, at a later date, you do think of a response to something you have read, you can go back and re-open the theme.
In my meet-and-greet I said almost the same thing, that I didn't think that I would have much to contribute but I find that I keep sticking my nose in all over the place. Maybe my contribution is different or not very exciting, but I haven't been told to shut up yet by anybody, so I take that as encouraging.
And your comment 'I'm a male sub' - I take it that is just information on its own, not as an reason for not having much to say. You're a sub as are lots of people here so you probably have the same sort of experiences or questions that the others do as well. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1561
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, April 23, 2006 - 06:24 pm: |
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quote:And your comment 'I'm a male sub' - I take it that is just information on its own, not as an reason for not having much to say. You're a sub as are lots of people here so you probably have the same sort of experiences or questions that the others do as well
Thank you Gypsygirl, you beat me to it. A sub is a sub, male or female...we both feel the same things. Maybe I cant understand how tricky it is to keep the crown jewels out of the way during a paddling, but Ive been swatted by accident in a very sensitive area so I guess I can relate. Please pussycat, dont distance yourself from the rest of us just because your in the minority here at the moment. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Louiseoc
New member
Username: Louiseoc
Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 10:09 am: |
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My husband despises the Internet, he only ever uses it occasionally to look at catalogues of engineering supplies. He regards the amount of time I spend on the computer with a sort of tolerant contempt. He occasionally has a look at the Taken In Hand website to see what I've been saying about him on there, but never posts anything himself. He's just not interested in discussing this sort of thing. He can do it, but he doesn't want to talk about it to anyone.
I'm not much of a conversationalist in real life, and have never talked about this sort of thing to anyone other than my husband (and, in the distant past, a few boyfriends). On the Internet though I find I can talk about anything at all without the least embarrassment. it's great. |
Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here
Post Number: 111
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 04:59 pm: |
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Welcome to the best place on the net to discuss getting your bottom spanked. 
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
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Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 144
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 02:28 pm: |
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"On the Internet though I find I can talk about anything at all without the least embarrassment. it's great."
Well, this isn't the sort of subject that gets brought up in your everyday conversation with the neighbours and if you tried it, you'd have their curtains twitching like crazy. That's why it's nice to come here, nobody is going to be shocked, we aren't going to drop a clanger suddenly, no one is made to feel like a weirdo. It's a good valve for steam release. You know when something good happens to you, your first reaction is to share the news with your friends, this site allows us to do that with spanking. |
Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here
Post Number: 183
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 03:28 pm: |
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well said girl!
All depends on how you feel and if your right or left handed
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