spanking den

Spanking
Den

Topics Topics Help/Instructions Help Edit Profile Profile Member List Register  
Search Last 1 | 3 | 7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  
Spanking Den * Spanking Discussion Area * March - April 2006 * Strange paradox < Previous Next >

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 61
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 03:20 am:   Edit Post

Why is it that we, who like to have our bottoms beaten and those who like to beat us, are such nice friendly people? after all pain is not friendly really. It must be the love bit that helps
Its like work. the harder its done the better it is!!!!!!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 2168
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 07:57 am:   Edit Post

Sorry, my issue here, but I do not like to be "beaten". Can we use another word, please? I
I find that people who are into spanking are usually very passionate, sensitive indivisual who are in touch with their feelings, so it comes as no surprise to me.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Pinkcheeks
Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks

Post Number: 293
Registered: 12-2005


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 08:03 am:   Edit Post

Gotta agree with Fanny on this one... the connotation of the word "beaten" bring about negativity (I do not get beat, nor does my husband enjoy beating me - see how this can be misconstrued?) And you are so right, Fanny, when you say that ppl who are into spanking are passionate, sensitive individuals. My husband and I affectionate in public, have no problem using terms of endearment, and to see us, most ppl would have no clue to the lifestyle we lead.
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
New member
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 38
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 08:07 am:   Edit Post

I think it's because we have to be open about what we want that that characteristic shines through in other areas as well. There is no anger involved when it comes to getting your bottom smacked and whatever negative feelings are doing the rounds tend to get washed away with the spanking. Also, a lot has to do with the fact that it feels good to find so many other people who share our likes that it makes us happy to have confirmed that we aren't 'totally weird' and we want to share that feeling with others.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 63
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 08:29 am:   Edit Post

I did'nt use that word to upset anyone , but to provoke a reaction. I like spanking but paradoxically, I am totally against any sort of violence physical or verbal. I believe strongly that hurting someone emotionally is what hurts the most and for longer. Other than that i don't mind being totally weird as long as its good fun
Its like work. the harder its done the better it is!!!!!!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Victoria_wood
New member
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 09:20 am:   Edit Post

"Sorry, my issue here, but I do not like to be "beaten"."

Oh I do. I love it when my partner beats my ass. Why stick to the euphemisms?
Cheers,
Victoria
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 397
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 09:26 am:   Edit Post

Sorry but I agree with Fanny. My husband spanks me he doesn't beat me I am not an abused wife. But I think we are nice peopel becasue our needs are being met. There are many people out there who aren't nice because what they want out of life is not beening done. Just think about it if you were never to be spanked again or never had a spanking just think of how frustated you would be. Also because we have a different connection with our spouse or S/O were are better at communicating our feelings.
Just my 2 cents
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Victoria_wood
New member
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 10:53 am:   Edit Post

I'm sure that we probably can't generalize. There are many nice vanilla people and I'm sure many jerks in the spanking world.

To me the difference b/w abuse and what we do is consent. A spanking given without consent is abuse, even if you call it spanking instead of beating.

Just my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Victoria
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Otter
New member
Username: Otter

Post Number: 32
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 11:40 am:   Edit Post

I certainly enjoy it when my husband says, "I am so gonna beat your ass tonight". I like plain clear language and it also seems a little weird to me to use the term "spanking" when he never uses his hand and I never go over his knee. So we generally use the term "whipping" or "flogging" or "whooping" or something of that nature. The term beating definitely comes up. We both know that I am not abused. I mean, a man doesn't insist that a woman pack a strap and make sure she knows how to use it if he intends to abuse her. I like the more extreme words. For me, they add to the intensity. And they're still just words. I agree that abuse is defined by what you actually do, not by what you call it.

As far as being nicer because you're a spanko of some sort, I know I am nicer since we started spanking than I was before. I think it is because I am more satisfied with the relationship that is primary in my life and that spreads to everything else. The spanking provides a lot of stress relief for both of us. My husband doesn't let me bottle things up anymore and he is willing to beat it out of me if he thinks there is something wrong. I think I am less stressed in general because I know no matter what happens, I can count on him and tell him. I never felt that as much before he was HOH.
"It was something magic out of something frightening. That's how I live my life, I take it as it comes. In my mind I see the rocking horse inside the tree." -Sara Evans
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
New member
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 44
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 11:51 am:   Edit Post

I agree with the consent issue. For a lifestyle couple even if you don't want to do it in that instance because you know it's going to hurt, you will have given your consent to your partner doing it at some point but I think it important that consent is granted each and every time, even if it being indicated by a nod of the head in acceptance or a step forward.

I can also understand some peoples dislike of the word 'beaten', each of us have our own perculiarities, but I think that the connotation used makes a lot of difference. For me 'getting your ass beat' is very different from 'getting beaten'. The images they evoke are worlds apart.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1544
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 12:21 pm:   Edit Post

I agree with Red, having this need met and knowing we both are enjoying ourselves...and that it makes for an even better sex life...is what makes me a happier person altogether. Fulfillment is a wonderful thing!
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley

Post Number: 352
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 01:58 pm:   Edit Post

Beating has nothing to do with spanking.

I am going out of town for a few days. I leave in the morning.

Mr. B summed it up nicely last night - laying out the leather paddle for tonight. Mr. B saying "you need a spanking before you leave, because I love you." OOOOH I hope he gets out the leather flogger too.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 67
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 04:00 pm:   Edit Post

Well I'm very sorry about upsetting some of you, with my choice of words. it was not my intention at all and I am not very happy with that. I think I'll go away and leave you to whatever it is that you want to do do.
Its like work. the harder its done the better it is!!!!!!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1547
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 04:59 pm:   Edit Post

Me, dont get upset. This is what we do here...we discuss things. The folks here are outspoken and love to speak their "piece", but most of the time we try not to hurt each others feelings.

I dont think anyone's really angry or upset, their just expressing their opinion.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 401
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 05:55 pm:   Edit Post

Beachley,
Don't you just love those just because I love you spankings.
Wolfie I was going to PM you because I wsa concerned that you haven't posted in a few days.

Me
Please don't feel that you hurt any ones feelings here we all have our own sense of self here and tend to speak our mind however we are all very friendly and don't mean to upset you either.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ladygator2904
Junior Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904

Post Number: 66
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 06:00 pm:   Edit Post

I fled an abusive husband and I prefer to call it spanking with my new hubby. However, it doesnt offend me if you or others want to get beat :-)
A woman`s heart is filled with an ocean of secrets!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan

Post Number: 398
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 06:06 pm:   Edit Post

I don't think it matters what you call it. We all like it, for many different reasons.

I have words I don't care for either, so I get people's aversion.

But really...while Squire and I only indulge in erotic/playful spankings, I don't doubt that a vanilla viewer could see them as a beating.

When you are pinned down and paddled with a variety of implements, it's hard to see it as a love tap.

As long as it's consensual beating/spanking/thumping/paddling/walloping/attitude adjusting...Enjoy!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Blistering_blonde
New member
Username: Blistering_blonde

Post Number: 40
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 07:18 pm:   Edit Post

...Wonders in
ok when i was younger ...if one was going to get a spanking it was CALLED a BEATING ..what is a beating ...to be hit with an object ...to cause pain to another ....to be over powered and repeatively struck (hit...) define ..spanked
I LOVE my HUBBY when he BEATS the BRAT ..as he said ..if i can keep up the sass that runs from my lips ..his hands can beat to the rythm just as loud ..
am i abused ..NO ...why not ..i origanially told him to do it ..i agree to it ..AND i have a safe word which tells him ..OK i feel threatened ..STOP NOW ..consent withdrawn ...
it is understood that i will NEVER play the safe word for normal pain ..the spank is SUPPOSE to hurt...
But call it a beating if you want ..my rear sure feels beat up after with the throbbing ..the welts , the tender flesh, and if done long enough the bruises that sometimes appear (which i get more in play then punishment ..go figure)
you can call it spanked if you want ....BUT
when i use the word in the scence ..boy am i beat (as in tired ) i DO NOT MEAN hey you all i got a fat lip and cuts and bruises .
Some times words get picked apart ...EVEN though there are MULTIPLE meanings for the one WORD
why is it in a post of 39 words ..the ONLY responses were to one word...
Me_home_here ...Welcome to our lil group *smile*
We are an open minded group ....who LOVE to add our two cents *S* after all is that NOT why we come to the forums
NOW TO ANSWER THE ORIGIONAL POST
****Why is it that we, who like to have our bottoms beaten and those who like to beat us, are such nice friendly people? after all pain is not friendly really. It must be the love bit that helps****
... OH we are friendly due to the fact that we KNOW should we be rude and unkind ...it will show on our behinds ....

as for a spanker ....
NEVER be cruel to one whom ONE day could ..wind up over your knee *S* or over SOMEONE else's that you know ..so there revenge could be sweet and sound and to the point.

and yes the love bit RULES it ALL...after all i LOVE my beatings ..and my playful spanks .. i love my hubby ..and his HARD..........hands ..
and i LOVE the time he shows me one on one ..OVER AND OVER (..to please OR teach me ...
but most of all i just love him
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1549
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 07:54 pm:   Edit Post

Hiya Red! I have just returned from my trip south, and Ive been working feverishly to get my house here on the market. Sorry I havent been around much, but Im a tad stressed at the moment. What I'd give for a stress relief spanking right now!
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 403
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 07:14 am:   Edit Post

Ok as long as you are ok I know that you have a chronic disease similar to mine so soemtimes I just worry
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Victoria_wood
New member
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 07:55 am:   Edit Post

I think that the words we choose to describe what we do relate to the way we think about what we do. I tend to like rougher things. I like to be pulled around by the hair, for example. I enjoy a little face-slapping (not hard). I like a more aggressive command -- "get your ass over here NOW" -- as opposed to "come over here young lady." I like to be physically overpowered in a struggle. And I like to watch spanking videos that show an angry spanker. So that is probably why I like the word "beating." It's all good. :-)
Cheers,
Victoria
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1553
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 11:53 am:   Edit Post

Thanks Red, the fibro is acting up from the trip and the stress...but Im coping ok. I hope your doing well too.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 2172
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 04:29 pm:   Edit Post

sorry, I am the one who started the issue with words. I said it was just my issue, I did not intend to comment on anyones life choices. some of us like it rougher than others, that's just not me. I have been beaten and I have been spanked, in my case, they were two entirely different experiences. me.....don't take it personally.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ladygator2904
Junior Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904

Post Number: 71
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 04:49 pm:   Edit Post

No need to appologize Fanny, I think ppl are just posting to help "spread the word" so to speak. For example, Victoria just mentioned her top saying get your ass over hete.. YIPES, do to my verbally abusive x.. if anyone was to EVER say that to me, I would kung fu him <g> But , tis ok with me if`n Victoria likes it :-)
A woman`s heart is filled with an ocean of secrets!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 53
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 05:51 pm:   Edit Post

It would be impossible to be part of this world and not come across things now and again that either a) don't do it for you, or b) cause personal anxiety. I'm sure that Me didn't mean for his choice of words to upset anyone; it would be very hard to know in advance whether a comment you make would hit hard at the baggage that all of us are capable of having, especially when the underlying condition to all of this is consent. I think we all know that we are not abused, some of us will use stronger words than others, some are into heavier scenes, it is immaterial, the common denominating factor is that we all receive pleasure, be it at different levels, from the same base. Everybody has a right to their own demons and they should be respected. Maybe his baggage is thinking that he has upset people but again, it's impossible to know something like that in advance.

Ladygator, I admire your attitude.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 405
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 06:25 pm:   Edit Post

From a personal note of being a spanked wife for 25 almost 26 years come April 30th at different times in my life different words affected me in different ways. Am I an abused wife no does Bill beat me no but he has said you do that and I will beat your ass black and blue does he really mean it it depends but in all this time as long as I can say that he does this with consent and this is what I need and want it doesn't matter what thye call it. whne people ask how do we keep our love so alive after 25 year I answer we live a traditional marriage and let thme think what they will. I don't call if it's called taken the bus as long as you the people involed are happy do it and make sweet love afterwards.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 69
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Sunday, April 23, 2006 - 04:11 pm:   Edit Post

I would like to appologise to any of you that were shocked by my choice of words, It was not chosen to upset anyone. I looked in one of my dico's and to beat is to hit. I admitt that the word sounds violent. But spank is also to hit. It just sounds nicer and, well, it feels good too.
Its like work. the harder its done the better it is!!!!!!!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Victoria_wood
New member
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 05:48 am:   Edit Post

I can understand wanting to make the distinction if you have been in an abusive relationship before. I am very lucky that I haven't been abused or violated in my life, but I know a very huge proportion of women have been.

Also, I don't think anyone is upset ...
Cheers,
Victoria
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 73
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 05:53 am:   Edit Post

I truely hope thats the case
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1567
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 07:58 am:   Edit Post

Trust me, the only one who was upset Me, was you. We're very open here in discussions, but we try not to take them personally. :-)
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Otter
New member
Username: Otter

Post Number: 37
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 08:21 am:   Edit Post

"Trust me, the only one who was upset Me, was you."

This is a *very* cool sentence! It makes me happy!

Seriously, Me, no one thinks any worse of you for using whatever word seems appropriate. It's just talking, just a discussion. Different people like different things, and everyone likes to talk about what they like, that's all.

Dealing with forum discussions is a lot like taking a spanking: once you've been doing it for awhile, you begin to develop a tolerance and your skin gets thicker and you can take more, LOL!
"It was something magic out of something frightening. That's how I live my life, I take it as it comes. In my mind I see the rocking horse inside the tree." -Sara Evans
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 76
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 08:29 am:   Edit Post

Thanks everybody, you have made me feel better now because I had a bad weekend over that. I like your metaphore Otter,, though evne if I'm more than happy to be spanked and I have thick skin to deal with it. I dont want to become insensible to other peoples feelings. Other than that, am i allowed to say I love all of you? If I could go to cadbury world I''d share my chocolates with you
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 407
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 09:16 am:   Edit Post

Me ,
Thanks so much I have a love realtionship with chocolates since the first time I had one. But alas I got low bllod sugar if I eat to amny so chocolate is only allowed occasionally and with permission. But I did eat soem at easter infact I ate all the feet of the bunnies so they wouldn't run away
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shylah
Spanko
Username: Shylah

Post Number: 769
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 09:26 am:   Edit Post

*PERK* Did someone say

CHOCOLATE??????




Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Otter
New member
Username: Otter

Post Number: 39
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 05:47 pm:   Edit Post

I am another with the blood sugar problems. I would get my butt beat (and there is no other word for what he does to me for that particular transgression, LOL) if I ate any. Trust me, the spanking that I get for eating chocolate (not to mention the lecture and the disappointment and, well, you get the picture) are not fun for anyone. Nor are the spankings that I get as a result of my attitude from the crashing from the chocolate any fun.

So, Me, would you please go to Godiva world instead and get me some of their HEAVENLY *sugar free* dark chocolates! Then I would love you right back!

Well, alright, I love you anyway...

o*
"It was something magic out of something frightening. That's how I live my life, I take it as it comes. In my mind I see the rocking horse inside the tree." -Sara Evans
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 129
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 05:59 pm:   Edit Post

I have never seen any sugar free chocolate but if I can find it , it would be with pleasure. Hugs n bisous
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 102
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 06:07 pm:   Edit Post

Oh sure, diabetic chocolate exists. I think it's great (although I've never tried it) because that way no one is denied their pleasure just because it's bad for them.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 132
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 06:11 pm:   Edit Post

no one should be denied any sort of pleasure that they desire. I'm pleased that you let me know it exists anyway.
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Fireman_chris
Junior Spanko
Username: Fireman_chris

Post Number: 74
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 06:56 pm:   Edit Post

A number of my wife's family (including her dad) are diabetic, so sugar-free goodies (including chocolate) are quite common at her parents' house (especially since we're usually there over Christmas). I've tried the chocolate a few times, and its not much different than regular. One thing I've noticed is that it tends to be firmer (more like dark chocolate) in consistency, but that could also just be the manufacturer.
As you slide down the banisters of life
may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Old Irish Proverb
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Sissy9
New member
Username: Sissy9

Post Number: 9
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 08:44 pm:   Edit Post

My Dom and I got into that topic a couple of years ago, to me it's all just spanking,but come to find out,he refered to it on a more serious nature,come to find out he goes back and forth with guilt,and he likes it as much as I do or more! I came up with the samething," it's just spanking" Are there anyother, Doms, Tops, Masters,who go through conflicting feeling inside? Just curious, I didn't know how to help him...? I don't understand the guilt,I guess?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Sissy9
New member
Username: Sissy9

Post Number: 10
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 08:48 pm:   Edit Post

My Dom and I got into that topic a couple of years ago, to me it's all just spanking,but come to find out,he refered to it on a more serious nature,come to find out he goes back and forth with guilt,and he likes it as much as I do or more! I came up with the samething," it's just spanking" Are there anyother, Doms, Tops, Masters,who go through conflicting feeling inside? Just curious, I didn't know how to help him...? I don't understand the guilt,I guess?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Fireman_chris
Junior Spanko
Username: Fireman_chris

Post Number: 76
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 09:40 pm:   Edit Post

I've never felt any guilt, but then again, I've never spanked anyone I didn't know for sure enjoyed it.
As you slide down the banisters of life
may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Old Irish Proverb
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 106
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 01:55 am:   Edit Post

I find it a bit hard to understand a spanker feeling guilt about what they do, if their partner has asked them to do it, where's the problem. If it's play and they are worried that they have gone too far, then that is why safe words exist. If it's discipline, then the consent issue is fundamental and they need to look at their guilt level besides what their partner gets out of it, whether it be atonement, stress relief, contrition. If I were a Top I would be more inclined to feel guilt if I didn't do what my partner wanted or needed me to do. There is always of course that underlying in-built belief that we shouldn't harm our loved ones in any way but gradually, after seeing the positive results that occur, that should really take second place.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 138
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 03:43 am:   Edit Post

Gypsygirl, If I get into trouble, would you be my lawyer, you explain things so really well.
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 115
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 04:54 am:   Edit Post

It depends on what you have done. I can explain things well for the petitioner as well, not only the defence!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 149
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:03 am:   Edit Post

well I'm not really a trouble maker, or even a bad lad but you never know and I would prefer you on my side please!
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 119
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:14 am:   Edit Post

Seeing as you asked nicely, OK. We have to stick together, us Bottoms, don't we? I wonder if we could start our own political party? Well, the Raving Monster Loony party was allowed, so why not?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 154
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:24 am:   Edit Post

good idea that, abrand spanking new party where the members (I dont like using that word here, some of the ladies take it out of its context) use their brains to think and canes and paddles to uphold the law. We can call it , "The isle of man party
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 124
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:35 am:   Edit Post

You've got me there. Why the Isle of Man?

What about : Special Party Advocating Naughty Kinks. The initials would look great on the banners.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 158
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:39 am:   Edit Post

Lovely name , it evokes real lively party meetings. Isle of Mann was a pro corporal punishment place where the birch was used to correct offenders. Though i much prefer consensual punishment myself
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 127
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:44 am:   Edit Post

Oh right. Didn't know that. Well, I'll make sure I never go there then, I'll probably get caught for jay-walking or something.

Consensual punishment fine, anything beyond that, bit iffy.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 161
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:48 am:   Edit Post

In the party , I'd like to be the under secretary
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl

Post Number: 131
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 05:57 am:   Edit Post

Who's going to be the junior whip then?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 165
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 06:00 am:   Edit Post

I dont mind but as long as I'm under the secretary I dont risk anything!
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Victoria_wood
New member
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 19
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 07:12 am:   Edit Post

I think that some spankers feel guilty or uncomfortable because they enjoy inflicting pain on someone and watching her suffer.

Also, men are taught not to hit women and some men have a hard time wrapping their heads around spanking their partners, b/c they think of themselves as non-violent, non-chauvinistic, etc.

My partner had a hard time with it at first -- well only for a moment. She is not a violent person. When she and her ex were splitting, her ex told the therapist that she was afraid of her, and that really hurt M, b/c she is not like that. There was a lot of domestic violence in her family and she always rejected that. So then here I come, asking her to beat my ass. Luckily when I said "It's not violence if it's consensual," it was a light bulb moment for her. She's not a spankophile, but has gotten into it for me.

But I can see that if a man or anyone has a strong desire to spank that it might be the source of guilt. In fact, it might be harder to be comfortable with wanting to spank than with wanting to be spanked.

We actually just had a thread on this on world spanking forum, which is my usual hang-out. A guy posted "why do I want to hurt you?"
Cheers,
Victoria
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 176
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 07:17 am:   Edit Post

If you and your girlfrien have found your secret haven , then just bide there and enjoy it.
All depends on how you feel and if your right or left handed
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Victoria_wood
New member
Username: Victoria_wood

Post Number: 21
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 07:42 am:   Edit Post

We have ... thanks Me.
Cheers,
Victoria
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 179
Registered: 04-2006


Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 07:44 am:   Edit Post

Good for you!
All depends on how you feel and if your right or left handed

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | User List | Help/Instructions | Program Credits Administration