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Spanking Den * Spanking Discussion Area * March - April 2006 * Different styles of tops < Previous Next >

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Laszlo
Junior Spanko
Username: Laszlo

Post Number: 88
Registered: 01-2006
Posted on Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 01:40 am:   Edit Post

I supposse this thread is directed at fellow tops or bottoms who may be interested. There are many different methods of topping. Myself i tend to blend discipline with warmth and support. I have met many subs who need discipline and intimacy. I feel that as a top i have a responsibility to convey caring and support to my bottoms. I do not hesitate to spank, but i also make it known that i spank not in anger but in warmth and caring.
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Pinkcheeks
Junior Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks

Post Number: 146
Registered: 12-2005


Posted on Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 04:35 am:   Edit Post

Well said Laszlo ~~~
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan

Post Number: 493
Registered: 09-2005


Posted on Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 04:54 am:   Edit Post

I do it for the pure pleasure of it. There are folks that enjoy the pleasure of sensual pain, and those are the men I enjoy spanking. (And just to clarify, since I don't want tons of unsolicited e-mails from the above comment , "sensual" does not always include "sex." No, that does not mean I meet total strangers, spank them and have sex with them. This comment is NOT an offer! Thank you!)

I still have some difficulty in understanding those that say they "hate" to be spanked (and that there's absolutely no pleasure in it), but yet they do it all the time. If you really hated it, you'd avoid the behaviors that get you spanked, right?

Sensual pleasure, sensual fun, lots of spanking, punishment none.

K
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Ziggy
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ziggy

Post Number: 2661
Registered: 08-2005
Posted on Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 07:39 am:   Edit Post

oh so true K, very well put. don't do the crime if you can't do the time, right LOL
I don't mind authority, I just can't stand to be told what to do LOL

when caught run faster than him,
I am a TA junkie !!
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan

Post Number: 342
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 08:21 am:   Edit Post

For us, spanking us all about pleasure. Not punishment. As it was with my former partner.

While they both topped me, it really didn't change the tone or dynamic of our relationship that much.

When I topped my former partner, it was for the same reason. To bring him pleasure.

I doubt I'm in the majority though.
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Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 288
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Thursday, March 02, 2006 - 03:50 pm:   Edit Post

Bill's favorite saying don't write a check that your butt can't cash. For us we do have punishment spanking as well as pleasure spankings but each of them are done with exterme love and caring very emontial. Bill says he may not like to spank for punishement but will do it if needed. We always have lots of hugging and kissing after spankings sometimes it may have to wait until corner time is over but we always have love.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Beachley
Spanko
Username: Beachley

Post Number: 311
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 07:10 pm:   Edit Post

Red. LOL Mr. B uses that same saying. Although he says my mouth is writing checks that my butt can't cash.

Which is true it usually is my mouth and/or attitude that gets me into trouble.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
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Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 304
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 - 05:36 am:   Edit Post

Beachley,

It's the same for me my temper gets my mouth going and the next thing I know my butt is sore. Belivie me if I coukd take the checks to the bank that my mouth write I woukd be richer but thousands.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Bratattitude
New member
Username: Bratattitude

Post Number: 9
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 - 03:42 pm:   Edit Post

Red... I love your thinking. Sounds like we'd be on the Forbes list for sure :-) My mouth often writes checks my butt has to pay for...its like a HUGE NSF fee isn't it? HA HA

I am mostly just spanked as punishment. It has been agggggggges since I had a playful spanking so recently I think I really caught DH off guard. I handed him the paddle!! During SEX. I sorta wished I had seen the face :-) Apparently he enjoyed himself - lord knows I sure did!
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Bottombandit
New member
Username: Bottombandit

Post Number: 42
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 - 06:06 pm:   Edit Post

We are with Pagan, its all about and about pleasure and just plain ol' fun. The top / bottom thing starts and ends in the bedroom....or hot tub, or...LOL
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Princess_jules
New member
Username: Princess_jules

Post Number: 2
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 08:39 pm:   Edit Post

Hi Newbie here.. This is precisely the topic I was looking for. In life, and in my relationship I am most definately a Top (from what I understand of the word) Get me in the bedroom; I love to hand over the reins (and the riding crop) The whole being "punished" for not doing domestic chores leaves me cold. How does this fit in?
A day without Wine, is like a day without Sunshine...
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1386
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 09:58 pm:   Edit Post

Goodness Pagan, you have a twin!
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 28
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 10:57 am:   Edit Post

Princess Jules,
Well being spanked for not doing domestic chores, may leave you cold, for me it works. It is not so much that the chore wasn't done, as it is for the lack of motivation for not doing much of anything.
As we do have erotic spanking fun in the bedroom, we also have spankings that are not so much fun.
Now if he asks me to lets say clean up the family room, and I don't do it, but spent the entire day cleaning out the garage, He is not going to spank me because I got something accomplished.
It's not so much the chore in itself, but the lack of motivation to want to much of anything.
I asked him to help me in my lack of motivation, and he agrees, I just need something to get me want to do it it. Spanking works.
Not everyone is going to understand, this type of need, and that is ok. There are just some people that need that extra push, even if it is a spanking.

Carly
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Ziggy
New member
Username: Ziggy

Post Number: 6
Registered: 03-2006
Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 11:14 am:   Edit Post

I had a wonderful top who also didn't spank in anger, and was gentle. but handed out discipline when needed. oh he was good for that. oh well he is gone now. to bad.
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1390
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 11:52 am:   Edit Post

Very good explanation Carly, thanks.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 2030
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 12:11 pm:   Edit Post

Yes, Carly a very good explanation. I see your point and understand it. Self discipline is harder in some areas than others, and whatever works.....does. Especially when you are requesting help. The big plus is that we don't really mind the help, it is not exactly against our will.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1392
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 12:23 pm:   Edit Post

I guess that's it Fanny. For folks like myself that arent very self disciplined, having the help that a Top/Dom provides is exactly what we want. Whether for motivational purposes, to stop procrastination or to provide structure in our lives...knowing that there are consequences for our actions (or lack thereof) can make all the difference. This wont make sense to those who are already very motivated or self disciplined, but it works for us.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 30
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 02:25 pm:   Edit Post

I know it sure works for me!! I know that is works for my husband to. Life has been alot more productive for both of us since we started this. Nomore fights about how many soap operas I am going to watch before I got off my azz to do anything. Now I try ( hence the word try) everything to get things done. I have the luxury of being a stay at home mom, yet all the kids are now in school, abusing that privlage is not very healthy for our realtionship, and since self discipline is something I lack, my loving husband helps me along the way, and we are truely happier for it.

Carly
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 2033
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 02:27 pm:   Edit Post

That is all that matters, Carly, what works for you. I find it helps prevent lot of disagreements and petty arguements.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 32
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 02:53 pm:   Edit Post

I agree 100% Franny! Earlier years if felt like petty arguements and disagreements, were the foundation of our relationship! How sad is that! Well it's all good now!! Thanks Fanny for taking the time to understand!!!

Carly
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 2038
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 04:03 pm:   Edit Post

No problem, Carly. I am hear to listen, share and learn.
It is nice to have someone who can relate and understand though, isn't it?
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 35
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 04:12 pm:   Edit Post

Oh yes! Since this is the only place I go to talk about DD, because none of my friends would understand, nor do I have any desire to tell them. I love my friends, but it would be an on going joke, and that is not something I care to deal with for the rest of my years to come.

Carly!!
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Princess_jules
New member
Username: Princess_jules

Post Number: 5
Registered: 03-2006


Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 08:10 pm:   Edit Post

Hi Carly, Thank you for the explanation. I truly hope you do not think I was judging your lifestyle choices. It is merely something I do not understand. That does not make it bad in my books. Heck I don't get half of the art and poetry out there, but lots of people do.. Different strokes my friend..(no pun intended)

I would love to be able to have a frank discussion about it if it is possible without hurt feelings. The last thing I want to do is offend/hurt someone because of differing opinions combined with lack of understanding. As I am new here I am not sure quite yet what the standards are,unfortunately my personality dictates I jump right in and join rather than lurking for awhile and getting the lay of the land.

I look forward to many great conversations!
A day without Wine, is like a day without Sunshine...
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 1396
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 08:33 pm:   Edit Post

Discussing our favorite subject is what we love best jules, so jump right in and have fun. We're all different but we try to be open minded, so hopefully no hurt feelings will occur.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 36
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 09:00 pm:   Edit Post

Oh Jules,No you did not offend me at all!! I was just trying to explain how it is for me and maybe a few others. I am sorry if you took it that there were hurt feelings or offense. Like I said not everyone understands it, but then again, I don't think everyone is suppose to. Spanking, DD and any other lifestyles or life choices down to, why some eat at burger king while others eat Mcdonalds, I don't think life was meant for all of us to understand each other. If we did, then this would be a pretty boring world. So no worries, discuss, discuss, discuss, The only way we can be opened minded, is when we expand beyond our own thinking.


Carly
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Sassyaawaa
New member
Username: Sassyaawaa

Post Number: 9
Registered: 03-2006
Posted on Monday, March 20, 2006 - 10:00 pm:   Edit Post

I am of the disciplinary world of OTK and of the stress release world too. I am spanked for smoking more than the limit I set for myself, for motivation, for not completing tasks I set for myself, when I get stressed-out by letting too many things get to me, when I don't take care of myself and yet take care of everyone else, and sometimes for just being AAWAA (An Angel With An Attitude) I recently found out the a good old fashion spanking works far better than a sleeping pill I am always spanked with love, friendship, concern, warmth and affection. I am a very lucky AWAA. I have friends who are spanked for pleasure, for fun, and for disciplinary reasons and although we may not understand fully what each of us gets from a spanking, we all respect each other's reasons and I think that having different reasons for being spanked or getting spanked is what helps make the world go round. Have a good one everyone!
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Me_home_here
New member
Username: Me_home_here

Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2006
Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 05:20 am:   Edit Post

I like to be spanked and I cant say I hide the fact, I get some hard spanks and a very sore bottom sometimes, I have always had tops who do the "punishment" in a loving caring manner, which means that even if I have some very nasty cane marks on my bottom, It is soothed by the affection of my top, I'm not sure that its clear what I'm trying to say , but for me love and punishment are compatible and neccessary for me

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