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Spanking Den * Spanking Discussion Area * February 2006 * New to The Lifestyle (DD)- Suggestions? < Previous Next >

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Slc
New member
Username: Slc

Post Number: 5
Registered: 09-2005
Posted on Thursday, February 23, 2006 - 04:04 pm:   Edit Post

Hello, everyone. My husband and I just agreed to start a DD lifestyle. We have been married dor almost 11 years and it has been ok, but have always been a major brat. I have never had discipline of any kind, even as a kid. I am a true spolied brat. But, the past few months of lurking here and other sites, I have been toying a bit with he idea. We have experimented a little and tonight my husband and I openly discussed it. He has always thought I needed it, but was afraid to do anything about it. I did have someone years ago tell me what I needed was a good spanking., but I blew him off. Oh well, if I had had discipline my life would have taken a different track, but that is a story in itself. My husband has spanked me a couple of times lately, but just a little. Any advice for a newbie?
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Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades

Post Number: 445
Registered: 11-2005


Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 12:25 am:   Edit Post

Just try to be the biggest brat possible to really push his buttons or you could just be more direct and get over his knee and tell him what you've done and what a bad girl you've been. That always works, LOL.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Pinkcheeks
Junior Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks

Post Number: 130
Registered: 12-2005


Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 07:04 am:   Edit Post

I don't know if being the biggest brat would be the best thing to do (sorry Katie!) - especially if you are interested in true DD. There are wonderful websites out there that would help. I think its important to be open, honest, and have lots of discussions about EXACTLY what the two of you expect and want out of this lifestyle. I don't like to "push buttons" because you do not want someone to spank you in anger. Every couple is different when it comes to spankings (either erotic, good-girl, or bad-girl). You have to be able to trust your partner totally ~ will you have certain rules to follow? will he be able to spank you at will? will implements be involved? will you have a "safe word"? It sounds as if your husband may be a bit pensive right now - take things slowly - research - ask questions on sites like this one - we are here to help ~~ Best of luck to you ~~
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Slc
New member
Username: Slc

Post Number: 6
Registered: 09-2005
Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 06:10 pm:   Edit Post

Thanks, bith of you. I also don't think being very bratty is a good idea. While, he is a little pensive, we have discussed it alot and set some ground rules. He is really kind of sorry that we didn't start this sooner! Our lives may have been very different. He seem's to be taking to it. My butt found that out today, when I did a no-no. again thanks, an advice is great!!!!
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Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 270
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 07:09 pm:   Edit Post

One of the best pices of advice I can give you is to talk about what you expect and what you think you can handle, if you want more than just spanking, do you think you can handle anything else besides his hand, for example a belt do you want rituals in spanking who takes your paanties down and the real big one will you have sex after a discpline spanking. What do you want to change and how do you think spanking will change that. Rules or guidelines are a great beginig but realize that as your realtionship matures htese rules will chang as well.
Bill's favorite line is don'twrite a check that your butt can't cash. Wiht that in mind don't be a brat because bratty can work against you especially if it stops your S/O from spanking. I never did that for one reason it seemed that i got into enough trouble without it. I have always felt that if I got spanked for something that was forbidden that I deserved what ever he dealt out. Bill can spank very hard and in the beginig was so strict. Please know Bill was the one who wanted this lifestyle and I have been living it consensual for 25 years since the day we were married. One thing that has never chaged is the fact that thru all we always knew we loved each other and after each and every spanking I do feel totally loved and cherished. If that doesn't happen to you than you both need to sit down (if you can) and talk.

So in summary rules are a good place to start. Soem website claim that an introduction spanking is needed to set the tone-perhaps that might work for you.
TALK and TALK ANd TALK soem more so you both know what the deal is.

Good luck on the jourany that will change your life forever
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Ftopinmichigan
Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan

Post Number: 479
Registered: 09-2005


Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 05:27 am:   Edit Post

Slc, you might try a search on Yahoo groups for the DD lifestyle. I know there's a local group here that is for Christian DD folks, and they meet in real life to share ideas and forge friendships with others. Some discussion groups, if specific on the subject that you're interest in, will find some very helpful, hands on (no pun intended), practical couples that live the lifestyle and can offer specific advice.

There sure are a few wise women here too that can help ya.

K
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Slc
New member
Username: Slc

Post Number: 8
Registered: 09-2005
Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 08:50 am:   Edit Post

Thanks alot. I do feel more loved by husband now. There are times when I am so selfish and aught up in my own bad mood or just want a fight to get e reponse. The arguments are horrible (were). I knew I was being awful, but couldn't clear the air afterwards. Now, If I have been wrong< I get spanked and the guilt is gone. It seems to rpair things. I haven't had a chance to discuss any rituals, he already has an idea on how things should go!! I really do think he has thought about this for longer than I have!!

I like the idea of a group. I will look into it.
Thanks for all the advice everybody!

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