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Kendra
Spanko
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 370
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 08:58 am: | 
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Obviously you have to start somewhere. But where? I have gotten so many posts on my blog (and e-mails) that say "Punishment spankings are a fantasy, and don't work" or "You have to resolve the issue first, and use the spankings to drive the point home" How do you "resolve" the issues without spanking? I'm not saying it's not possible, but every attempt I have made hasn't worked, and my husband doesn't like spanking me anyway (Although he did the other day, long story, might tell ya about it someday). so how do I "motivate" myself to fix these issues?
Any input would be awesome..
Thanx guys,
Kryssi
May the Spirit of the Elves guide you.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1736
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 09:29 am: |
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Kendra, if we lived in a world where everyone took responsibility for their own actions, we would all be a lot happier. Keep in mind that we only have to answer to ourself (and a higher power if that is your belief). Remember we all have the choice to conduct ourselves in a proper manner. We cannot control others actions, only our reactions. Don't look for someone else to motivate you, look into your own heart and soul, you will find the answer.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Redhinney
Junior Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 84
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 01:16 pm: |
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Kendra,
I think you have look at what the issues are. I feel thatissues between you and your husband can only be solved by you and your husband not anyone else. Issues with yourself are the same can only be solved by you.
I get punsihment spanking they help me with the guilt I feel for letting my husband down etc. W has been with me since the age of 16 I sorry to say this but there are times he kniws me better than I do. I beleive that this is why puishment spankings work for us.
Ithink that one of the forst steps to work out issues is to know wehat the issues are and what you would like to see resolved what type of outcome. Don't just say to be happier. I don't know a person who doesn't want to be happier. Outcomes must be solid goals. Than I would develope an action plan to obtain those goals. Remember you can as for help from your spouse or anyone else to help you reach these goals.
Kendra,
Didn't you just have a baby. I wonder if soem of these issues aren't because you are feeling a little down soemwhat like postpartum depression. |
Kendra
Spanko
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 371
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 05:07 pm: |
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My daughter is now 9 months old. Would postpartum last that long? As far as goals go, my husband knows all about them and just doesn't really pay attention to that stuff. It drives me crazy. It seems like all he cares about are things that he feels he can change. The only problems is.. he won't try to change anything.
May the Spirit of the Elves guide you.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1738
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, November 18, 2005 - 06:04 pm: |
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Kendra, Why are you waiting for him to try and change things? If you have your goals, don't wait for him to do anything, just do it. Maybe you are just more capable than he is.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Make_me
New member
Username: Make_me
Post Number: 30
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 19, 2005 - 02:42 am: |
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Hiya Kendra,
A new baby is hard, and alot work. At only 9mths old you are still easily in the time frame for depression. New babies take up all our time, i dont know the relationship you have with your husband, but he might actually be considering that.
The only thing i can advise is there needs to be communication.He will not know whats going on inside your head unless you tell him.
When its all out in the open and you still feel he is doing nothing after knowing your feelings about it, then thats when it becomes a problem.
Just remember men are like kids lol sometimes they need telling a few times before they take notice!!!(i am SO gonna get in trouble for that comment hehe) |
Make_me
New member
Username: Make_me
Post Number: 31
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 19, 2005 - 03:16 am: |
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Hiya Kendra me again lol,
I have just been over to your blog. I honestly dont know what to say now, but one thing i will say is i think he REALLY REALLY needs to read it.
Your blog explains and shows ALL your feelings and insecurities. It just might help him to understand how you feel.
I wish you all the best hun, Good luck x x |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 1742
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 19, 2005 - 09:46 am: |
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Make me....Trying not to sound disrespectful of the other gender, but I agree with you. Woman seem to have the better ability to see the whole picture and can handle multiple things at once. Men are more single tracked in their ways of thinking and viewing life. I find sometimes it takes more than a few times to get a point across.
Even then, you can still count of the fact that they may just not "get it". Oh, but we love them anyway!!
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Redhinney
Junior Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 87
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, November 19, 2005 - 10:03 am: |
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Kendra,
Just spent a couple of minutes reading your blog. You have to get your husband to read your blog it pretty much says it all. I also think that your husband is afraid that any punsihment he gives you will bring back bad emtions from the past. I think that you do need soem grief couseling Please call your local hospic center they offer free couseling to anyone who has had a close realtive die from cancer. How could not be in a tizzy, you find outyou are expecting, your grandparent dies etc. Please call hospic today. |
Kendra
Spanko
Username: Kendra
Post Number: 372
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, November 20, 2005 - 10:34 am: |
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I won't be able to call hospice until Monday morning, but I will look into it. I am currently updating my blog. I will also talk to my gramma, she might be able to give me the number for the nurse that took care of my grandpa. She might be able to give me more information.
Anyway, gotta go.
May the Spirit of the Elves guide you.
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