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Eod
New member
Username: Eod
Post Number: 2
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 02:25 pm: | 
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I'm interested in the warming up phase. For my partner there seems to be a point where it passes from endurance to enjoyment. I always start with my hand and build up the tempo, with lots of extra-curricular touching to vary the action. At some point I can detect a crossover where my partner begins to take enjoyment. I'm wondering if most bottoms enjoy it from the beginning, or if it takes awhile to get into it.
Also, as a side note, I've actually had my partner fall asleep during a session. Of course I managed to wake her up(!), but she still slid back a few more times. I asked her about it, and she said she was just really relaxed. I was amazed. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 794
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 09:09 pm: |
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Well, i don't enjoy it if I am being punished, but if it is for fun or pleasure then I do enjoy it from he begining. Also it is true that one can become so relaxed that they fall asleep, it usually happens when it is a rythmic not to intence spanking.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 30
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 01:31 pm: |
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Hi, Eod.
I hope to have a spanking be ALL about enjoyment, from start to finish, for both the spanker and spankee.
I could see where it can be soothing and the rthymic motion could surely put someone to sleep. My spankin's tend to really WAKE them up though.
I enjoy having a spanking that stetches limits, and offers variety, to the point the spankee has no idea what's coming next. Changing intensity, and force, along with every other aspect is what I enjoy most.
If I put him to sleep...what am I gonna do now?
Honestly, if the man doesn't enjoy the spanking, or being there in the first place...he wouldn't be my partner. Even if it's a role play of punishment...he's gettin' pleasure from it, in spite of whining about it. The smile on his face, gives him away...amogst other things, that he CAN'T hide. 
K |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 843
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 04:57 pm: |
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Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 142
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 05:52 pm: |
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I enjoy it from the beginning.
We only do erotic or playful though, no punishment. If he just started hard, I wouldn't enjoy it. The few times he really hasn't warmed me up, he's been surprised by my er...lack of usual physical response (not to mention loud and vehement protestations).
Um...hello? It friggin' hurts, buddy. I could give you a bj that just hurts, and I bet you wouldn't have the usual response either. |
Eod
New member
Username: Eod
Post Number: 3
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 11:10 pm: |
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It takes a long time to learn how to warm someone up. Too short a time or too hard a warmup is obvious - my wife can communicate that easily.
It's very hard sometimes to know, post-warmup, what's happening. It's like catching a wave - I find it tricky to get in perfect synch. When it happens, it's exhilirating and a bit surprising for both of us. It can go a long time on those occasions and the momentum is wonderful. When it doesn't, I usually back off and we find another way to play.
My wife has to have an accompanying role/story - the more outlandish the better.
It's more work by far for me, but of course more painful for her. A good trade-off when we get it right. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 850
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 11:46 pm: |
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warming up is key
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 439
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 - 11:47 pm: |
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About the post-warmup, are you checking with your wife to see how she's doing? Dan periodically checks on me by caressing me while asking how I'm doing (and letting his fingers wander just to be sure). This technique works for us, you might give it a try.
As you build up the spanking, it helps to take little breaks for rubbing or caressing your partner's bottom, back, or legs. Then when you go back to the spanking, don't go right back to the intensity you were spanking with before, let it build back up again. Then take another break. Just remember to keep checking on her.
I love long spankings like that. |
Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 31
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2005 - 11:15 am: |
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Great suggestions, Bethie. A spanker will learn what works with their partner, and is one reason why I'm no longer fond of casual play. You'll pick up on the signals to what is working.
Me thinks you've (Bethie) been spanked MANY times like this. 
K
PS It's not unusual for a spanking, from me, to last hours and hours...and hours! |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 441
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 13, 2005 - 03:03 pm: |
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Me thinks you might be right, Ftop. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 586
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 03:59 pm: |
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I'm curious Eod, is there the possibility that your wife is not falling asleep but instead going into subspace? In my understanding it can be different things to different people...her saying she is just very relaxed could be her way of "flying".
If she is in subspace, be careful how quickly you bring her out of it. Slowly and gently is always better for her. If she ever has a bad reaction or seems very emotional after a long spanking there's the possibility that she was yanked out of subspace too rapidly.
I could be wrong about this, but it is a thought. 
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Eod
New member
Username: Eod
Post Number: 6
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 06:06 pm: |
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Interesting thought Wolfie, though I'm not sure of what exactly you mean by subspace.
Also I can hear it in the different tone of her breathing.
It rarely happens, but I find it to be a totally unusual reaction. I'm not sure I'd like it if it happened frequently.
Thanks for the suggestion. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 589
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 08:32 pm: |
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Eod, subspace is a sort of "zoning out" that happens to a lot of bottoms during a long extensive spanking. I dont know whether it's the release of endorphins, the rythmic spanking or what that causes it...but many bottoms/subs find it a blissful state to be in. Your totally relaxed, in a fog or dream state and even cease to feel the spanks or whats going on around you. Thats why it's called "flying", because you feel as if your floating away from your body. A Dom I know always tickles his brats feet to see if she's in subspace...she's very ticklish, and if she doesnt react he knows she's flying.
It's not an easy state to get into, it takes a lot of trust on the part of the spankee to just relax and let go. The fact that you feel her body go lax and settle, that her breathing changes all points in that direction to me. I would recommend reading up a little on the subject if you can, you dont want to hurt your lady inadvertantly.
I have heard of bottoms/subs being hurt badly by a spanker who didnt recognize that she had gone into subspace...they just thought she was being bratty and ignoring the pain. So they paddled/flogged/caned harder and harder until someone stepped in and explained to them what was going on. Someone coming out of subspace needs to be held and cuddled, kept warm and given water until they are back in themselves comfortably again.
I hope this doesnt come across like preaching, I just want you both to be safe and enjoy yourselves.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Eod
New member
Username: Eod
Post Number: 7
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 15, 2005 - 10:55 pm: |
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Thanks for that explanation. I'd never heard of the term before.
I think it might apply to some of our experiences together. I actually took it more as a compliment than any sort of ignoring or defiance. It seemed to me that we had hit such a sweet spot that she was totally relaxed. It wouldn't occur to me to increase the force at that point. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 604
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 16, 2005 - 11:08 am: |
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Good for you Eod, I would take it as a compliment too. Complete trust among spankers is a lovely thing.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
I'm back!!!
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Bottombandit
New member
Username: Bottombandit
Post Number: 9
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 16, 2005 - 03:46 pm: |
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Reading from the origional post, "is the beginning fun?"
YES, including the anticipation before that. If not, why start? Although, we rarely get past the warm up before other play starts. But many times it continues to be part of the play. |
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