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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 137
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2005 - 08:43 pm: | 
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I am so mad, I called my husband 2 1/2 hours ago and asked if he was comming home. He said he'd be home soon. I told him that my eye was bothering me and I wanted to lay down, so he needed to hurry home and help with the kids. He said okay, but still is at work. I called and asked him where he was and he said he was still out repoing cars, I gat so mad at him. I know he has to work, but all the time? He bairly makes time for us. When he's home all he does is watch tv and sleep. I stay up all day taking care of our kids, and the 6 month old I watch, and then I stay up with our daughter at night. I am so cranky it's not even funny anymore. I hung the phone up on him. Any ideas what I should do?
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Ftopinmichigan
New member
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 2
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 04:13 pm: |
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What should you do, you ask.
I know I'm new here, and don't want to come off in a bad light, right from the start (it usually takes a few posts to show the 'evil' me  ), so with the deepest sincerity, I might suggest that you try to consider how your husband's day was going, or to see his point of view. Do you know what his day is like, on the job? Could he be as frustrated as you were?
I'm curious, since I just saw this post today, (Wednesday)...how did it go last night, when he came home?
K
PS Hoping all is well at home! |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 155
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 04:35 pm: |
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Well the thing is he loves me and his work. He was working late because his job is thrilling and he enjoys it. Last night was ok I guess. He came home after the kids were asleep, and he found me laying on the couch. He kissed my head rubbed my back, and went to bed. I was still mad so I slept on the couch. This morning we attempted to make up, but then he was called into work early, and as useual he went running.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Kennysspankee
New member
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 39
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 06:35 pm: |
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I'm not allowed to be mad and sleep on the couch. Being mad and sulking gets me a spanking. It works. The mad goes away and I feel at peace. |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 171
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 06:42 pm: |
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yah, well he lets me get away with every thing.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Kennysspankee
New member
Username: Kennysspankee
Post Number: 40
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 08:53 pm: |
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Maybe he just likes the bed to himself! |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 181
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 09:31 pm: |
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No he'd rather sleep on the couch if our 4 month old is in our room, or in our room if she's in the living room. It's his way of getting out of getting up in the middle of the night.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 126
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 10:09 pm: |
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Baby, it sounds to me like you're both stressed. Been there, done that.
You're home with a new baby, who's getting up all night to nurse/have a bottle. Sleep deprivation and hormonal fluctuations will make you be more sensitive too.
I'm not being patronizing. I have three of my own, and breastfed them all. I did 100% of nighttime feedings. Not much point to him getting up when I was the dairy. Besides, I was home at the time.
If your husband is like mine, his response to having a new baby and a wife who was off work for a few months was to WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Worry about providing for these people. And he responded to that by working harder.
Please try to give each other a break. Having a young baby in the house is a huge stressor, even though it's wonderful too.
You are on the same side. He's probably as overwhelmed as you are.
Try to take a deep breath...remember why you love him...remember that you're on the same side...and give him the benefit of the doubt.
Over and over.
My hubby and I went through a rough period after our third was born. And I realized that I was standing back keeping score, instead of showing him the love and caring that I wanted him to show me. When I started doing that again...he more than met me halfway.
One of the perks of our newfound closeness was me finding the strength to tell him about being a spanko. After hiding it for 12 years.
All long-term relationships go through ups and downs.
He's not the enemy. He's just not responding to the stress the way you wish he would. Hey - he's probably feeling the same way about you.
Good luck, and be good to each other. |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 191
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 10:16 pm: |
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thanks pagan
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Zippo
New member
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 48
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 10:31 pm: |
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Kudos Pagan..well said |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 194
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 28, 2005 - 10:37 pm: |
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I just want things to get better.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 127
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 09:51 pm: |
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Baby, my advice to you would be for YOU to make them better. Do what you can.
Don't meet him halfway. Meet him all the way, even if it feels like you're the only one working at it.
He can't help but respond to that, if he loves you.  |
Kimbers
Spanko
Username: Kimbers
Post Number: 255
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 29, 2005 - 10:57 pm: |
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Babyj4, I will offer some advice also...and like Pagan, it is not patronizing in the LEAST rather sharing an observation from my own life.
One thing young women don't always do a good job of is self-nurturance. Now before anyone tears my head off thinking I am "blaming" Baby for her feelings, hear me out. Oftentimes, we women put ourselves last in terms of taking care of ourselves and meeting our emotional needs. We also want some knight on a white stallion to come rushing in to be our hero. Well, 90% of the time it ain't happening and the end result is hurt feelings, being emotionally needy and rising tensions.
This is where I was at a few years ago. My three children were very young and my husband worked and traveled ALL THE FRICKEN TIME. I was feeling ignored, neglected and taken for granted. To add to the stress, our middle child is very special needs. Our marriage was becoming very shaky. I had to stop and really look to see we were both doing the best we could. I started carving out my own time...which was not easy since we do not have a family member in the state to ask for help. I talked to other women that were either older and had been there or were currently going through it. I insisted I have a once a month lunch date with a friend no matter how big the hassle of arranging it...and I tried to see how hard it must be to have the stresses my husband has but I wasn't seeing. I guess what I am trying to say is...please take care of yourself emotionally and don't think a man or anyone else can do that for you. Now, I would probably be annoyed as hell over my husband not coming home when I was sick also. We all get annoyed with our spouses...but I sense more frustration than just venting about him not coming home on a particular day. Hang in there dear, and remember there are lots of us here that do understand!
"I wish the real world would just stop hassling me!"
-Matchbox 20
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Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 215
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 30, 2005 - 12:38 am: |
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I appreciate the feed back, it makes me feel like I am not alone. We had a long talk tonight and I am sure things will improve soon, you have all been great. Thanks
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Zippo
Junior Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 61
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 30, 2005 - 01:45 am: |
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Thats the spirit Babyj Keep the lines of communication open and there will be brighter and redder horizions ahead  |
Babyj4
Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 221
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, September 30, 2005 - 12:16 pm: |
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I hope so cause you know I deserve it
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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Master60s_pet
New member
Username: Master60s_pet
Post Number: 11
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 02:53 pm: |
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I know I got here late on this discussion but I just wanted to say something. I have had the job of repoing cars. It is not easy. When I would get home from work my kitchen cabinets paid the price for my day. I cooked my frustrations out you might say. Then I did not want to talk to anyone. I wanted to be left alone. I did not like death threats and I did not like knowing I just picked up a persons only form of transportation. I staid in knots all the time. I would give you my last penny if you needed it, but my job dictated I be someone else. I know it is not fair to you, it was not fair to my family too. I eventually had to leave. No matter how tough skin you grow it still gets to you. We went to get one and we got it hooked up to the tow truck and three little heads popped up. There mom was in an apartment doing drugs and the kids were locked in the car. I left the car and contact the police to come and get the kids. It is not a fun job. |
Babyj4
Advanced Spanko
Username: Babyj4
Post Number: 793
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 11, 2005 - 09:06 pm: |
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Well, luckely he hasn't had to deal with anything like that. He is useually eager to tell me when something exciting happens though.
Babyj- worlds cutest little brat!
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