Post Number: 1
|Posted on Saturday, May 15, 2010 - 08:54 am: ||
I spank my fiancée for purely erotic purposes, no discipline or anything like that. This started off as her fetish but has become one we both share, and is something which I find to be a great addition to sex, she agrees.
When she introduced me to this I didn't spank her very hard. It's become progressively harder by her request, but it's gotten to the point where she cries, and still wants me to keep spanking her more and harder. This is hard for me to do psychologically. I've tried a few different things to keep doing it, but when she starts crying it's just not possible for me to keep spanking her. Two times I've been able to, once I spanked lighter and lighter (unintentionally), until she stopped crying. The other time I kept going by focusing on something else while I was doing it, until she stopped me. When she did and I saw her face, I almost felt like vomiting, I felt awful. She had tears all over her face, her eyes were red, and she was sobbing and sniffling. That really took me out of the mood.
I've told her that it's really hard for me to do, and she says she understands and that it's not a problem, but I can tell that she's really disappointed. I'm sure I can't be the only one who has this problem, so does anyone have any advice for how to get over this?
Post Number: 4
|Posted on Monday, May 17, 2010 - 02:37 pm: ||
Perhaps she doesn't want to just be spanked for purely erotic purposes. Perhaps it is discipline that she is looking for. As strange as it may sound, when done with mutual understanding and in the proper context, the one who is really in control during a disciplinary spanking is the one who is being spanked. There is a need that some people have to recieve corporal punishment, whether resulting from upbringing or some other deep emotional or psychological desire. Disciplinary spankings aren't erotic at all, and sometime (especially with women) they will bring the person to tears. And that can actually be good for the person on the receiving end. It's an emotional release and can help them put things into perspective. In some ways spanking for disciplinary reasons can be more intimate than erotic spankings. Maybe you should discuss it with her. Maybe that's what she's really looking for. One thing is for certain, those of us who want/need discipline like this usually feel very uncomfortable asking for it. We'd rather have the other person bring it up. Of course I could be completely wrong. The only way to know for sure is to ask.
Post Number: 70
|Posted on Wednesday, May 19, 2010 - 07:30 pm: ||
I have to agree with Jonas77 on this one. I was in the same situation and had to have that discussion with my spouse. Fortunately it worked out and my needs are being met. The benefit to you in all this will be the depth of love and appreciation that your partner has for you for meeting her needs. I say this because it has exponentially improved the deep bond I have with my wife because of her willingness to give me what I need at home in the comfort of my marriage. I know it's hard to understand, but the tears and sobbing were probably exactly what she wanted. Now you have to reconcile the role of the dominant (top) and give her what she needs as though you intend it to be that way. Best wishes to you.