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Spanking Den * Spanking Discussion Area * Jan 2009 - Dec 2009 * I'm going to get spanked today, and I'm scared < Previous Next >

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New member
Username: Gettingspanked

Post Number: 1
Registered: 04-2009
Posted on Sunday, April 19, 2009 - 02:17 pm:   Edit Post

Hi,I'm new to the forum but I'm concerned. My boyfriend has spanked me in the past, but playfully. Yesterday, I did something he told me I was not allowed to do, and he told me I was going to get a spanking for it. But, he is waiting until today. He told me yesterday it was going to hurt, that he was mad. I did exactly what he told me not to do on purpose, just because he told me not to do it. So, I was bad. He told me that he is going to bare ass spank me until I cry, so that I won't ever do it again. Should I go over to his house for my punishment? How can I make the spankings easier on me?
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New member
Username: Gettingspanked

Post Number: 2
Registered: 04-2009
Posted on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 - 01:43 am:   Edit Post

I took my spankings and actually enjoyed them. They did hurt, and I'm still feeling them today. It made me feel closer to him. I can't say that I won't intentionally be bad any more though. Does that mean he didn't spank me hard enough? He did the bare hand over the knee spankings... I couldn't count how many, he gave me a couple of breaks, and then would spank me again...after each hour break the spankings were progressively harder, he is talking about getting a paddle so that I feel the spanking more than he does. He did do some checking on my genitals to make sure they were staying moist and he commented on the swelling of my lips. I was aroused, but it was supposed to be a punishment. Is that okay?
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New member
Username: Eslynne_weaver

Post Number: 12
Registered: 04-2009
Posted on Wednesday, May 13, 2009 - 11:08 pm:   Edit Post

Spanking is one of those weird things that can sometimes be a very painful punishment and others an incredibly erotic experience - and sometimes even punishments can be arousing. Sometimes the arousal is mental and physical, sometimes just physical; but it's alright. I don't know what your goal is - some people want spanking to be part of discipline in their relationship, some people just like the sensation and having fun with it, some people are more into the whole power exchange. I personally get aroused, even if it's a hard punishment spanking and I'm nervous and it hurts a lot - usually I don't even realize until after it's over, and my husband is comforting me, that I'm soaking wet. He usually takes advantage of that!

So if you were aroused by a punishment, that's not unusual. A lot of spanking really has to do with your mental space - an erotic spanking can often be harder and longer than a real punishment, because if you're remorseful and feeling bad about something you did you're in a totally different frame of mind than if you're in the grip of sexuality.

My advise would be to decide what you want, what role you want spanking to play in your relationship. Talk to your boyfriend, see what he wants too. And if you start at one place and it evolves into something different, that's okay too. But it will help clarify things, I think, if you're on the same page.
For example, if you really want to use it as a tool in your relationship, for better communication about what you two expect from each other, then bratting (doing something just because he told you not to, just to get a spanking) is probably not the best idea. Asking for a spanking for fun or stress relief would be better. But if you two decide it's just for fun or erotic use, then being contrary on purpose could be fun.

So basically, it's up to you two and what you want. Hope that helped a little. :-)
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Advanced Spanko
Username: Subbie

Post Number: 209
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Thursday, May 14, 2009 - 11:58 pm:   Edit Post

I think we all have been scared at one time or another, we are getting back into spankings again, can only say I have needed to be spanked.

We all can have different resons as to why we need to be spanked or have a combanation of reasons, some of it is having your boyfriend/hubby take some control, or you need to be punished it could be a way to increase your sexual feelings. as well as a way to keep you in line.

On any given day it could be all of the above but that's not the important part, and that part is to have you spanker on the same page as you are and each one of you enjoy all the good feelings a spanking can give you.
my name says it all
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Username: Slavegirl

Post Number: 24
Registered: 09-2008
Posted on Monday, May 18, 2009 - 07:39 pm:   Edit Post

it is supposed to hurt, at least a bit, or there is no point to it.

it depends on what he uses. it is hard to give a really hard spanking with the hand unless he goes on and on, so perhaps limit it to hand spanks and time limit the session, or limit the number of strokes.

the best piece of advice is to agree a safeword. that way you can let him know how you are feeling, without actually telling him explicitly, which can break the spell.

you can agree gradations of safeword that have a pattern to them. for instance beer for “i’m starting to smart”, wine for “i’m near to the end of what i want to take” and spirits for “please stop now”.

and if the spankings are erotic you can always say if he stops he can do anything he likes with you. i don’t usually get many more after saying that

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