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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1975
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, January 17, 2009 - 03:21 pm: | 
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People often refer to hard limits and soft limits in this lifestyle. Hard limits are firm, non-negotiable limits and soft limits are those that might be negotiable under the right circumstances.
After a couple of conversations recently, I realized that for me, my hard limits have changed over time. A couple of things that once were soft limits are now hard limits. For example, I refuse to allow anyone other than my love, Dan, spank me or allow anyone to watch. When I was younger, I could be talked into it under the right circumstances. Now, there's no way I'd allow it.
Also, one of my former soft limits, the cane, is now something I've come to enjoy and have no problems with.
But my hard limit about big whips hasn't changed, I still want nothing to do with them. I know there are people who enjoy them, but it's not for me. Even though I've never tried it, I want no part of it. In my head, I just can't get over that limit so it's non-negotiable.
Way back when I was young, single, and still had the hard limit about canes, a top I was getting to know kept trying to convince me that I needed to try it before calling it a hard limit. I kept telling him a hard limit is a hard limit and not one to be violated. Long story short, he pushed too hard and I ended our relationship.
I'd been told that you can't trust someone who doesn't understand what a hard limit is and if you can't trust them there's no way you should allow them to spank you. They were right. After that top pushed so hard to get me to relax my limits, I felt like I could never trust him enough to put myself in his hands. It ruined the whole relationship. Which was okay because I moved on and found someone better suited for me.
When Dan and I met, we discussed these things at length and he has always respected my limits. He even has a couple that match mine. 
Does anyone else have hard or soft limits? Have those limits changed or are they the same? I'm curious if anyone else has changed theirs like I have. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2699
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, January 18, 2009 - 09:26 pm: |
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I have a few hard limits.
One, I'm with Bethie...I won't allow anyone but my husband to spank me and I won't let anyone watch.
Another hard limit is Canes. I don't want anything to do with them. Yes I've tried it ..once and it was just a trial nothing serious...but it isnt' my thing.
Big whips is another. I don't even want to try it. Again just not my thing.
Wood paddles used to be a hard limit for me but now its changed to a soft limit.
I always had problem with anything that wasn't leather. I've evolved..wood is allowed now .
I still prefer leather...but i've come to appreciate some wood implements too.
I wonder sometimes where I will be with my limits in the next ten years. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2702
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, January 20, 2009 - 12:28 pm: |
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I'm curious about others and their limits....
Anyone??? |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 2206
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 22, 2009 - 08:44 am: |
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Limits? Me?
Well..yes I do have some.
I don't like the cane. Tried it...don't like it. Not that it was wholly unpleasant it just isn't my thing.
No whips...never...nada...nill...EVER. Saw what happened to a friend after she submitted and it was horrible. To me that is.
I like his hand. He doesn't need a paddle but sometimes he will use one cos he says it makes his hand sting. (what about my bum!?) Don't mind wood cos he's good at applying it correctly.
Love his belt. Love the sound of it coming out of the belt loops. (insert shivers here)
Nobody but my hubby touches me. Period. When I first got into the scene r/l and not online I did experiment with a few guys till I met with my hubby. They couldn't hold a candle to his technique.
Sadly...due to having developed fibromyalgia I am unable to accept much. I used to be able to really get into the zone and take it for a long period of time but now the spankings have to be short and sweet. My tolerance has gone WAY down and it's fustrating.
Every time I say the word "exercise" I wash my mouth out with chocolate
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Tawseman
Spanko
Username: Tawseman
Post Number: 42
Registered: 07-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, February 08, 2009 - 10:12 am: |
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Our hard limit is that my wife and I always stop at damage that takes over a week to heal for her, and sometimes two weeks for me. My spankings are bottom only, but she likes it on other areas somewhat, but not as hard as on her bottom.
And, we avoid heavy instruments that could do deeper damage. As an example, when kneeling, I am caned only with lighter canes, as the heavier ones trigger some sort of pain deep in the hip joint. Probably stirring up arthritis, I don't know, but as much as we both like it, we don't do that any more. Her bottom is a little fuller, and she doesn't get it as long or as hard, so their is no hip joint pain. |
Spankingdesires
New member
Username: Spankingdesires
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2009
| | Posted on Thursday, April 09, 2009 - 11:28 pm: |
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Hard Limits...
1. Marks that last longer than a few days. So the spanking has to happen accordingly.
2. Blood or breaking the skin.
Soft Limit...
1. Only one. The cane. I have been canned once and would consider it again but would certainly not like it. |
Eslynne_weaver
New member
Username: Eslynne_weaver
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2009
| | Posted on Friday, April 10, 2009 - 11:42 am: |
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Hmm. Most of my hard limits are outside of the topic of this board, I think. Regarding spanking, paddling etc, they're pretty much all soft limits - it depends on my mental state and what else is going on. But I have noticed some changes. It takes longer to get into the right frame of mind than it used to, but I have more self control when I do get there. Interesting question. |
Subbie
Advanced Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 187
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, April 11, 2009 - 10:31 am: |
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My hard limits would be switch, cane, whip,nothing that is going to injury me or leaving lasting marks.my soft limits most anything that can be considered as safe, not going to mark me for a week, more into errent wife gets spanked otk, before having sex...subbie
my name says it all
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