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New member
Username: Gabriella

Post Number: 1
Registered: 01-2009
Posted on Sunday, January 04, 2009 - 11:09 am:   Edit Post

Hi everyone I am a new member, I am a woman in my mid forties from Texas. I wanted to ask some advice from the group. I have decided that I am going to get spanked in 2009 instead of just reading about it. I am going to travel to meet at least a couple of male spankers. My question is about the trip protocol. I can afford to pay my own way and to pay for my hotel but should I ask him to contribute? I feel like we would both be getting something out of this, he gets to spank and I get to be spanked.

I have done this one other time in early 2007. I met a guy at a conference that his employer paid for him to attend (airfare and hotel) and I paid my own airfare and hotel. Though a good experience I felt maybe he should offered to pay something?

Any advice on this is welcome. Thanks and Happy New Year!
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Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie

Post Number: 1972
Registered: 04-2005

Posted on Sunday, January 04, 2009 - 02:48 pm:   Edit Post

Hi, Gabriella, and welcome to the forum!

Personally, I feel that if you pay for the trip yourself, then you won't feel obliged to him in any way whatsoever. Yes, he's getting something out of it, but do you really want to feel like you owe him something? That is especially true if you don't know the man very well.

What if the two of you don't click in person? Then there you are, out of your comfort zone, with a man who might expect something for his money. That may sound a bit crude, but you don't want to take that chance, do you?

If you establish a relationship, then later he should be expected to return the favor and maybe travel to see you or help pay your expenses. But I'd wait to see how things work out between you before asking for a financial contribution.

If you're staying long enough, after your initial meeting (which I'll go into later in this post), maybe you can allow him to treat you to a meal while you're in town. If that's not an option, then just accept your expenses as the price you're paying for meeting your personal needs. You can think of it as your personal spanking budget.

As for basic safety precautions, I'd follow the general rules we suggest to anyone about to meet someone they've only known online. Before you leave, make sure you give your basic travel plans and contact info to a trusted friend, and prearrange a call so that person knows you arrived safely and when to expect to hear from you again. You might want to schedule a call midway through your visit if you're going to be gone for more than a couple of days; whatever you're comfortable with.

Also, plan to meet your new friend at a public place the first time. Don't go rushing off to a relative stranger's home or invite him into your hotel room until you've gotten to know him face-to-face. (Yes, I know you already feel like you know him from your previous interactions, but there's nothing like a face-to-face for being sure.)

If the man you're meeting balks at any of these safety precautions, then don't meet him. If you meet him and warning bells go off in your head, find a way to end the encounter (which is why meeting in public is such a good idea). Always listen to your instincts and don't let him guilt you into continuing the meeting or make you feel like you've wasted his time. That's another good reason why you should pay your own way btw.

These precautions (safety calls, a public meeting for the first time) are widely accepted in this lifestyle and anyone who tries to make you feel bad for doing them isn't someone who has your best interests in mind. Your comfort should be a priority for both of you.

We have a thread here on the board about safety and I'll try to find it for you in case there's something I've forgotten.
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New member
Username: Gabriella

Post Number: 2
Registered: 01-2009
Posted on Sunday, January 04, 2009 - 09:47 pm:   Edit Post

you are awesome, thanks! I just needed the help on the logistics/finance part of it, it's new to me.
I am ok on the safety piece, i am a careful type of person and I have always listened to my instincts in my life, it has served me well.
really this was great, thanks

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