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Vulcano
New member
Username: Vulcano
Post Number: 30
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 10:16 am: | 
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Another question that popped in my mind and I'd appreciate if you let me know your ideas...
Sometimes it all makes me think that the willingness of a bottom to reveal her/his vulnerability and even accept what some people would never accept> that is to be "hurt", even made to cry, by the partner... that this willingness springs from the inner feeling that relationships are due to go through ups and downs and that the pain and tears a relationship can sometimes cause us are just part of the game and if realized as such the tears get its value as something positive, not negative. Moreover, the experience of a bottom that the top didn't cross the boundaries and didn't really hurt them in spite of all the vulnerability and the power the top suddenly has, can extend to the real life and help to build even a deeper trust between the two of them in real life. As trust is, of course, a prerequisite of any spanking really taking place. Anyone of you sharing this point of view? Or not at all on the other hand? And what about you, tops, does the feelings spanking give you leak to the real life and influence it somehow?
(Message edited by vulcano on September 01, 2005) |
Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 107
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 01, 2005 - 04:39 pm: |
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Hm...
I kind of agree, and yet disagree. 
I absolutely agree that telling my husband about my desire (need, really) to be spanked was tremendously freeing. His willingness to accept this about me, and learn to spank, has brought us much closer together. I feel like I no longer need to wear my masks around him.
And yes...I definitely feel close to him after he has just spanked me.
On the other hand, we don't do discipline, and he's never even come close to making me cry. I don't personally see that I/we would derive a benefit from that. All relationships go through ups and downs, of course. But I don't feel that spanking is symbolic of that. |
Kittycat
New member
Username: Kittycat
Post Number: 27
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, September 04, 2005 - 07:48 pm: |
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My lover and i are into his spanking me. Sometimes its for fun, and sometimes he gets carried away and i walk out of the room with a bright red ass. Now he suggested that he tie me up and do this. Has anyone else tried this, what can i expect and what do i tell him? |
Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 108
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 11:41 am: |
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I was in a romantic spanking relationship a few years ago where we switched.
I had no problems with it. Why not? You enjoy it...why shouldn't he?
Having said that, I'm not a sub, and didn't feel that it changed our relationship dynamic. He spanked me for both erotic and playful reasons (mock discipline, if you will). I spanked him erotically.
We often combined bondage with spanking, but not always. It certainly makes restraining a much larger man easier. It's not like I had the strength to either overpower him or even hold him down. Once secured...he wasn't going anywhere.
No one can tell you whether or not this is right for you. I would encourage you to be open to it, though. It may not have been easy for him to even ask. If you really can't...be sensitive about how you say no. |
Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 109
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 11:44 am: |
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Sorry, Kittycat. I just realized that I misread your post.
Yes, I've been bound as well as spanked. It's a trust issue, IMO. I knew he wouldn't go any further than he would have had I just been over his lap...and I knew that he'd stop at a word.
If you really trust him...why not? Choose a safe word if it makes you feel better...and let us know how it goes. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 461
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 05, 2005 - 12:34 pm: |
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Kittycat, I love being spanked and I love bondage. We havent really done a lot of the two together yet, but Im sure it will be fun. I wouldnt like to be tied up for discipline...I choose to let him discipline me, and if I were tied it would feel like the choice had been taken away from me.
I definitely agree with Pagan, choose a safeword if just to make you feel calmer in the beginning. One thing concerns me about you trying this....you say that sometimes he gets carried away? This isnt a good thing in the person spanking you, you need to be able to trust him. How can you if you never know if your getting a nice spanking or something much worse? The difference between an enjoyable spanking and discipline should always be aparent, otherwise it's way too easy for the bottom to become confused.
Play safe and have fun.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!
ISN'T IT OCTOBER YET? *pout*
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