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Message |
    
Pirana
New member
Username: Pirana
Post Number: 1
Registered: 04-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 08:22 am: | 
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I am a great spanking fan. Although,i don't get spanked. why? I have trouble explaining it to my husband. He gets it that I like to "get it" on my bare bottom during sex, but I don't know how to tell him that I want a real spanking, punishment spanking..
ok, reading all your posts here, i pretty much got the picture how am I going to tell him, but here is my next question.-
-- I am not really sure what to tell him- WHEN and WHY he should spank me....
so I was wondering- when and why do you get spanked? do you only pretend to be a bad girl and then you have the "show" with the corner time , OTK and stuff? Or - do you acctually get punished for something- being late, lying.... and stuff.
so, please, a few answers could really help me out with this.
I am planning on telling him tonight when he comes from work, a I think he is gonna need really precise instructions...
i hope u understood my question..
tnx for any help... |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3466
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 11:45 am: |
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Welcome to the Den, Pirana. Many of us find that making a list of what we consider offenses, or things about ourself that we want to change helps. You may also want him to make a list of things you do, that he does not approve of. By making a comparing these lists you will be able to agree on which areas you can make improvements with his help.
Others of us here, like to play with mock discipline, and that means being spanked for things that are not really areas we need improvement. That would include pretending to be a "bad girl" or bratting to get attention.
Still others like to get into role play, where you pretend to be in situations where you would need a spanking. This may include things like the naughty wife, secretary etc.
Ask yourself what you really want and need and decide with your husband which category the two of you are most comfortable with. Keep in mind that you may change your attitude many times and that is just fine.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Pirana
New member
Username: Pirana
Post Number: 2
Registered: 04-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 02:18 pm: |
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thanx a lot for your answer. I hope he is gonna be into it as much as I am.
Is it normal to feel weird for the first time? to be embarased?
I have red almost all your post on this forum (even the archive  ) to find out as much as possible about this and I do see that it all depends on individual, but I wanted to ask if there is a pain difference when mocking discipline and punishment?
like, if it is only a game,how to set a limit? when to stop? at the safe word, or we should define spanking time before. or.. i don't know...
i am sorry if there are some mistakes in my english, but i am not an english native speaker.
tny |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3467
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 06:39 pm: |
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Don't worry about your English, Pirana, you are doing fine. Yes, it is common for people to feel uncomfortable, weird or even embarrassed at first. It is not a topic you just talk about with your friends and neighbors. It takes a lot of adjustment on both peoples part.
I am glad you have been doing a lot of reading as that is the best way to learn as well as asking questions. You are doing a great job. 
Pain varies from individual to individual, what hurts you may seem tame to me. Bethie insists she has an iron butt.  Her pain treshold in a lot higher that mine!
Mock discipline can feel the same as "real" punishment. It depends on what you want.
I suggest you start slowly, as you can always increase what you are doing. Play around a bit and see what you are both comfortable with. A safe word is important as you are likely to say no....even when you don't really mean it.  It is all part of the fun. A safe word lets him know that you really mean you need for him to stop.
You mentioned setting limits, and maybe you will find that coming up with a certain number of spanks to start with works. By that I mean, a certain activity will result in 10 swats. You change that number if it doesn't feel right.
Within time, your husband will begin to learn to read your signals. He will know when you have had enough or when you need more. He will be able to tell from your movements, what you say and how you act, but that takes a lot of trial and experience. Don't expect it to come overnight.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Pirana
New member
Username: Pirana
Post Number: 3
Registered: 04-2008
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 08, 2008 - 11:58 pm: |
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thanx a lot for your help..
I hope it's gonna happend soon.. |
Rex138
Spanko
Username: Rex138
Post Number: 75
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, May 03, 2008 - 12:07 pm: |
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Hi Pirana and welcome to the board.
I think most if not all of us would STRESS the importance of a safe word as Fanny has pointed out.
When I first started in getting spankings, I thought I wanted a true "punishment spanking" but in retrospect, that would've been too heavy for me at that time.
Also the idea of getting your partner to agree to giving punishments spankings may be harder for him to get into, especially if he is relatively new to this too.
The best way to get started is communication. Tell him that you want to do this but explain how the safe word works. It MUST be the end all.
Over time, you will start testing your limits and he will start feeling more comfortable in applying a good spanking. Then as you both become more and more "spankos", the punishment spanking may be an easier thing to transition into.
These are just my thoughts Pirana not trying to tell you what to do.
Spanking is such an awesome thing and can be rewarding to many different people on many different levels. But the foundation needs to be SAFE and Trusted play between both parties.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time."
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Ladykayra
New member
Username: Ladykayra
Post Number: 13
Registered: 03-2008
| | Posted on Sunday, May 04, 2008 - 12:08 am: |
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Pirana,
from the sound of it, your both still new. Mocking spankings are just that, its more a playful spanking then anything. Most who mocking spankngs, end up having really good sex.
A REAL punishment, you are not rewarded by sex, and it hurts like a SOB.Though you might feel a release in one way or another.
You shouldnt lie, or anything that will cause a lack of trust in your relationship.
Sit down with him, talk about rules and what happens if you break them. Will you get spanked, corner time, or what ever he wishes.
The longer you are in a Spanking relationship the more you will understand the difference. Alot of the *pain* is really a mind frame. When my husband punishes me, it hurts more, then when he simply wants to spank me for his pleasure, or when I ask him for a spanking. I think you will learn the difference the more you and your other half get into this. Good luck |
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