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Message |
    
Yellaslug
New member
Username: Yellaslug
Post Number: 6
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 04:18 pm: | 
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I swear, he just doesn't get it! I've explained what I need to my fiance, he even seemed to agree, and Now, he wont do it. He Spanked me twice, lightly as a discipline, and now he completely ignores everything I do... Any advice on how I can get him to start again?
When in doubt, SPANK
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Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1866
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 06:11 pm: |
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I've been known to just walk up to my fella and tell him...
SPANK ME!! NOW!!
Usually works.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
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Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2092
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 08:47 pm: |
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Just don't brat him. Most men (not all) but most don't like the bratting and will ignore the behavior.
Communication is key just keep talking to him about what you want. |
Petergrimm
New member
Username: Petergrimm
Post Number: 13
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 08:52 pm: |
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Depends on what you need I guess. I know it is dicipline related spanking but that takes different forms with different folks. Shylah's suggestion should get you a spanking if he is willing to be a top but it won't get you a Dominant that will take you in a firm hand on a day to day basis.
My suggestion is to get back to the negotiating table. The issues from his end can be many:
-Domming takes work and effort which may seem unnecessary if everything in the relationship is hunky-dory from his view.
- He may have issues with the acceptability of giving you what you need - lightness of previous discipline may indicate that. It is a Catch 22 situation - most guys that are caring and sensitive enough to be good husband material have also been conditioned to NOT be what you need. The trick is to get him to see he can be caring and sensitve and all that good stuff and still wallop your ass because that's what you want, even need. Need to get any concerns here out and addressed.
- His head just may not be into it. With dicussion and leading he may be able to play the part even if it is not "him" but this may leave you wanting more than he can give.
Keep in mind that what you need is unique to you - there may be ways for you to be satisfied that he may be more willing or able to fulfil. Breakdown what spanking does and means to you (eg elements of pain, humiliation, submission, erotic pleasure, etc) and then see if you can get these elements separately or together in other ways he will actively pursue. Spanking may then become a part of what you end up with rather than the only way there. You are young so experiment.
If I had a dollar for every bottom in your shoes I would be a rich man. Those that get to where they want to go do it by communication.
I wish you the best of luck.
Regards,
Peter Grimm |
Otktime4sassy
New member
Username: Otktime4sassy
Post Number: 15
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, May 30, 2007 - 10:13 pm: |
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Yellaslug, I am sorry I have no real good advice to give you but I will tell you that I do
COMPLETELY understand how you feel. In fact, I now owe Peter a dollar. Seriously, I hope you and your Husband can reach an amicable understanding through the means of communication. Best wishes, Sassy |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 2100
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, May 31, 2007 - 11:04 am: |
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I think most of us have been there.
I sometimes print out stories or articles that have to do with what I'm thinking.
I've sent my husband e-mails before too.
We HAVE a spanking relationship..we met in a spanking chat room. We both knew what we wanted from the begining but it doesn't make talking about it any easier.
Communication communication communication
Thats what you have to have and do!! |
Yellaslug
New member
Username: Yellaslug
Post Number: 7
Registered: 05-2007
| | Posted on Thursday, May 31, 2007 - 01:59 pm: |
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thanks, sometimes i just wanna hit him over the head with a brick for being so dense, I'll try talking to him... again. We'll see what comes, we talk, but I'm wondering if he listens.. we'll find out. Tomorrow night, I'm closing tonight, so I'll be totally dead when i get home. Talking in a grumpy mood CAN'T be good... right?
When in doubt, SPANK
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Pixiekitten
New member
Username: Pixiekitten
Post Number: 31
Registered: 02-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 03:34 pm: |
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My Husband hates bratting as well. He will not punish me for it but will ignore it completely. Quite infuriating when I want negative attention darnit. Sometimes if I push it I'll hear "Kitten, you can either stop being a brat right now or you can go stand in the corner for an hour and then go straight to bed." Corner time is no fun.
Just wait...you'll know the right moment to ask Him for one. Make sure to let Him know that He is the only one who can fulfill this need for you. It will either appeal to His ego or His sense of obligation. Both men have large amounts of. Did I say that? 
Maybe give Him a little hairbrush as a gift and put it in a location that is easily reached. Let Him know that it is there w}hen He feels it needs to be used. It might make Him devlishly curious.
"Naughty Pixies Always Get Caught."
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Glory
New member
Username: Glory
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2007
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 13, 2007 - 05:34 pm: |
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I love email! If you want something that is hard to as for...email him. The idea mentioned about sending stories you find on line is great too.
As hard as it is sometimes to just come out and ask...sometimes its best to just come out and ask. Or make a date. Some of the fun is the spontaneity of it, but so is the anticipation. Make a "play date". Talk about what you both want and then pick a date and time. The anticipation for that date is so much fun, and it still kind of feels like its not TOTALLY planned.
Does my babble make sense? |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3264
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, June 27, 2007 - 11:40 pm: |
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I am not one who feels comfortable asking for a spanking even though I am in a very long term spanking relationship. The easiest thing for me to do is simply say "I need help getting through this particular situation". The help may come in the form of a spanking, but sometimes it can be just chat or support. I am for anything that works.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 453
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, June 28, 2007 - 08:15 pm: |
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So, I am tossing Peter a loonie. (A dollar coin, for all the non-canadians).
But I also wanted to thank Fanny. You know, sometimes I get so into thinking about how much a spanking would help, that I forget about all the other ways he can and does support me (and WELL at that). Thanks for the reminder... |
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