Post Number: 1
|Posted on Friday, July 01, 2005 - 05:48 pm: ||
I'm new here and would like to talk about, and ask some questions about, punishment spankings.
I am a 48-year-old woman and fantasised about spankings for a long time. I wasn't spanked as a child so my fantasies weren't driven by memories or experiences. In recent times, however, I started thinking that I am the sort of person who might greatly benefit from punishment spankings despite my age. My reason for this is that I have several self-destructive behaviours that I haven't been able to correct myself. I live alone so am not accountable to anyone and, when I do things that I don't like, or know that I shouldn't, I tend to think that there will be another time so that's okay. I'm now concerned that some of my behaviours are going to have very unpleasant long-term consequences and somehow my brain turned to the idea of being accountable to another person and receiving punishment spankings when I practise these inappropriate behaviours. Although straight, I want my mentoring and discipline to be with another woman. To this end I've been searching the web and have come across two women in my area with whom I'm having coffee to discuss this.
I envisage our relationship being akin to a mentoring relationship except that rather than being discussion-based, it would be based on appropriate discipline for nominated transgressions. The appropriate discipline would always be an over-the-knee, bare bottom spanking administered for a time, and at a level, to be determined by my mentor.
I envisage that we would negotiate goals and achievements, perhaps weekly, and that I would then discuss how I had performed and my mentor would decide whether I needed to be punished. I imagine that I would require at least two or three spankings because it's always difficult to change a behaviour. I am thinking that I won't have a safe word because, from what I've read, they are more appropriate for play, or erotic, spankings. Do you think this is foolish? I don't expect this to be in any way fun, or erotic. In fact, I'm a bit worried about my ability to endure the spanking without making a complete goose of myself and begging for the punishment to stop. But of course this won't happen because it's a punishment and my mentor will decide the terms. I'm also curious, and perhaps those of you who use punishment spankings can comment on this, about how long the spanking will last. Two minutes, five minutes, longer? And what does it actually feel like the first time?
I'm hoping that after a couple of spankings I'll be able to moderate my behaviour and thus avoid future spankings.
Do those of you who use punishment spankings find it effective as an aid to behaviour modification?
Many thanks for your opinions and any advice you can offer.
Post Number: 3
|Posted on Monday, July 04, 2005 - 05:17 am: ||
Punishment spankings are very effective in my experience. The reasons are simple and straightforward and you menntion them yourself: boundaries, consequences and accountability.
Maintenance spankings too can be effective in achieving behaviour modifiction.
In principle I agree with what you say about not having a safe word and in the context of punishment that is probably correct. But you must of course have absolute trust in and respect for the person who is administering your spanking. This trust and respect is also relevant in considering your question about the length and severity of such spankings because the spanker will decide this. You must trust him to do what is fair and "just right" and what you deserve.
Post Number: 709
|Posted on Monday, July 04, 2005 - 10:03 am: ||
Well said, Jim and all very true.
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
Post Number: 4
|Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 07:19 am: ||
It is indeed, Fanny - and great when you have found that person who you can trust to that extent.
Do you speak from experience? I get the feeling you do.
Sorry if that is a silly question but I'm new here and don't know much about any other members yet. I suppose I will get to know more as the days pass!
Post Number: 711
|Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 09:03 am: ||
Do I speak from experience Spanker4u? Hmmm.....maybe just a "little", do you have like about four days to talk?!?!?
"Queen of Innocence"
"oooooo", she says!!
Post Number: 6
|Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 04:38 pm: ||
I thought so! Four days! My word you must be, or at least must have been, a very very "naughty girl".
Post Number: 323
|Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 05:23 pm: ||
One could say that yes she is Spanker4u.
I just want to echo your sentiment about trust. You can not take it lightly when venturing down this type of road. Very well said.
Nothing says I love you like a spanking
Post Number: 81
|Posted on Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - 08:04 pm: ||
I don't think I can be of much help to you Naughty Girl, because in my case the few punishment spankings I have had have been more or less to clear the air between myself and my hubby Mr. B.
But it may help you to know that:
1. The duration and severity of the spankings were his to decide.
2. No safe words were available - but then we are hubby and wife so the trust level is already there.
In our relationship our rules are pretty simple, they are called common sense. Use it and there will be no need for punishment spankings. Don't use it and we will be having a discussion. But it is always fair and sometimes I get away with a lot more than I probably should.
Not much help I'm afraid to your situation, but perhaps something I've said will be useful to you.
Good Luck - just be careful and choose well.
The Spice of Life is having my OWN WAY!! A spanking would be nice.
Post Number: 3
|Posted on Wednesday, July 13, 2005 - 06:45 pm: ||
Dear Naughty Girl
I have some experience giving disciplinary spankings and I hope my comments and advice help.
First, the age of 48 is the perfect time for your first spanking. You have the experience and confidence to know what you want and need.
A punishment spanking is a very powerful thing so be careful and think about it. If you simply want to experience a spanking to fulfill your fantacy - great go for it. This would be a play spanking. Pretend it is punishment and get it as hard or as easy as you want. Use a safe word.
On the other hand you really want to experience a real, punishment spanking to help correct your behavior that is completely different from a play spanking. A real spanking is serious punishment reserved for adults. (woman) It can help modify your behavior and focus your attention.
You must have complete confidence and trust in your mentor. This woman ( I think you said you wanted a woman to the job) should have experience and have your best interest at heart. Know this woman very well as you are about to relinquish complete control. If you want this to be a punishment spanking your mentor will decide the intensity and duration of the chasetisement.
You asked what it will feel like:
A real punishment spanking will hurt like hell! Your botton will be literally on fire way before the spanking is over. It will be worse, I promise, than you imagene. Your seat will be bright pink/red and radiating heat. The good news is once the spanking is over your rear will return to near normal very quickly. You were concerned over loss of control and acting like a "goose". If your mentor does a good job you will make a complete spectacle of yourself as you howl, honk (like a goose), kick and squirm over her lap. It's very hard to take a real spanking with dignity. Again, you will recover quickly.
You asked how ling should the spanking go on:
In my experience a disciplinary spanking is over very quickly. A punishment spanking should be an intense, non-stop series of brisk, resounding spanks applied to the upturned, bare bottom. The discomfort is immediate and increases with every slap. Estimate 1 1/2 to 2 smacks per second. You do the math. I estimate 30 to 45 seconds should do the trick and add another 15 to 30 seconds for the second spanking. It will seem like an eternity. You will think it will never end and then it does.
Is this what you want?
Post Number: 240
|Posted on Thursday, July 14, 2005 - 01:11 am: ||
Naughtygirl no two spankings (or spankers) are alike. Everyone does things differently, so you should have a very clear picture in your mind of what you want before you meet these women. Will your punishment be more of a physical nature, or will psychology be a part of it?
Whomever you choose, be very sure you are both on the same page before your first session. Let her know exactly what behaviors you need correcting and what you hope to accomplish with the spankings to come. Its not fair to expect her to curb the habits of a lifetime in one or two sessions, so be patient. I highly recommend a safeword, at least in the beginning...and if she disagrees find out why. Safety is of utmost importance with a newbie, and saying you dont need a safeword can be downright arrogant.
My more serious punishments are more psychologically driven then just being spanked to tears. In fact I have only been seriously punished twice in 2 years, and both times that meant 6 swats with my punishment paddle. Because the rituals we observe help me to get in the proper frame of mind ahead of time, each swat feels like he's killing me...although I have been assured that he spanks much harder when we are playing and I'm giggling like crazy! Because of where my head is at the time, I can begin crying by the 3rd swat...and I cant wait until he's done before throwing myself into his arms for the reassurance we both so desperately need at that point. So you see, everyone uses different techniques to get their point across, and your health and well-being should be the most important aspect of any punishment.
Good luck with your search. Remember, this is about helping you get help with some behavioral problems...go with your gut if something doesnt feel right. My experience is that most women who wish for discipline in their lives are somewhat submissive and this can get them into trouble, feeling like they Have To go along with what the Top/Dom wants instead of what they want. Yes, the duration and strength of a spanking is up to the disciplinarian...but its a spanking after all, not a beating.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!