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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 883
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 02, 2006 - 11:33 am: | 
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How does one go about asking for a longer spanking? Sounds simple doesn't it? But I seem to be in the situation where hubby has no problem spanking me, but I seem to long for more - He will stop and say "your bottom is getting red!"......and I WANT it that way - but I think he feels that this is a signal to stop.
Any suggestions? I am not a "brat" so that idea is out - I know that just TELLING him is probably the best thing - I guess I am just hoping that he will KNOW to give me more.....
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 178
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, October 02, 2006 - 11:45 am: |
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Tell him Piink!I,ve heard it in the quite a few time we guuys have be talked to very openly for us to understand something apparently obvious to ya,all. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1259
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 02, 2006 - 01:26 pm: |
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I've sometimes wished for a spanking to continue as well. The first time it happened I didn't say anything. Then the next time I said something like how great that was...however I kinda wanted more. I got it!! Boy did I get it!!
He's a man Pink and we always think that they should be able to read our minds...they can't!!
You have to tell him!! |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1141
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 02, 2006 - 02:24 pm: |
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I'd suggest talking to him sometime when you're not being spanked. Just casually say something like this: "You know, honey, spanking is a little like sex, it takes some buildup to get to the peak and lately I've discovered I need a little more help reaching that peak. Getting red is good but I'd like to be bright red."
That way he's prepared the next time. If he's not a spanko, he may need time to mull it over in his head. You could say it when he stops spanking you but he might not process it as well.
Good luck! |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2758
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 02, 2006 - 02:37 pm: |
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Pink, as simple as it sounds, sometimes a question like "are you finished already, I was just getting warmed up?" lets him know you want more. It can be said in a very innocent voice and not sound bratty at all.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Zippo
Supreme Spanko
Username: Zippo
Post Number: 1665
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, October 02, 2006 - 06:18 pm: |
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K has had the same concerns about not being spanked long enough, from my view even in discipline, the ultimate safety of the spankee should be paramount. I've tried to gauge the length and severity on the body language she presents to me, ie..if she is very limp, I assume she has had enough. She will also brat me more if she really wants more, but, I have a comfort zone for what I can administer. Good Communication is key. She got me to agree to spank her until she used a safe word, which was a leap for me and perhaps you can approach it from that angle
The Brat Tamer...changing brats attitudes one smack at a time
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 884
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 03, 2006 - 05:53 am: |
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awesome suggestions! I knew I could count on you guys for great responses - thanks so much!
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Mhw3rd
New member
Username: Mhw3rd
Post Number: 10
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, October 05, 2006 - 05:10 pm: |
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I may be able to offer some advice, but first I need to know why you want to be spanked?
To be submissive?
For sexual excitement?
For motivation? To do something, or not to do
For punishment, feeling guilty?
You have no idea?
Missing some structure in you life?
Some other reason?
Do you want to be spanked, or do you need to be spanked? |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2778
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 05, 2006 - 10:02 pm: |
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Wow, Mhw.....I am not even sure how I would answer all these questions, there are so may gray areas and situations that are not so clear. For example, my need to be spanked is all a part of why I want to be spanked. I am not sure how Pink will respond, but my answer would probably be yes to all of the above.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 894
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 06, 2006 - 10:52 am: |
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Wow is right....I certainly did not expect an inquiry! Fanny is right - too many grey areas. But since you asked, I will answer.
1.be submissive? no
2.sexual excitement? sometimes
3.motivation? yes
4.punishment? yes
5.no idea? no
6.missing structure? absolutely no
7.other reasons? don't really know
8.want vs. need? yes
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 191
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Friday, October 06, 2006 - 03:59 pm: |
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Boy can we get complicated.I think Pink as in another thread it,s all in communication.Tell him what you,ve told us.Show him the thread.Hell talk enough about it and eventually he,ll understand.We guys are slow but we get there eventually with enough prodding. |
Subbie
Spanko
Username: Subbie
Post Number: 178
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 07, 2006 - 04:36 am: |
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Pink, sorry for not being able to answer this sooner, but work got in the way this week, I also like a " longer spanking" and don't like it when he stops sooner than I am ready for him to do so.
I finally told me I just wanted it, but I picked my time to tell him, got in my confort zone, cuddled up toghether in bed and have our pillow talk, just seems to be the right place for me to talk to him.
Hope it works out for you, and let us know how it went...
my name says it all
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Steelman
New member
Username: Steelman
Post Number: 1
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 07, 2006 - 08:08 am: |
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Try withholding something you know he likes. I only suggest this because I have the opposite problem. I can't get my wife interested in bondage/spanking unless I get her really worked up and make her beg for it.
Ladies, how do I get her more interested? What made you ladies interested? |
Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 254
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 07, 2006 - 11:10 am: |
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steelman, I really have to disagree with your suggestion. Sex isn't supposed to be used as a weapon or tool of extortion. It tampers with the trust dynamic, which, especially in a Ds relationship is the lifeblood.
Response to removed post deleted. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1154
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 07, 2006 - 02:06 pm: |
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Mhw, why yes, I am "real good with math" and I have the degree to prove it. You need to start playing by the rules here. Being disrespectful or confrontational and starting arguments is the fastest way to get yourself banned from this board. As it is, I removed your rude and argumentative post which this was an answer to.
Sorry, Pink, for letting this get so off-topic, I'll clean it up later. I'll delete, edit, or move the offending posts. Done!
Now can we get back to the topic? |
Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 258
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 07, 2006 - 02:15 pm: |
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random tangent: You're degree's in math, Bethie? That's so awesome :D~! I love seeing women in the maths and sciences!  ...back on topic I guess ^^;
I'd maybe see if he'd do as zippo suggested, and spank you once or a few times until you used a safeword. That way, he'd be able to observe your reactions and familiarise himself with what you what you want, what you can take, and maybe what you're looking for.
Not to say he doesn't know as you're in a long term relationship, but.. a little refresher never hurts, right-o?  |
Sissy9
New member
Username: Sissy9
Post Number: 41
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 07, 2006 - 10:20 pm: |
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Dear Admin. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!sincerely,needed for me personaly, |
Nicenick06
Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 142
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 08, 2006 - 01:07 pm: |
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When I want to be spanked longer or my partner – we usually just ask.
She says more. Or I say another 24 please. Or whatever.
I prefer to try and reach a pre-set target number of strokes.
My partner preferred to make it plane when she had enough in erotic spankings.
In dd spankings it was my decision and I announced the number of strokes or spanks in advance.
Anyway love to all
Nick |
Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 199
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 08, 2006 - 01:14 pm: |
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which brings up a question.How much in time is a long spanking? |
Wilson
New member
Username: Wilson
Post Number: 1
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 14, 2006 - 03:45 pm: |
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Pink...
Just come out and tell him that you feel he is stopping short of true punishment !
Let him know that when you feel it is just starting to be intense...HE QUITS...Tell him that is just not right.
But...be ready for a REAL punishing spanking !
Good luck...and let us know... |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2821
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 14, 2006 - 04:50 pm: |
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Buenaventura, How tall is tall? 
Seriously, I would say a long spanking comes just short of when one partner or the other starts to get tired of it. A good spanker learns how to read the signals from the spankee, to know when it is long enough. With me, I don't do corner time, but being kept OTK is the alternative, so it is not unusual to be in this position after the spanking has "stopped". I word it that way, because it has the potential of restarting. Therefore the time between the first spank and the last can be an hour or more.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 208
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, October 14, 2006 - 05:27 pm: |
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Ok gracias Fanny.I,ll get more into it and keep playing it as it happens.I,m already being very careful.Yesterday she mentioned that I should be stricter verbally which left me saying WHAT but I,ll keeping trying for imput from her and you all I think the session last saturday lasted almost 4 hours bur with a lot of time in between and a lot of talking.Appreciate the comments. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2822
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, October 14, 2006 - 08:17 pm: |
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Four hours, I am envious. I don't have four hours to do any one thing. Sounds like an ideal situation you have going there.
Damn!! I would love a 4 hour session.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Nicenick06
Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 148
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 06:16 am: |
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Buenaventura asks how long is a good spanking?
Quick and fast strokes takes less long but hurt as much if not more.
Long spaced out strakes will take a longer time.
There is another question…To rub or not to rub between a number of strokes.
Time, the number of strokes and the interval between each strokes can take time.
My recollections are that some of the ‘best’ - and we can argue by what we mean about that – were both short (5-15 minutes)
and long (sevral hours).
I agree with Wilson.
And I also agree with Fanny.
I also agree that sometime there just isn’t time.
The number of days where I can spend 4 hours are extremely limited – once or twoce a year. But then why not……
I actually liked Pinkcheeks thought-provoking analysis
– here is my answer
1.be submissive? no
2.sexual excitement? Nearly always
3.motivation? yes
4.punishment? yes
5.no idea? yes
6.missing structure? absolutely no
7.other reasons? don't really know
8.want vs. need? yes
Take care or not as the case may be
Nick |
Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 210
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 08:40 am: |
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Fanny my kids are grown,I,m not married,the companys mine and I live in Latin-America(lot more relaxed down here).We couldn,t gwt together on saturday and she wants to switch to tuesday afternoon and I,m not sure if I can because of work(but you know I,ll do my damndest).If I was living with my spankee it would probably be different but it would probably be everyday(I think)so probably shorter. |
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 168
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 09:05 am: |
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This worked for me - my man has a good sense of humor. On the heels of one spanking session I told him he spanked like a girl. Then he wasn't done anymore and I got at least 20 more whacks with his hand... slow, and hard! Ours aren't discipline spankings though, and I don't expect that my suggestion would work for everyone.
To answer the question Buenaventura posed, I would say a "long" spanking is any spanking in which the spankee is wishing it was over!
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
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Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 211
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 10:49 am: |
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Hi Weasel Yeah I think that goes with out saying but I,m thinking more from a spankers perspective.I mean obviously if you say yellow or red you,re getting to the end but pefectionist that I am I,d like to know beforehand to modify the spanking while I,m doing it .Of course the obvious answer is communication I guess.Anyway thanks for the input. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2823
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 11:10 am: |
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Buenaventura,
Sounds like you have the life. 
Yes, I know we all have our complications, but at least you have the ability to enjoy it to it's fullest. Have fun.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 213
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 11:58 am: |
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I do everything one thing at a time Fanny and throw all my energy into what I,m doing at the time.Hate to be doing one thing and thinking of another.As I,m learning so much right now about spanking it,s like starting a new book or moving to a new house it has me completely engrossed.Don,t think I,m young enough to ever get to point where I,m not learning something new about it. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2824
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 12:43 pm: |
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I agree with you there, the saying "you don't know, what you don't know" says it all. Learning and experiencing life is what keeps things fresh and interesting.
I, on the other hand, seem to take on 97 things at a time and try to throw myself completely into all of them all of the time. No wonder I am constantly on overwhem. 
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 918
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, October 15, 2006 - 03:38 pm: |
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back to my original topic......
I should have known that just talking to my hubby would make it right  **You think I would learn after 31 years....lol.
Communication is key......it certainly worked in my situation Thanks for all your advice!
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Nicenick06
Spanko
Username: Nicenick06
Post Number: 160
Registered: 02-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 17, 2006 - 12:19 pm: |
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Perhaps another spanking is in order?
Love
Nick |
Blushingbride
New member
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 10
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 18, 2006 - 02:56 pm: |
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Glad to hear it worked out for you pink. |
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1413
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, October 19, 2006 - 04:40 pm: |
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At the time of a spanking I am wishing it was over and asking myself...why do I want this? Then when it is over, I'm wishing for more.
I'm strange I know.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 270
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, October 19, 2006 - 05:54 pm: |
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shylah. You're not strange. I'm exactly the same way.
...maybe WE'RE strange ^^; |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 924
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Friday, October 20, 2006 - 07:06 am: |
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I don't think its strange at all....I am like that too!
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Naughtylele
New member
Username: Naughtylele
Post Number: 38
Registered: 05-2006
| | Posted on Monday, October 23, 2006 - 09:01 pm: |
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I know I'm coming late into this, but at the end of a spanking, J asks me, "Are you ready to be a good girl now?" and any answer short of an enthusiastic, "YES...yes, I promise!" automatically gets more spanking. If I don't feel like the spanking was enough, then I might say, "Uh-huh" (which doesn't count as a real response) or "I guess so." (which doesn't sound convincing).
Does spanking help tame Bridezilla tantrums? You bet it does!
Lele
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