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Prissietl
New member
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 24
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 12:13 pm: | 
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what is the dif. in being in a d/d relationship, being a d/ and a sub? i have seen all these things on here.
silly questions i know
Once a princess always a princess
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 818
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 12:38 pm: |
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Hi Priss,
*I found this definition for you.....
Domestic discipline (DD) is the practice of interspousal discipline with an emphasis on spanking as a punishment. Practitioners argue that domestic discipline is distinct from both domestic abuse, and activities such as erotic spanking and domination and submission.
Advocates argue that, when implemented ideally, DD is the loving, consistent use of discipline as a positive way to enhance communication, deepen intimacy and reinforce relationship commitment. The discipline would normally include physical punishment but centres around rules of behaviour laid down by one party and nominally agreed to by the other.
As a relationship style, it is often seen as a stylised form of 'traditional' relationship intended to help the woman overcome negative behaviours that harm herself, her relationship or others. In creating loving limits to her behaviour and firm consequences for harmful activities, it aims to improve the relationship over time and demonstrates a loving connection and physical correction from a caring partner.
As for a sub........
In human sexual behavior, a submissive is one who enjoys having any of a variety of BDSM practices performed upon them by a "Dominant"; or one who holds a submissive position within a relationship based upon dominance and submission (Ds or D/s). This enjoyment can spring from a simple desire for submission or an enjoyment of the interplay of wills involved in such a scenario. A submissive is also referred to as a 'sub', where the dominant in a D/s relationship is the 'Dom.'
The main difference between a submissive and a bottom is that the submissive ostensibly does not give instructions, although s/he does set limits on what the Dominant can do.
There are also indications that submissives substantially outnumber Dominants[citation needed], in both males and females. Professional Dominants provide stimulatory services (which may or may not include sex) for those unable to find a compatible partner for this activity.
In many BDSM communities, there is a distinction between a submissive and a slave. In this context, a slave's goal is surrender and obedience. In contrast, a submissive tends to expect some gratification in return for his or her submission.
** I am sure that there are subs here that could explain their relationship and/or those who practice domestic discipline. Hope this helps 
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Renea
New member
Username: Renea
Post Number: 6
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 01:24 pm: |
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Awesome Pinkheecks. Cleared up alot for me too! |
Buenaventura
Spanko
Username: Buenaventura
Post Number: 156
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 02:09 pm: |
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Wonderful explanation Pink,had most of it in my mind but you clarafied a lot.Re: indications that there are more subs.than doms.great news for our side but are hard to find and in my last relationship she didn,t kbow she was til she was. |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 819
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 02:46 pm: |
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 ...Thank you Renea and Buenaventura !
I am sure that others can add to the definitions, but I thought these explained DD and sub quite well.
I, personally, am not a true submissive - I fit into the catagory of "an enjoyment of the interplay of wills involved in such a scenario." Isn't that a great explanation? I do enjoy making my hubby feel like a HOH, although I can be strong-willed and independent. But there are time when I just LOVE for the control to be all him.
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1126
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 03:03 pm: |
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These are good definitions but I wanted to add something now that we've got somewhere to start.
I think the confusion about these terms sometimes comes from the fact that many of us are practicing a combination of these two definitions. Dan and I, for example, don't really practice domestic discipline as it's commonly defined. But at the same time, we do practice some of the aspects of a DD relationship, especially the idea about creating loving limits.
Also, some people who practice DD also practice erotic spankings, which matches part of the definition of D/s.
I know it can get confusing having all these terms bouncing around, but the basic definitions help understand where to begin. I'm afraid you just can't pin some of us down!  |
Atomicpuppy
Spanko
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 116
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 04:05 pm: |
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From what I've read and researched lately it seems that many,if not all,of these catagories overlap.
Like Bethie said you have the basic definition and then it's up to you.With the human race constantly pushing back the boundries of life it's only a matter of time before everything merges.
If you were to ask everyone what catagory they belonged to and why many of us would have different answers.It's how we see things from our own point of view.There is no wrong answer.
Hi Pink the free encyclopedia is great for info isn't it?I've got a lot of info for others using this site.Good reseach. |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2664
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 05:03 pm: |
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Bethie, you can't pin some of us down?!?!? Isn't that what the handcuffs are for? 
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 820
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 05:11 pm: |
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Puppy...Its only the second time I used it, but you're right, it has a wealth of information. I was glad to find it and provide a "basic definition" in which others can add.
Bethie....loved what you added! Its so true - those of us practicing alternative lifestyles have overlaps - makes it much for fun doesn't it?
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 213
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 07:33 pm: |
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Oh fanny, that's great. 
Pink, I really like the way you distinguish a "slave" and a "submissive" |
Prissietl
New member
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 25
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 08:56 pm: |
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Thanks ya'll. You always answer my questions. Your all a big help! I forsure do not want the d/d thing. (im a major princess brat, i would never be able to sit down!) I better get all my info stright when i break this to hubby. Don't want him researching the wrong thing. :-)
Once a princess always a princess
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Cpchevi
New member
Username: Cpchevi
Post Number: 8
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 12:29 am: |
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Priss
what do you want?
Chevi |
Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 821
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 08:09 am: |
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thanks Rose But I can't take the credit for the differentiation between sub and slave. I obtained the info from free encyclopedia on the net....not bad ha?
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Prissietl
New member
Username: Prissietl
Post Number: 26
Registered: 07-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 09:44 am: |
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Well Chevi, i don't really know.lol
I know i want the thrill and excitement that comes with being totally dominated, and having no control. I want to be spanked enough to be out of my comfort zone.......... but i don't think i want any man telling me what to do in day to day life. i'm a very bossy head strong girlie girl that wants what i want when i want, the way i want. lol
I had a past boyfriend who told me i was a spoiled little brat that needed a good spanking, and without missing a beat, rolled me over and did just that.
I LOVED IT! (I sure acted a lot better around him and pretty much "minded" him,......but i was young, and that was just the way our relationship was.)
My hubby and i have never been that way, i run my mouth, i pretty much do exactly what i want.
I KNOW....I KNOW......If I don't know what i want how can i ever get it.
Once a princess always a princess
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Pinkcheeks
Advanced Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 825
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 09:51 am: |
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Maybe you should just tell hubby exactly what you said here! *excluding the part about the boyfriend though*
well.....maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to leave that part in! LOL~~
I know what you mean Priss - I think you can have it both ways - it just takes lots and lots of open communication with your S/O
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2666
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 01:47 pm: |
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Priss, why not have a heart to heart chat with your husband and ask him for his assistance helping you get your behavior under control. Maybe hint at the fact that "someone" has mentioned in the past that you needed a good spanking and asks if he agrees.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Ma_vie_en_rose
Spanko
Username: Ma_vie_en_rose
Post Number: 220
Registered: 01-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 01:52 pm: |
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Well then good job copying and pasting it, Pink ^_~.
Priss, you could always seek out tutorials from spanking blogs, the sort of subtle "Domming for dummies" books. I know some online stores I've seen sell books like the big book of topping or bottoming. For subtlety's sake.
That said, pink's suggestion of talking to him is actually probably better anyway as it's more specific to you and your husband. It'll take a bit perhaps but your relationship will develop a good rhythm in time as long as you both communicate |
Frankeegirl
New member
Username: Frankeegirl
Post Number: 16
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 06:23 pm: |
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Priss, I think u and i have a little in common there. besides i'm not married ( and have no desire to be) it's hard to figure out what exactly i want out of domestic discipline. very difficult to put into words (as a lot of u already know)
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2674
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 06:35 pm: |
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This can be a troublesome issue for many of us. It seems easier to know what you DON'T want, than what you do want.
My husband and I found it helpful to write separate lists of what we were hoping for in our relationship, and then compared. The things that showed up on both lists got top priority. Nothing is stagnant though, things change as warranted.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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