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Spankedteacher
New member
Username: Spankedteacher
Post Number: 18
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 06, 2006 - 04:20 pm: | 
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I finally acknowledged my spanko tendencies about a year to two years ago, and I've never had a partner to spank me/let me spank him (I'm a switch). I have been until lately satisfied with self-spanking. I had a close guy friend who was one that I was close enough recently to trust with delicate subjects. one night on IM we talked fetishes. I told him mine and he said his was light domination. end of discussion until later when he offered to spank me if I wanted it.
My only reservation: he's married. After hashing out my concerns, and me still not thinking he was completely serious, I was like, "Whatever, fine." I was pretty depressed at the time and my answer was a little more flippant than I would have usually liked to be about this topic. Part of me thought that it would be nice to have someone I trust--a friend--perform my first actual adult spanking. I was still leery though of the fact that his wife was out of town (she's a friend of mine, too) and none of our other friends knew he was planning to come to my place to do it.
About a week before he intended to spank me (and I was still on the fence about letting him) some friends and I spent the night at their (his and his wife's) house. I got stuck sleeping alone in the basement. I woke up in the middle of the night to find him staring at me and stroking my hair. Before he went back upstairs, he lightly tried to fondle my breast.
Needless to say, I freaked and called everything (including our friendship) off. I also told his wife about the episode in the basement, and his coming on to me online. She told me that this isn't the first time he's done this to a friend of theirs, and she's not mad at me, but I was scared sh**-less.
I confided in another friend and she yelled at me for even thinking about allowing a friend to do that for me. She demanded that I get a stranger or someone not associated with our group of friends to do that if that's the kind of thing I want. This is the same friend that when I told her about my tendencies she wasn't that surprised and had assured me that it wasn't that strange. I tried to tell her that my concern was that I wanted someone I could trust to respect me and my limits to do it. She held her position.
Here's my point in all this rambling: I was worried enough about finding the right person to spank me, and now I may not ever tell anyone else or even be comfortable talking about my kink again because of all this mess.
Is it better to have a trusted friend or aquaintence spank you? Or is there some way to meet someone and arrange it? This latter option makes me anxious and I've been betrayed by someone I thought I could trust. Remember that I don't have a significant other and haven't for a long time.
Any suggestions?  |
Amarie
New member
Username: Amarie
Post Number: 27
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 06, 2006 - 05:44 pm: |
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I don't know how much knowledge I have on this subject, but I would definitely say NO to the stranger part. I know you're not going to go running off with someone you don't know, but I've always told my friends you need to know someone online for at least 6 months before you meet them.
A friend would be nice, but that can't always happen. I'd say try spanking personals (but still, know the person before you meet them), but I tried them once a couple years back and it was miserable. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1113
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 06, 2006 - 06:55 pm: |
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Before I read your story I would have said having a friend spank you would be a good idea. I really think this guy wasn't much of a friend.
Yes you have to be careful who you tell.
Meeting a stranger scares the snot out of me. It just seems dangerous. You have to have a plan a back up and have someone you trust know ALL the details BEFORE you meet anyone. Have your friend call you during the meeting and have a code word anything so that if you get into trouble or are uncomfortable you have a way out.
There isn't an easy way to meet people like minded like us. There are foums like this one and chat rooms.
It can be done I met my husband on line in a spanking chat room.
Please be careful in whatever you choose to do!! |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 1114
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 06, 2006 - 08:15 pm: |
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Spankedteacher, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. How awful for you!
As for what to do now, have you tried to find a like-minded group in your area? If you'd like some help, I can do a little research and PM you.
I have more to say but I have to run right now, I'll be back later! |
Spankedteacher
New member
Username: Spankedteacher
Post Number: 19
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Thursday, September 07, 2006 - 03:27 pm: |
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I would love to find someone in my own area, but for right now, I am going to stick to self-spanking as I am moving home to live with my folks and my opportunities for spankings are going to be much fewer for a while. In the meantime, I am going to continue to post here and to write my spanking fics (which I'll also post here). I've been working on "A War of the Heart" and it's really heating up!
Thank you so much Tammynx and Amarie too for your support. |
Tammynx
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 1120
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, September 07, 2006 - 03:50 pm: |
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I look forward to reading your stories!!
Don't give up.... there is someone out there for you!!! |
Ladygator2904
Spanko
Username: Ladygator2904
Post Number: 265
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Friday, September 08, 2006 - 05:33 pm: |
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for me, I bonded with the males before I mentioned my spanking desires. It has worked for me through two marriages and a lover <g>! Your female friend is right, you will find many men willing to accommodate your desires. Sorry about your awkward experience. Someday, your prince will come!
A woman`s heart may be filled with an ocean of secrets but mine have all been released and I have a sore bottom to prove it!
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Atomicpuppy
Spanko
Username: Atomicpuppy
Post Number: 113
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 03:25 pm: |
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Hi Spankedteacher,from what you have wriiten I would say neither is right for you,at this moment in time.Give yourself time to adjust to this awkward situation and those involved.
I've been with my wife for nearly 8 years and yet it's only been 2 that she has spanked me.
I was doing it before then too(by myself).
So don't get yourself down as anything can happen.If you want to talk then there are plenty here that would like to.
Remember Positive things happen to positive people.
I know this is sometimes difficult as life can drag you down,but we must try and not let it(though it still does).
There is,however,somebody out there for everyone |
Cpchevi
New member
Username: Cpchevi
Post Number: 9
Registered: 08-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 - 12:46 am: |
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All of my female friends know about my spanking fetish and I have spanked a lot of them. Some for fun like birthday spankings and some for discipline for their first time.
NEVER have a stranger spank you because there is just as much mental energy in spanking as there is physical.
You have to be able to trust that person to:
Know you boundaries
Respect your boundaries.
Know you and understand you emotions in this spanking weather it be for sexual or corrective reasons or another reason
Always make sure that the other person knows all about what you think of spanking and that you know all about their spanking history it is important for both parties.
I would never spank any one who I didn’t know everything about and I wouldn’t expect any one to let me spank them with out knowing all about me as a Top.
I had a friend that I had gone to a party with and we were playing Adult Truth or dare and she drew the card "Have every one in the room spank you"
Well we all did it and she kept mocking me.
This continued after the Party and one day I was over at her apt. And I challenged her to let me spank her since she thought that I "couldn't do it right."
She complied and I spanked her hard and long. A few minutes after the spanking she asked me if I could give her some rules to help her with her day-to-day Life. I did and that was how our friendship was for a while before I had to move away.
My Point is that it is imperative that any one who spanks you has your complete trust.
I hope I helped PM me if you have any questions.
Chevi |
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