| Author |
Message |
    
Janey
New member
Username: Janey
Post Number: 2
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 11:39 pm: | 
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It's not really a story-- more of a reflection from the other day:
Have you ever...
waited for a spanking?
Breathless. Butterflies. Nerves. Wet. Needing and knowing and yearning.
Your call initiates my obsessive compulsive freak out-- my words tumbling over each other to explain and think and think and think. A cycling loop of endlessness. I wish I would stop. I would I could shut up. I wish I was normal. I wish you weren't seeing this part of me - this pent up pensive part of me. I wish I was calm and secure not stressed out and nervous and agonizing about writing my dissertation proposal and that e-mail I sent you and all those times I've disclosed my needs to you. I wish I would stop but I keep it up-- outloud- talking more faster - words tripping over words to explain myself.
"Enough." You silence me quietly, gently, firmly. "Enough."
I stop. I take a breath. I'm in wonder. You keep calling. You keep staying here. I'm not chasing you away.
"I know what you need."
I shrink inside myself, "Yes."
Your voice sounds amused, "You've suddenly gone quiet."
My voice, lighter, quivering. "Yes."
I have nothing to say. I'm nervous. I need this release. I need this discipline. I need this spanking and yet - I'll do ANYTHING to avoid it.
A second call from you 2 hours later. "I'll be by soon. Be ready."
My response, "Yes Sir."
There really is no other response, is there?
I want to pour it all out and tell you that I actually need much more than this. An afternoon of spanking isn't a complex beautiful intimate DD relationship built on trust and honesty. But I do not. At this point, I'm just waiting for what I need. We can quibble about what those other things are later. Maybe it will be from you- maybe not.
For now- my lungs hurt from my shallow clenched breaths I keep forgetting to release.
I need this. I am waiting for my spanking. |
Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 64
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 01:35 am: |
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Beautiful and truthful, I love it. You do a wonderful job of putting your emotions and thoughts into words. Thank you! |
Sandy
New member
Username: Sandy
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 05:03 pm: |
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Oooo, I know all about dissertation woes. Spankings DO work wonders for academic stress!
Good luck with all of that. |
Brooke_ray
New member
Username: Brooke_ray
Post Number: 5
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, May 15, 2005 - 08:43 am: |
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Nice story, Janey...You captured all of those contrasting emotions perfectly...
There are colors and feelings and emotional terrain that we occupy that are ours and ours alone...
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