Post Number: 1
|Posted on Tuesday, March 03, 2009 - 12:02 am: ||
Hey, I'm new to this site, and this is my first story attempt. Let me know what you think!
Judy jotted down the last few lines of the note, barely containing the shake of her body as it wracked with sobs
"I’m so sorry. I only hope you’ll be able to find someone normal one day. I’m sorry I’m not. I’m sorry I’m not enough for you. I’m so…sorry. "
The tears began to flow uncontrollably down her cheeks, a few splattering on the page. She felt so weak. Jacob was the light in her life; she loved him more than anything. And yet as much as she loved him, she hadn’t been able to get her strange fantasies out of her mind.
Ever since she was a little girl, she’d been fascinated, obsessed, with one thing. She looked up the word in every library. And as she grew older, when she was lying in bed at night, her dreams were filled with the sounds of a firm hand slapping her wayward derrier.
Not once did these secret longings leave her lips. She had never voiced her desires to any of her lovers, not that she’d had many. Judy had always been bad when it came to talking to men. On the rare occasion that one gave her a light slap in passing, she branded the memory into her mind, to keep and relive on the nights where the longing dominated her thoughts.
She was a strikingly beautiful woman, with both Asian and European genes, and a firm curvaceous figure, if a bit on the slender side. Her skin had a golden glow, and her wide brown eyes epitomized innocence. Many men approached her, but she was never very interested in them and she was always painfully awkward. Sometimes she would imagine meeting a man who shared her…interests. She knew they existed, she’d become engrossed in the online world of spankos when she was just a teen. But on the few occasions she’d suspected she’d met a man with her same fantasy, it ended in disappointment.
She’d vaguely fantasized about using one of the paid services which she often saw advertised on her favorite story sites, but they never quite felt right, even in her mind. What her heart longed for, was the feeling of being over the knee of the man she loved, feeling his palm smack down in answer to her transgressions. She wanted to be spanked until her bottom throbbed and her tears flew freely. She wanted to feel his arms hold her. She wanted to feel safe. She wanted to feel, cherished. She wanted to stop wanting things that seemed so unnatural to modern society.
She’d met Jacob by chance, at a rest stop on the highway. They’d been on the same bus, and for reasons she couldn’t remember or understand, she’d approached him, and even given him her number at the end of the ride. He was the first man she’d ever met who she could truly talk to, truly be herself with, and with him the words flew out easily. Except, of course, when it came to the one thing she longed for above all others. Jacob was visiting his brother in America at the time, but they continued their relationship and although she did pull away a bit when all they had connecting them was phones, Jacob pursued her relentlessly, never letting her fully pull away. He didn’t mind her awkwardness, her shyness. He wanted to know her inside and out, and she found herself letting him in and falling in love with him. Falling harder than she ever thought she could.
A few years after they met, he asked for her hand. She said yes immediately, feeling only a moment’s doubt. She didn’t need spanking in her life, she decided, not if she had Jacob.
And yet, over their first year of marriage, the longing didn’t subsided. She’d tried countless times to tell him. She’d imagine the conversation in her mind, but whenever the right moment came, she found herself speechless.
Through there sexual explorations, Jacob had discovered that she liked being slapped on the ass during sex. He’d done it on a whim, and was surprised at the intensity of her reaction. He gave her a slap now and then, coupled with a warning look that made her stomach flip, but this only heightened her desires, making their lack of fulfillment all the more unbearable.
When they began working long hours to save up for a house, and she was away from him, the longing made her bitter, it even made her regret marrying him at times. He’d given her confidence she’d never dreamed she’d have, and yet she couldn’t overcome her own shame.
And so, while he was away on an overnight business trip, she decided to tell him, the only way she could manage, in a letter. She was sure he’d want to leave her, so she wrote the letter as a confession as well as a farwell. She placed it on the table by the door, and then drove off into the night, away from the oncoming rejection, away from the one man she needed acceptance from. Away from love and into the painful solitude she had once been so akin to.
Jacob’s car pulled up the house late that evening. He’d driven as fast as he could, his mind flooded with visions of his beautiful wife writhing underneath him. He longed to grab a fistful of her hair and pull her in for deep kiss. He wanted to run his rough hands all over her silky sweat glistened body. Jacob grunted, adjusting his throbbing manhood as he hurried inside. The house was dark, and he knew it was empty. Turning on the light, he stared down at the note by the door. He picked it up and began reading it. His fists tightened and his jaw clenched. Exhaustion forgotten, he stormed out into the frigid night.