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Username: Ladykayra

Post Number: 20
Registered: 03-2008

Posted on Thursday, August 14, 2008 - 05:51 pm:   Edit Post

I was told to place this in here, for those new like my HOH and I, this might help you get into a DD relationship or into spankings over all. I wanted to share this cause this seems to be helping us and hope it goes on in the long run. We still have a long way to go, any others idea's please let me know if yuo have something we might have missed.



Domestic Discipline Contract

Effective Date: End Date:


HOH – Head of Household. In this home this is the husband.
Spouse – The one that follows the HOH.

General Rules:

1. The HOH is the leader of the home, and therefore, determines when correction is to be given.
2. Although, fairness of punishment may be discussed, the final determination of the HOH will be followed.
3. Any bickering after the discussion, will be seen as a breaking of the rules, and will be cause for extra punishment.
4. Tasks will be assigned from time to time, and they are to be completed.
5. One of the basis points of DD is for the HOH to guide the spouse to be something he is proud of and to act in a manner that makes him happy.

Specific Rules:

1. Dinner time is family time. We sit down together, and get up together. This may be deviated from with approval of the HOH.
2. Attitudes need to be held in check. This is not at this time a Master/slave relationship; however, disrespect will not be tolerated.
3. It is the spouse’s role to make sure the bed is made by the time the HOH returns home. If the spouse is still in bed, the bed is to be made within 10 minutes of getting up.
4. The will be certain characteristics to play, maintenance spankings, and punishments that will be adhered to, or else the play or maintenance spankings will be turned into punishments. If a punishment is already in session, it will automatically become more severe. A list of these specific things are
a. The HOH will be called Sir.
b. Gratitude will be shown for play and/or spankings of all kind. Forgetting to do so will result in punishment. Gratitude at the conclusion of the activity will be shown by kneeling by or in front of the HOH and thanking him.
c. At no time will the spouse be allowed to cover up.
d. Squirming is to be kept to a reasonable level.
5. When in yahoo the spouse will make sure that the HOH knows she is on. This is to be done in stealth settings.
6. The picking up of the implements and / or toys will be the responsibility of the spouse.

Play Time

This is to be a fun time in either eroticism or sadomasochism. During this time the spouse may be allowed to pick out implements that she may want to be used. However, the HOH will not be completely restricted to these if there is or are other implements he wants to use. This is intended to be a fun time, therefore, some of the rules applying to maintenance or real punishments may not be enforced. This does not mean that the spouse should push the limit and disrespect or forget to show gratitude. During the session the safe word of “red” will be used, as well as, the indicative “orange” may be used in order to be able to have an extension of the fun. This event can occur at any time the HOH sees fit. The spouse may also show herself made available to indicate the desire to play.


These spankings, and associated corner time, are scheduled or semi-scheduled events. The intentions of these events are to focus the spouse. Maintenance spankings differ from punishment spankings not only in that they are pre-scheduled, they also differ in the fact that they are not intended on being as severe as punishment. The event can serve as an opportunity to correct behavior that may have gone un-noticed, as well as, being a chance to place some specific area that the spouse needs to potentially focus on before it turns into a real problem. Any of these things mentioned may be discussed; however, this is not to turn into a extensive bickering session. The safe word “red” during this time will only be used when the occurrences have approached unbearable level.


Because punishment is to correct an issue or infraction that has occurred, punishment is to be considered the most severe step of DD. Punishments will apply when the spouse has been warned about the behavior, and has done nothing to correct it. Any specific rule listed here is to be considered as that warning; therefore, no further notice will be given. As said before, punishment is a correction of something that happened or did not happen. Once she has been informed that she will be punished, a IM or email will be given to the spouse as a notice of pending punishment. This warning will be for anything other than listed rules. this has be carried out within 48 hours of being informed. Besides listed rules, a IM or email will be given to the spouse as a notice of pending punishment. The only time this will be deviated from, is for medical reasons, in which case the punishment will commence at the earliest possibility. Although, punishment generally will include some sort of spanking, there may be other components to the punishment as part or all of the punishment. The safe word “red” is only to be used here in a case of physical conditions that could bring illness.


Exact implements will be discussed and documented as soon as this contract is agreed on.

Recording of Events

The spouse is to keep track of play, maintenance and punishment sessions. This is to be a dated record that for now is only viewable and shared with the HOH. In the future, this may change and be shared with those that may be able to learn something from seeing it. In general the recording report will include the following items.

1. Type of activity
a. Play

i. Many of the questions below will not apply. Therefore, only the list below will apply.

1. Date
2. Feelings during play.
3. What was used during play.
4. Condition of body.
5. Time of activity.
b. Maintenance

i. In this case, any special instructions that were given as to what the spouse is to work on. This is to be discussed in a separate paragraph, or as part of a what- has-been-learned section.

c. Punishment
i. In this case, the spouse is to specify why she was being punishment.

2. Date
3. What did the spouse do what you did to earn your punishment?
4. Does the spouse think the punishment was deserved? If not, why?
5. How did the spouse feel during the event?
6. Did the spouse cry?
7. If the spouse was spanked, what was used, and what kind of condition is your bottom in? Pictures and video maybe used to document this as well.
8. Did all components of the punishment get completed as instructed?
9. Was the punishment effective, and was it appropriate for the offense?
10. Which part of the punishment does the spouse think will have / has had the greatest effect?
11. Was what the spouse did worth the punishment she received? Will she do it again if the punishment is harsher next time?
12. How long did it take you to complete your punishment?
13. Is there anything the spouse would have changed about her punishment? If so, what? (Be specific)
14. If placed in the corner, how long? What were you thinking, did it heighten or make the spanking worse? What position where you in? Nose to the corner, hands to your side, over your head, legs apart or together ECT. Where you sent back to the corner after the punishment and if so how long? Were you made to sit on your spanked bottom, stand, what were you thinking? If corner time was used, did you get placed in the corner, spanked, corner, and then spanked again?
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New member
Username: Needsredbottom

Post Number: 1
Registered: 02-2010
Posted on Sunday, February 28, 2010 - 03:09 am:   Edit Post

This is a master/slave relationship whether you want to admit it or not. A true DD relationship is equal, with both partners being subjected to discipline with love to change behaviors that are not good for the individual--carelessness, recklessness, that sort of thing.

My goodness, making the bed as part of your contract. It sounds like your HOH is just looking for any excuse to beat you and dominate you.

Believe me, I was in a relationshiop for 19 years of being dominated and it is not a good thing .

As a woman you are just as strong, just as intellgent and capable of knowing what is good for your partner as he is for you. For it to work properly, he should be subject to discipline as well.

Who in the hell says the man is always right or superior to a woman? Grow up.

You should actually read the guide for the DD lifestyle--the Spencer Plan. While it was written in 1936 and written with the focus on women, it does address the fact that the man should be disciplined as well, and provides guidelines for such. Even then it did not focus on such trivial things as making the bed.

And this punishment log--please, it is just another way to control you. If you are not careful, it will be more than your bottom getting spanked. You are likely to end up being slapped or punched.

Rethink this before it is too late for you.
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Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 3709
Registered: 05-2005

Posted on Monday, March 01, 2010 - 01:54 am:   Edit Post

I need to step in here and make a couple comments.

First, every relationship is different and no one set of rules work for any couple. I am so sorry about your abusive relationship, Needsredbottom, as that should happen to NO ONE.

However, not every couple are into a switching roles situation; and certainly anyone "playing" HOH is not in danger of being abused.

We all need to take care of who we interact with, and if there are any warning signs, the relationship HAS to stop.

My main point is, that it is difficult to accurately read the mood a person is posting in and to whom they may be answering a question of. If memory serves me right....I believe the question of what is in such a contract was asked by another member.

We really do try to be very tolerant of what others write here and not make judgements based on a post. All long as both parties are truly consenting to whatever the relationship is, we stay open minded.

Thanks for your concern with Ladykayra, but I don't think she is in a dangerous situation.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Username: Rimfire

Post Number: 22
Registered: 11-2009

Posted on Thursday, March 11, 2010 - 09:26 pm:   Edit Post

Intellect tends to Strengthen the arguments of the well educated, however thru experience ive found that the strength of a man or women depend on the person-ive met both smart,sexy,strong,aggresive,weak,submissive people on both sides.
sex is fun-who you grow old with is alot diffrent
Spanking is very erotic,it can hurt but in moderation can be fun..

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