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Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here
Post Number: 100
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 04:15 pm: | 
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I saw something that Gypsygirl wrote in another thread about it being normal to cry when you're upset or sad. Why do people look at a man crying and think its weird? Why do people say to little boys that they should'nt cry because boys dont cry? why dont they cry? men have feelings, they have emtions too. Why is it not so well accepted that men show their feelings I'm sure that it does us as much good as it does for you ladies to have a cry now and again and it would surely lower the stress level of all of our lives. I hope you understand what I am trying to convey here. I dont want to see men on street corners or in bars having a good cry and sniffing into their paper hankies. But its a human thing to cry and I believe that some men are human too.
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
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Chrissiebrat
New member
Username: Chrissiebrat
Post Number: 13
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 04:34 pm: |
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I think in our time nobody should tell a little boy that boys don't cry. I thought that these ideas belong to times gone by. Why shouldn't little boys cry? As you said, crying is human and hopefully some (or better most) men are human, too. Scientists proved that crying is not only a relief of one's soul (or mind), but that tears take harmful substances out of ones body. So crying really does help, that's no illusion, no fairytale. And shouldn't men get that relief as well?
And by the way isn't it very nice to see that men at times are as weak as we are. |
Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 88
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 04:43 pm: |
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It is nice to know that men are the same as us in that respect but I don't really like the word 'weak'. I don't consider crying a weakness. 'Emotional' perhaps? I know what you were trying to say though, so no big deal. |
Chrissiebrat
New member
Username: Chrissiebrat
Post Number: 14
Registered: 03-2006
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 06:36 pm: |
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You are right, Gypsy, I should have put weak in quotation marks.
And perhaps nowadays it's not even a question of gender, if people dare to cry or not. I think that many of today's "strong women" also feel that they should not cry. I have a friend who really has a good reason for crying these days and I tell her time and again that she should let go and cry. But someone told her - pretty long ago - that a "strong person" doesn't cry and she internalized that and until today she is not able to let the tears flow. (By the way she is absolutely vanilla, so a spanking wouldn't be the right measure to bring her to tears.)
Perhaps the real problem about crying is the image you got of yourself and what you think that others are expecting of you. |
Fireman_chris
Junior Spanko
Username: Fireman_chris
Post Number: 75
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, April 24, 2006 - 07:07 pm: |
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I'm not ashamed to admit that I cry. I've seen my father cry too, and if and when I have a son of my own, he'll know its OK for men to cry too.
I don't think I cry as easily as some. I know, for example, that my wife cries much more readily than I do (and I'm not talking about spanking here). Its not that I fight it or anything, its just that it takes a certain stimulus to bring it on.
I cried the night I had to take the mother of a good friend from HS to the hospital, doing CPR on her the entire way (she didn't make it), and I've cried at funerals for people I barely knew. We had an former FD and PD member (he was on both at different times) pass away suddenly awhile back, and there were lots of guys (and gals) in uniform with tears in their eyes at his funeral.
I don't think its a weakness at all. In fact, I'm more of the opinion that it shows more strength TO cry than it does to try to hide it.
As you slide down the banisters of life
may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Old Irish Proverb
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Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 105
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 01:42 am: |
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When you're talking about crying at the loss of someone then crying is very healthy. As in so many other things, I think that society has a lot to answer for in this question. Who on earth decided that it wasn't OK for men to cry? I suppose it could be a throwback to the cavemen days when women were supposed to look for the strongest member of the clan as fit providers but I think we really should have outgrown this way of thinking by now. My husband DOES cry but he tries his best to hide it, at least he did, but I won't let him now. I don't make a big thing of it, if I think he's upset, I'll just cuddle him, but I don't want him to repress his feelings just because I am around. Doesn't mean to say that I want him to go round sobbing into a hankie all day long and at the drop of a hat, but the body/soul tells you to cry for a reason, it's un-natural to try and overcome that, we don't do it with laughter and I'd much rather people tried to control their anger than their tears. |
Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here
Post Number: 142
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 03:59 am: |
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Why could'nt I put it like that.  . I have had a bad time over the last eighteen months and I even woke up crying sometimes. I was just happy that my wife was not there to see it. I would not like to upset her about me being unhappy. I hope that my problems will be soted out to the best soon and I try to laugh off some of the hassle, but its not easy to do.
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
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Gypsygirl
Junior Spanko
Username: Gypsygirl
Post Number: 111
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 04:32 am: |
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I'm sorry you're going through a bad patch but you shouldn't try to hide your reactions to your situation from your wife, providing that she is aware of what is happening to you, of course. She probably would be upset if she saw you crying, but not because you might suddenly have turned into a 'wimp' more because she would know that something has deeply affected you, so she would be upset for you, not by you. Give her a cuddle, take a deep breath, and if the tears come, don't hold them back, she how quickly she turns from being cuddled to being the cuddler. I bet you will be surprised by how well she reacts to it. It's very hard for us women (who generally yearn to give comfort to our loved ones) not to be allowed to do that. She'll probably feel privilleged that you let her do that for you. |
Me_home_here
Junior Spanko
Username: Me_home_here
Post Number: 145
Registered: 04-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 04:48 am: |
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She does know about my problem and if she was'nt with me, I don't know how I would cope. we cuddle a lot anyway and while she's with me, I dont feel sad or stressed. Its usually when you're alone and you try to think about a way of getting past your problems , that sometimes its a bit like a wave that overcomes you. Then once the tears have tarried, you feel better anyway, though I do feel silly sometimes. My wife has enough problems to deal with without me telling her about it and things are sort of looking up a bit now, so perhaps I'll be back to my normal cheeky self soon
Its like work. the harder its done the better it feels
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