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Itchy
Spanko
Username: Itchy
Post Number: 923
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 05:37 pm: | 
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All hair removal products have tricked us wit easy, painless removal- The epilady,scissors,razors, nair, and now ...the wax. My night began as any other normal weekday night,come home fix dinner played with the kids.I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: maybe i should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet.So i headed for the site of my demise... the bathroom.It was one of those cold wax kits,no melting a clump of hot wax you just rub the strips together in your hand and when they get warm you peel them apart, press it to your leg (or wherever else)and hair comes right of.No muss no fuss, how hard can it be? i mean im no girly girl but i am mechinically inclined enough that i can figure it out. YA THINK!!!* So i pull one of the thin strips out.its 2 strips facing each other stuck together.Instead of rubbing them together i get out the hair dryer,and heat it to 1000 degrees, cold wax my rear end,(oh, how this phrase haunts me) i lay the strip across my thigh.Hold the skin around it tight and pull.Ok so it was,nt the best feeling, but it was,nt to bad.I can do this. Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am she ra fighter of all wayward body hair and queen of smooth skin extraordinair,with my next wax strip i move north.After checking on the kids i sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure ,i apply the wax strip across the right side of bikini line,covering the right half of my vag*** and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (yes, it was a long strip). I inhale deeply and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!
Im blind!!!! blinded from pain!!!!!!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
vision returning i notice i managed to pull of only half of the strip s&%t!!! Another deep breath and RRRIIIPPP!!!.Everything is swirly and spotted.Do i hear crashing drums??? Ok back to normal. I want to see my trophy- a wax covered strip with my hairy pelt,that has caused me so much pain sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There,s no hair on it! Where is the hair? WHERE IS THE WAX???. Slowly i ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet,i see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.I touch. I am touching wax.S&%T!!!! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.Then i make the next BIG!!!! mistake...... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet.I know i need to do something so i put my foot down. DAMN!!!!! I hear slamming of the cell door. Vagina? sealed shut ...Butt? sealed shut. I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself *please dont get the urge to poop* My head may pop off. Hot water! hot water melts wax!! i,ll run the hottest water i can stand in the bathtub, get in , immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and i can gantly wipe it off- right??? WRONG!!!!! I get in the tub. The water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment.I sit.
Now the thing worse than having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.In scalding hot water.Which by the way doesnt melt cold wax.So, now im stuck to the bottom of the tub! God bless the man that convinced me i should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she,s waxed before and has some secret to getting me undone. it,s a very good conversation starter. "So my butt and hoo ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesnt have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me.She wants to know excatly where the wax is located on the bottom.Are we talking cheeks or hole or what? She,s laughing out loud by now..... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests i call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!! Right!! i should be the joke of someone elses night While we go thruogh various solutions i resort to scraping the wax of with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies,covered in hot wax,glued shut,stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky hot wax off!!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and i slip into glazed donut land.My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches toward the saving grace..... the lotion they give you to remove excess wax.What do i really have to lose at this point.I rub some on and "OH MY GOD"!!!!!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens outta my friend but i really dont care.IT WORKS!! It works!! Iget a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.I successfuly remove the remainder of the wax ,and then notice to my grief and depair......... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE !!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!!!! So i shaved it off. Heck im numb at this point.
Next week im going to try hair colour.
"ya gotta love the woman who shared this lol"
"Evaluation has replaced torture as the primary means of social control"
Foccoult
ohhh how boring
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1334
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 08:01 pm: |
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OMG Itchy, Im going to kill you! You made me laugh so hard I almost pee'd my pants and I had an asthma attack and couldnt breathe! I laughed so hard I almost died...and I hold you to blame! *gasp, wheeze*
Good job...thanks for the stress relief. Now I remember why I never wax.  
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Itchy
Spanko
Username: Itchy
Post Number: 945
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 10:40 pm: |
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lol glad u enjoyed it
"Evaluation has replaced torture as the primary means of social control"
Foccoult
ohhh how boring
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Tammynx
Spanko
Username: Tammynx
Post Number: 306
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 12:10 pm: |
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I'm sorry that happened to you....but OMG I laughed so hard!!! Note to self....don't use cold wax EVER!!! |
Pinkcheeks
Junior Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 117
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 12:40 pm: |
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 ooohhhh wowww....toooo funny!!!!!! *and I usually don't laugh out loud!!
"Thought I WAS being a good girl...really I did!"
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Shylah
Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 668
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 01:16 pm: |
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Note to self:
NEVER wax
got it
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Itchy
Spanko
Username: Itchy
Post Number: 958
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 02:24 pm: |
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oh no tammy that wasnt me lol silly i mite b stupid i aint lol
"Evaluation has replaced torture as the primary means of social control"
Foccoult
ohhh how boring
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 331
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 12:17 pm: |
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Heyyyy....the lady this actually happened to is a friend.
A good enough friend for my hubby to have spanked her. Wolfie...this is why I brought her the microwave wax kit, in Vermont.
I LOVE this story.  |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1349
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, February 17, 2006 - 11:09 pm: |
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I know Pagan, but you have to admit its the funniest thing you've ever read! 
I believe she still hasnt got up the nerve to try waxing again.
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Ziggy
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ziggy
Post Number: 2536
Registered: 08-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 07:47 am: |
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that was so funny Itchy, also feel sorry for your problem, I use wax for my eyebrows and the rest is the old fashion razor. much safer for sure.
when caught run faster then him !!
I am a TA junkie !!
Hubbie is due back home in march.................pout stomp !!!
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Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 438
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 09:26 pm: |
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Too funny.... sorry but I had to laugh. I used to wax and after awhiile the pain lessons, or you get used to it, I don't really know, but know with my work I shave and man, do I hate shaving... such a pain in the a**! Men have it so easy.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Bottombandit
New member
Username: Bottombandit
Post Number: 40
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 06:38 am: |
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For what its worth Laser Hair Reduction is a very effective method. Expensive, but its awesome, my wife loves it, and I do to. |
Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 347
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 07:50 am: |
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That's interesting.
I did laser hair removal under my arms. Painful, expensive...and completely ineffective. The sessions were good for a couple of months, but five years later, it's as though I had nothing done. |
Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 302
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 09:08 am: |
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Pagan,
I have laser hair removal now for 8 years I go abot 2 times a year for a "tune up" and I never have to worry about a lot of hair. I do a bazilian, under arms and legs never really grow back but I will add that I have been waxing for years before I did the laser and I had very little hair I just don't want to shave any more expensive yes but for someone like me it works. Also I had my laser in a physicians office which if I understand thye have a stronger laser because then the places that only do laser not MD's
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Bottombandit
New member
Username: Bottombandit
Post Number: 41
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 12:18 pm: |
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It takes about 6 or seven treatments 4-6 weeks apart to get major reduction then there are one or twice a year tune ups. Also depending on skin color, and what laser is used, there are different results. With a late model laser, and used by a a trained PA there is very good results unless its gray hair. Our hair has growth periods, and dormant periods we have to catch it during the growth cycle. It is not painless, but the new lasers are MUCH better in that reguard. I have been "zapped" and have seen my wife done in every location possible. There are different settings on the good machines and it can be adjusted to your tolerence also. To be very graphic, you just can't beat the look of a under arm or, pure bare bottom or bikini area like the laser does. |
Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 348
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 03:52 pm: |
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I had mine done in a doc's office. She told me three sessions, and maybe one a year if I had stubborn hair.
Now, to be fair, I did this around six years ago, so technology might be better now.
But it HURT (think Lamaze breathing hurt), frozen peas or not. I can't imagine doing it 'down there'. I'll stick to waxing, thanks. I can do it myself in the privacy of my home, and be as meticulous as I like.
Then you get left with this fried stubble, and it takes a couple of weeks to fall out. Then...agreed. Nice smooth underarms. First time since puberty I didn't have a dark shadow.
I liked that. Enough to do the three sessions.
But then it just all grew back. And I wasn't about to do CONSTANT sessions.
Glad it works for some, but I'm not a fan. |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1371
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 07:05 pm: |
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I just had my first ever "complete" down there shave...very odd looking as well as feeling! But I did enjoy the softness of my naked skin against his. 
Unfortunately, now I itch like mad! Constant application of baby powder has helped, but the wait while the hair grows back will be torturous I'm sure...which is exactly what he wanted, the rat!
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 2029
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, March 12, 2006 - 09:49 am: |
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Wolfie, I did the same thing before R and I went on a vacation without kids. The itching was so bad that I went back to shaving on a regular basis, so I am completely "nude" I have become used to it by now and it does have it's benfits by leaving the "area" much more sensitive and free to enjoy stimualation.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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Reader_girl
Junior Spanko
Username: Reader_girl
Post Number: 86
Registered: 07-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, March 12, 2006 - 01:27 pm: |
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I think it helps to *gently* exfoliate the area when you're bathing. It guards against ingrown hairs, as well.
Glad you're back, too, Wolfie. But soory you had to leave your honey.
Reader Girl
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Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1382
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Sunday, March 12, 2006 - 04:33 pm: |
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Thank you Reader girl, I am too. *said with a grimace as I scratch like a dog with fleas* 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney
Post Number: 326
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 06:43 pm: |
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As I said had laser hair removal but before that I did waxing for years. I think that over that time there was less and less hair each month so the laser worked really great. The last time I had pubic hair was my wedding day, Bill shaved me on our 2nd day married. Man that says something regarding trust even than. I found when I was shaving that if I put lotion or cream on the area the hair didn't itch as much inbetween shaves. But like fanny I love the way it feels to be bare. So much more sensative and responsive to touch.
Laser was expensive but I think well worth it.
Love can't always be seen or heard but will always be felt with your heart
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Pagan
Spanko
Username: Pagan
Post Number: 363
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 08:00 pm: |
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I don't know why, but it doesn't itch when hair grows back post-waxing. Maybe because the ends aren't as sharp?  |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1413
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 09:15 pm: |
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I wish I knew! *scratch, scratch*
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Everyday Life 