Post Number: 2237
|Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 02:43 pm: ||
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I've just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'll knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you're not coming shopping with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Just look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'Your room looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until you get home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand..'
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
Every time I say the word "exercise" I wash my mouth out with chocolate
Post Number: 2019
|Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 04:16 pm: ||
Yup, I heard a few of those growing up.
Post Number: 932
|Posted on Monday, April 20, 2009 - 09:57 pm: ||
Post Number: 198
|Posted on Friday, April 24, 2009 - 06:10 am: ||
oh yes, #4 for sure...subbie
my name says it all
Post Number: 16
|Posted on Saturday, May 23, 2009 - 08:22 pm: ||
My mother was the mistress of all of them!
Although, I do think, if they're going to send us on a guilt trip, the least they could do is let us pack for ourselves!
Post Number: 2715
|Posted on Sunday, May 24, 2009 - 12:22 pm: ||
I think I heard ALL of them when I was growing up!!