| Author |
Message |
    
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1734
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 26, 2007 - 05:11 pm: | 
|
I would like to offer a challenge to everyone to see who can come up with the best blonde joke.
Actually...my friend wants me to see how many I can come up with so help me!
I'll start it out!
A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.
Officer: May i see your licence?
Lady: what does it look like?
Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.
The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.
The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
|
Pinkcheeks
Supreme Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks
Post Number: 1104
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 07:51 am: |
|
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said "For best results, put on two coats."
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
|
Weasel
Spanko
Username: Weasel
Post Number: 227
Registered: 06-2006
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 12:03 pm: |
|
What makes this noise?
Vroom - screech - vroom - screech - vroom - screech
...
A blonde trying to drive through a blinking red light.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
|
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1737
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 05:59 pm: |
|
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
|
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1738
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 06:02 pm: |
|
Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?
The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
|
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1739
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 06:17 pm: |
|
A bleached blonde and a natural blonde were on top of the Empire State Building.
How do you tell them apart?
The bleached blonde would never throw bread to the helicopters.
______________________________________________
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ear!
____________________________________________
How does a blond turn on the light after sex?
She opens the car door.
____________________________________________
Q: Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer?
A: She forgot the recipe.
_______________________________________________
Q: Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car?
A: Took him an hour to get his family out w/ a coat hanger.
________________________________________________
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue!
___________________________________________
Why can't the blonde put in a light bulb?
Shey kept breaking them with the hammer.
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
"You can change those things?!"
____________________________________________
Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and asks, "Where?"
_________________________________________
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
|
Blushingbride
Junior Spanko
Username: Blushingbride
Post Number: 74
Registered: 10-2006
| | Posted on Saturday, March 31, 2007 - 02:34 am: |
|
How do you know when a blonde's been on your computer?
White out on the screen.
|
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1745
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Saturday, March 31, 2007 - 08:13 am: |
|
Ok...I got a complaint about this thread so no more please
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
|
Badgirl
Spanko
Username: Badgirl
Post Number: 173
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 06:47 pm: |
|
Really? I loved it, and I'm blonde! People need to relax and laugh a little....
I mean if you can't laugh at yourself you have no business making fun of other people. And I refuse to give that up, it's one of my favorite hobbies... |
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3138
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 10:49 pm: |
|
I'm mostly blonde too, but I don't take any offense. My friends and I sometimes change the "person" to a teenager as none of us are any where near the age.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
|
Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 1756
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 01:52 pm: |
|
Let's just leave this alone now so no person will be hurt or offended.
It wasn't my intention for anyone to get upset.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
|
Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny
Post Number: 3141
Registered: 05-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 03:34 pm: |
|
I think the vast majority of us realize that Shylah. In the world we live in, there is too much emphasis on being politically correct to the point of almost total censorship.
I am one who does not like to see offense, but c'mon people, pick your fights and stop seeing everything as a major issue.
Queen of Innocence
"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
|
Everyday Life 