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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 340
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 08:12 am: | 
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Something Bethie posted in the thread about a Member's section (about posting parties here, etc.), prompted me to tell a story about trusting someone else's opinion, or invitation to attend a private party.
I was at an afternoon candle party, in the private home of a "friend" that invited us all to a fetish party that night. It was required "fetish dress," and we were told it would be a good party, based on the person having it.
My "friend" implied she knew the man that invited everyone. In fact, she stated that she worked with him.
Five of us dressed for the party, and drove over in two cars. Upon finding the address, we discovered no other cars in the driveway. (FLAG!)
We then figured since most parties don't get off the ground until late, we weren't that concerned (although "I" was, as it was already 11 p.m.).
Upon entering the home, we found two men, and the kitchen counter full of munches, as well as soft drinks, in large bottles. Several bottles of liqueur were there too.
We were ushered to the back room, which really was the attached garage, permanently converted into a combination studio and sitting room.
When I say "studio"...I mean to say that tripods, and lighting umbrellas were set up, around beds! ( Yes, BEDS! No kidding! Insert BIGGER FLAG here!)
We all sat down, and being the forward person that I am, I asked where the "other" guests were, or if in fact we were the only ones invited. (The two men obviously didn't like my tone.  )
I was of course given the story about folks arriving late. We were offered drinks, and while some accepted them, I declined and suggested to the women to get their own drinks. When I went to the kitchen with them, I found the bottles were all opened already, although full. I asked them NOT to drink.
When I quietly expressed my own concerns to them, they began to get scared  ...as they should!
A few ladies poured drinks, but did not sip. The two men then turned their conversation to scenes with two women, and had anyone done them. They asked if we enjoyed them. (How many more FLAGS can there be?  )
This was enough for me! I directly asked them their motive for this "party." Once again they danced. Some of the ladies actually felt I was being too abrupt with my very direct questions, while they still tried to be social.
At this time, a friend of ours came to the "party" (term used lightly), and he was the boyfriend of one of the ladies. She invited him...thank goodness. When he came in, I took him aside to tell him my assessment, and he completely agreed with me. He mentioned that he was sorry he left his cell phone in the car, but said he felt comfort in knowing I had my gun on me. (I did not have it with me at that time.) We decided that it would be in our best interest to leave immediately.
There was strength in numbers, and with him there (a rather big guy), I announced that it was best that we leave, since no "party" was happening. The women agreed with me, although some were concerned about making a bad appearance by our abrupt departure. LIKE I CARED...at that point!
We left and went to the "friend's" home to talk out what happened. Most of us were shaking with disbelief by the entire experience, and by the thought of what "could" have happened.
Turns out our "friend" did NOT know the man that invited us to the party, in spite of implying she did. She said she worked with him, but it turns out she didn't "know" him at all. She also THEN informed us that she too was concerned when the man said NOT to bring our boyfriend/husbands. (She never mentioned THIS to any of us.) She said she was horrified by what had happened, but also realized that it was her judgement that prompted all of us going. We mistakenly trusted "her" judgement. It was the LAST time I would ever go to a party on someone's else's word. And I have to admit that I didn't see this woman as much of a "friend" at this point either.
I don't go to parties were I don't know the host personally. As you can see by this story, it's probably a good rule to live by.
K |
Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie
Post Number: 1017
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 10:17 am: |
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OMG K, how terrifying! Im so glad you werent hurt at this supposed party, and its a geat lesson for us all. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. 
If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.
Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.
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Wyatt
Advanced Spanko
Username: Wyatt
Post Number: 337
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 01:37 pm: |
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HOLY CRAP! That is a good lesson, although a harsh one, and I'm glad you got outta there!
MEEP!..MEEP!.. NNYYYEEOOOWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.........
* My best Roadrunner - typed *
And SAFELY!!
The "Master of Menace"
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Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 341
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 03:23 pm: |
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I don't like to admit to poor judgement, but I think it helps people reevaluate situations a bit more clearly, when confronted with those flags.
A sub acquaintance of mine has regularly shared his horror story with groups and new folks, and mine pales in comparison to his.
To give the short version, and if I recall the general details...his situation happened probably over 30 years ago, well before the convenience of the Internet. He met someone through a personal kink ad. He arranged to drive to the woman's home, which was over five hours away. When he got there, she had him park his car in her garage. He followed the orders, and when getting out of his car, she closed the garage door, and told him to get on his knees. She restrained him, and blindfolded him. Now to him...at this time...he figured he hit the mother load. His fantasy about to be fulfilled.
What he hadn't anticipated was there was now another person there. They put him into another car and actually drove him, blindfolded and cuffed, to another location. He was then stripped....and.....and...
After his agreed upon "weekend" of fun/terror was completed, he was returned to his car. He never saw any of the people involved, and he couldn't tell you how many people there were.
He is a very wise man "these days," and is brave to admit the horrors of his eagerness, and lack of knowledge. It's good to hear the bad stories sometimes, as it makes us aware that not everyone is good.
But I also want to caution anyone new...to realize that these few stores are the exception, not the rule.
It's just best to ALWAYS be careful, regardless of the situation. Know who you are meeting, and have others around.
K |
Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades
Post Number: 188
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 07:06 pm: |
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wow, thank you for the tips... some scaring things being discussed.
I'm sorry, but not as sorry as I'm gonna be.
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 611
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, January 12, 2006 - 09:36 pm: |
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K, thanks for posting this. I'm always afraid I sound like a Nervous Nelly because I harp about safety so much, but I've been around long enough to have heard of these things happening.
There are many good people in this lifestyle, but there are also those who take advantage of others, just like in any other lifestyle. Even though they say they're one of us, it doesn't mean they really are. Just because someone speaks the right talk and says they play the way you do, it doesn't mean it's true. They take advantage of people who are so desperate to live out their fantasies, that they jump without looking first. Or even worse, they assume because we are kinky, we must be easy and ready for anything sexual. They also know that the ones they can take best advantage of are the ones who won't be quick to report them out of shame, fear that their secrets will be out, or because they blame themselves.
Yeah, this is all scary talk, but it's something we all need to understand. There are plenty of good, well-meaning, and fun spankos out there and I'm happy to know so many of them. It's the bad ones you have to understand and know are out there and protect yourself from.
Stay safe, ask questions, and don't let anyone ever make you feel bad for asking. If they're experienced in this lifestyle, they'll be happy you asked because it shows you're responsible. The good ones have as much to lose as you do.
And for anyone who thought I was being silly when I made that comment about not wanting to post announcements from every Tom, Dick, and Harry who was holding a spanking party in their garage, now you know I'm not as paranoid as I seem. Besides, Dan's the one who came up with that line about the garage.  |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 344
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 06:37 am: |
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Good one...DAN!
K
PS I have suggested guidelines for "Safe Calls" when meeting someone that was drafted by our local Dom Guild a few years ago. I'm going to search it out, and post it, if you think it might help too. It's some specific things to do when meeting someone, whether it's the first time or not, and how to be informed and safe. |
Wyatt
Advanced Spanko
Username: Wyatt
Post Number: 343
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 10:09 am: |
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Let us not forget, there WAS a victim here.....
Those SCUMBAGS did violate that innocent garage,
by turning it into a studio / sitting room!
* From a motorheads point of view. *
Sorry, just kidding. Ftop is a very brave lady,
just the idea of being at a candle party gives me shivers!
* OK, I'm finished now *
The "Master of Menace"
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Bethie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Bethie
Post Number: 616
Registered: 04-2005
| | Posted on Friday, January 13, 2006 - 12:49 pm: |
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Ftop, I'd really appreciate it if you'd post that guideline here. It's something I've been meaning to address for some time. Thank you!
Wyatt, you're so right...on both counts! |
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