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Message |
    
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 467
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 - 06:08 pm: | 
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I am mostly a submissive but I do Top from time to time. I have a male friend that is wanting/needing to be spanked but he seems to be overly needy in his quest for it. For the time being, there hasn't been an opportunity for the r/l he is wanting so he is settling for having cyber spankings. Only thing is, he is so needy he is monopolizing my time online. If he sees me in a chat or if I leave my MSN showing I'm online, he is there and if I don't respond to him, he gets moody and sulks. I've been avoiding him just for that reason. I have told him that unless he backs off some, the r/l will not happen. He is a good friend and I don't want to lose the friendship but how do I make him understand that I want to be able to be online without him jumping on my time. I have punished him online for it but that just seems to "feed the fire". So for now I am avoiding him online but I feel a bit guilty for it. I totally understand his need for it due to circumstances I won't go into. So my question is....how do I make him understand that I will give him some online time but not ALL of it without hurting his feelings or jeopardizing the friendship. It's a really sticky situation. I know I'm supposed to be the dominant with him and I do take control when he does catch me online. I have told him outright that I want to be able to chat with others without having to give it up to take care of him and have told him to stop being selfish and demanding...seems to fall on deaf ears. I have even told him to go into the chats and find other Dommes to punish him. I'm not sure I'm making sense here...help!
Once I thought I was wrong but I was mistaken
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Blistering_blonde
New member
Username: Blistering_blonde
Post Number: 8
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 - 08:56 pm: |
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Tell him ok i can spare a few minutes ..but in 20 mins i must give all my attention to ..... or cut him off politely .. well it was great chatting .. but i got to do some online surfing and your MSNing me is slowing me down .. i will chat later ..... or ..introduce him to other Dommes.... its NOT easy for MEN to find Dommes in the chatrooms ... unlike females ...who attract the needy men ..who are WILLING to Dom just to get some ... woman if in need ...just have to say they have been BAD...and the Doms line up. |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 210
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 01, 2005 - 08:54 am: |
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Shylah, you might want to direct your question to FemDoms/Tops, that have dealt with the issue.
In my own experiences, I don't feel that many submissive men even realizing they are doing such things to women. Some may be so desperate for a Lady Tops attention, that "any" attention will do...even the negative kind.
K |
Rex138
New member
Username: Rex138
Post Number: 7
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 08, 2005 - 01:05 am: |
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Ok, my turn to ask a terminology question.
What does r/l stand for? Real lesson?
Thx!
rex
"Stixn'Stones Luv"
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Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 491
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 08, 2005 - 07:13 am: |
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r/l means real life as opposed to o/l which is on line
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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Rex138
New member
Username: Rex138
Post Number: 8
Registered: 11-2005
| | Posted on Thursday, December 08, 2005 - 08:38 am: |
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Thanks Shylah!
"Stixn'Stones Luv"
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Humblebutt
New member
Username: Humblebutt
Post Number: 6
Registered: 12-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 03:09 pm: |
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Shylah,
You should schedule the times you're available to him in advance, and tell him not to bother you outside of those times. If that doesn't work, you could always block him from connecting with you, either temporarily or permanently.
The other thing you could do would be to spank him in r/l! If you intend to do so anyway, you might as well do it sooner than later. That way, he might be more obedient to your wishes in the future. |
Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan
Post Number: 239
Registered: 09-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 06:41 pm: |
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Scheduling a time of availability is a good idea, if she wants to continue contact.
As for the rest....in my experience, when you "give in" to spank them...they get exactly what they want. This doesn't teach them anything, except that their antics, used to get a spanking....work!
I've learned to cease contact with those that don't seem to understand they are not the center of the universe. They never give up. Unfortunately, you usually end up having to block that type of needy person.
K |
Shylah
Advanced Spanko
Username: Shylah
Post Number: 507
Registered: 10-2005
| | Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 07:22 pm: |
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I had a long talk with him and he's backed off. I told him that maybe he would be happier if he found a full time Domme to take care of his needs. This seems to have worked and I'm off the hook.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
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