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New member
Username: Spankme1964

Post Number: 2
Registered: 01-2010
Posted on Sunday, January 31, 2010 - 03:48 pm:   Edit Post

I was wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to ask someone for a spanking. I mean a person can't normally just come out with the question: Will you give me a spanking? M/F or F/M it doesn't really matter. When it comes to asking for a spanking unless its someone you know or are involved with personally you'll probably get an "are you crazy" look. If anyone has any good ideas please let me know. I'm a 45 year old male that craves an OTK bare bottom hand spanking from a woman. Thanks.
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Username: Boomer

Post Number: 55
Registered: 07-2008
Posted on Sunday, January 31, 2010 - 07:31 pm:   Edit Post

Have you tried online forums for finding others who share your enthusiasm for spanking? Some that come to mind are Spank Finders, ~~Edited by Admin -Remember our rules and don't mention commercial sites here, please!~~. I'm sure there are others you will find doing Internet searches. I agree that's a tough subject to broach, probably more so for a male looking for a female spanking partner or relationship. I introduced my fiance to my interest early in our relationship. We watched some videos and I explained how I longed to find a partner who would understand. Fortunately, she loved me enough to try it and she has gotten quite good at responding to my needs. I actually think that she is beginning to relish the power and control it gives her. I think I am a switch because I would love to give a good spanking to a deserving lady, but I enjoy being on the receiving end as well. Good luck to you.
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Advanced Spanko
Username: Subbie

Post Number: 292
Registered: 05-2006
Posted on Monday, February 01, 2010 - 07:53 am:   Edit Post

Spankme....have to agree with Boomer, it's better to try and meet somone who has the same interest than risk saying something to a non spanko.

As far as it's easier for a female to bring the subject up, I'm not so sure about that, there were some guys I dated that I never felt that comfortable with to bring up the spanking issue, I'm 43 and I've only had two spankers, one during my college years and now my Hubby of eight years. big dry spell there.

I'm not saying you can't find a spanko face to face, but it will take a lot of work, go slow, drop a little hint and wait to see how it is received before doing more....good luck..
my name says it all
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Username: Rimfire

Post Number: 17
Registered: 11-2009

Posted on Friday, February 05, 2010 - 07:29 pm:   Edit Post

i tried to ask for a Spanking once on Craigslist,hehe i got mostly guy responces and girls trying to get someone to sign in to their profile website...why they do this i dunno?
but yeah you cant openly say here i wont work!
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Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 3702
Registered: 05-2005

Posted on Sunday, February 07, 2010 - 05:06 pm:   Edit Post

I suggest you try to find some clubs or groups in your area. It is good to get to know more than one person and it gives you the safety of not meeting someone new one on one.

I'm sure it may be easier for a female than a male to find spankers as in some areas, it seems more socially acceptable for a woman to be spanked. I have actually been in the lifestyle since college and have not been without at least one spanker since that time. I seem to attract them; I guess that suggests that I probably do need an attitude adjustment. Actually, I just like to have fun and people recognize that.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
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New member
Username: Comehere

Post Number: 8
Registered: 11-2006

Posted on Thursday, April 29, 2010 - 11:53 pm:   Edit Post

I don't know if I would ever be interested in being spanked by "just anyone". For me, I think I have to be in some sort of relationship to enjoy a spanking.
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Username: Oftenred

Post Number: 83
Registered: 02-2007
Posted on Saturday, May 01, 2010 - 04:22 pm:   Edit Post

I have always found that I could say something leading, or make a joke about spanking and see what the reaction is....sometimes that tells me if someone is interested or not. If there seems to be I gently go from there
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New member
Username: Houjami

Post Number: 14
Registered: 02-2008
Posted on Monday, May 03, 2010 - 04:03 pm:   Edit Post

If it is anytime near your birthday you might suggest a birthday spanking, see her reaction, and when she sees your reaction after she spanks you it might be more than a once a year occasion.
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New member
Username: Rosycheeks

Post Number: 13
Registered: 05-2010
Posted on Friday, May 21, 2010 - 12:25 pm:   Edit Post

How to broach the subject is always a challenge. As I've said in other posts - I chose to leave liturature in obvious places to put the idea out there but what i didn't tell in those posts was that one night I just came out with it to hubby--presented myself bound and ready to take a good spanking-he obliged! I imagine it could be as scary for a guy to admit to this need but if your partner is willing to put your needs ahead of her discomefort you should be able to come to some arrangement.It comes down to how much you feel you can trust your partner and how much you are wiling to risk-this in itself can be very erotic just finding that courage within yourself to be totally honest with your partner.
You might want to test the waters first with a little suggestive literature placed in the right spots-see what reaction you get.
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Username: Yorkie69

Post Number: 108
Registered: 01-2010
Posted on Friday, May 21, 2010 - 07:31 pm:   Edit Post

In my case, I was in absolute turmoil. I wanted my wife to spank me so much that I could hardly concentrate on anything other than my need. My turmoil was caused by what I thought my wife's reaction would be. Because my wife and I love each other so much and know each other so well she could see that something was really bothering me so she had to ask what was wrong. Well, It took all my courage to tell her what the problem was and she recognised that and said that she would spank me.
So, you never really know what you're partner might say and if the circumstances allow, sometimes the best thing might be to just come straight out and ask.
Nothing says "I love you" like a warm bottom
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New member
Username: Jeannie

Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2010
Posted on Friday, October 29, 2010 - 02:04 am:   Edit Post

I have always just been right out in front with it. I know what I want & need in order to be happy. When I start a new relationship with a guy and I am ready to suggest a spanking, which is usually before we have sex, when I do something wrong, something simple, forget something, wrong time or place for a movie, you get the point, I say oh sorry, my bad so spank me. I watch for his reaction. Sometimes it takes a few minutes and then I see their reaction.

I am in a relationship now, I have turned over complete authority for him to spank me when ever, for whatever reason he deems appropriate. While we have a safe word, if I ever have to use it the relationship will be over. I like turning complete control over, I enjoy that he loves me enough to spank me and not argue with me.

For me, I like not having control, I like when he spanks me for whatever reason, under whatever conditions he deems appropriate.

I know what buttons to push that will result in a spanking, that's my way of asking now. Several times as soon as I have pushed them, I wish I did not and I love the fact that he will not back down, when I deserve a spanking I get one.
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Username: Chuck

Post Number: 30
Registered: 07-2005
Posted on Friday, October 29, 2010 - 09:14 am:   Edit Post

Jeannie, I am glad you are posting

I have only had one woman tell me she liked spanking up front before a relationship had begun. In her case the spanking was more like a message that warmed her up and she would accept no discipline from me spanking or otherwise.

Spanking is a more delicate subject than sex. Ladies can have a few drinks, have a roll in the hay and go home. This is accepted or at least understood behavior. Spanking has all the baggage attached - abuse, violence, police being called, people thinking you are perverse so I am (were) very careful. (Happily married now). After having sex with a new lady a few times and I see she is not a crazy and she knows I am a reasonable person the subject of spanking can come up. I have a good eye for picking women upfront who accept spanking as part of a relationship or at least have had a spanking fantasy. I cultivate the “spanking gene”

I like putting a healthy, wholesome, intelligent woman OTK and giving her a sound, old fashioned spanking in a disciplinary environment. S&M, toys or ropes are not what I like so I end up with a conservative, private “regular” woman who likes to have her bottom discretely reddened and does not particularly want others to know this.

The country is filled with, overworked and under appreciated women who are tired of wimp, irresponsible men. Women and Men are equal in the eyes of God and should be in the eyes of the law. We do not have the same rolls and responsibilities. Women respect men who will stand up to them and make a clear distinction between right and wrong. Some of my best relationships evolved into spanking relationships. We of course talked about desires, limits and such but I can not remember saying “can I spank you?”
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New member
Username: Devon

Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2010
Posted on Friday, October 29, 2010 - 02:23 pm:   Edit Post

completely agree with chuck!! i know i am a woman who is so tired of wimpy men!! i am a strong independent person and giving that control of my "attitude" and body is an incredible turn-on. i have felt back and forth that i am weird, or not. i brought this up to my b/f and i didnt kno how he would take it. thankfully he is also kinky... he gave me a light spanking one night and is now looking for reasons that i am bad, i havent been taken over his knee again yet but my birthday is only a week away.. well see what happens... i totally understand your concerns and fears, but sometimes you just need to put yourself out there i guess...
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Username: Chuck

Post Number: 31
Registered: 07-2005
Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2010 - 09:08 am:   Edit Post

Devon please do not consider yourself weird because you like a good spanking every now and then. There are legions of women who have that feeling. It is the modern world (media/woman’s lib) that has decided consensual spanking is kinky/abusive. It did not used to be that way. Go ahead and tell your BF what you need. I can not imagine a young, sassy, hard working woman going very long without earning a spanking or at least an attitude adjustment spanking.

I can not speak for all men but I have always liked independent, strong women as they are just more fun. I like having intelligent thoughtful discussions and hearing the woman’s point of view. At another time I find it quite exciting to sit that same woman down, give her a good talking to about her behavior or attitude and watch her reaction when told she has earned a spanking. I don’t know if it just her giving up of control, embarrassment or having to put her pride and dignity on the shelf for the duration of the punishment but it is a turn on for me. The part of the spanking where I actually smack her on the butt with my palm though essential to the experience is not the most exciting part for me.

By the way Devon I consider birthday spankings as “sport spanking” or “love spanking”. I believe you want more of a DD relationship. Remember when you are standing before him rubbing your freshly spanked bottom be sure to reward him to reinforce that behavior. Treat him like a rock star at least for an hour be that in the bedroom or by your submission.
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New member
Username: Sally_smart

Post Number: 9
Registered: 02-2014
Posted on Friday, February 07, 2014 - 06:45 pm:   Edit Post

Once a past BF said I need a spanking with a ping pong paddle. It happened. Cant remember how my last hubby and I got into it.
BF now said on the phone one day as we were kind of learning each other by phone and text that he was gonna kick my ass when he finally meets me after I sent him a nasty remark. I said "Good, I like a good kick in the ass now and then". He said, "Then I will spank you, you wont like that!" I said "No? Maybe I will" then when we finally agreed to meet and got on to dating he remembered that conversation as we were cuddling one night on the couch and he said right out of the blue "You need a good lickin" I said "I do?" and it happened.
To make sure I would be ok with it during sex he asked me one night what else he could do to make me cum while he had his hot hard hands roaming all over my legs, back and ass? I wouldnt tell him, just kept saying what ever you like, so he started saying "Tell me!" and spanking my ass to make me tell him while I was on top riding him,,, he figured it out by my reactions as he would land one on me then another and another.
He noticed things tighten up as he lands them on my ass so he knew it was a good thing. He aint so stupid, hahha
Geeze I hope he never reads that!
He lands them pretty hard but not so hard I cant take it and I never know when they are coming either which is part of the turn on. He hits the soft cushy part of my tiny ass and also lands a few on my legs but mostly on my ass. His only complaint is there isnt a lot of meat on my ass so its hard for him to make sure he doesnt smack me on my hips. I dont care, its all good. I like the way he holds his hands there after some of the smacks and they lay a lot of heat on me, that with the fact that my bedroom is a bit cool is a major turn on when the heat of his smacks and cool air mix on my cheeks.
Whats really funny is when we first met and shook hands I felt the hardest hands I have ever felt, my first thought was Wow,,, them have gotta be no fun... They are the best spankers I have ever known. Hard as hell, always hot and they take the abuse a spankers hands would hope to be able to take.
I can take a lot and some guys might find their hands hurt before I really do. Bet BF outlast me every time.
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New member
Username: Medic42017

Post Number: 3
Registered: 01-2016
Posted on Friday, January 08, 2016 - 09:03 pm:   Edit Post

If ne1 knows of a place or club that does this , plz post , only ones I have ever found were in the UK or other places over seas , this not help couples or male members here , ty

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