spanking den

Spanking
Den

Topics Topics Help/Instructions Help Edit Profile Profile Member List Register  
Search Last 1 | 3 | 7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  
Spanking Den * Spanking Discussion Area * April - Dec 2005 * Nov - Dec 2005 Threads * Advice on a Punishment Spanking < Previous Next >

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 29
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 10:12 am:   Edit Post

Here is the situation I am faced with. After many verbal discussions with my hubby on spanking, I sat down & wrote him a real detailed letter about my need & my want to be spanked. Seems I can express myself better in writing then verbally. I think finally he now understands. Just a little while ago he found out that I have lied to him & was very mad. He made a comment before walking out the door for work that I'm going to be getting it good. When I'm not sure, later this afternoon? I know it won't be after work since he is on a Dart League & will just make it home in enough time to shower, eat and walk out the door. Most likely tomorrow morning it will take place.

Here is the dilemma now that I have asked him to give me real punishment spanking for things such as lying, and not pretending to mad punishment spanking, I think I'm about to get one. I am actually now quite scared of this fact. He has never brought me to tears/crying. He is a large man who has great strength & I have reminded him of that. I know that this time, he WILL having me crying & he won't stop even if I beg him too. But this is what I need sometimes but I'm still now scared.

Is this a normal reaction? Or am I overreacting? How should I be feeling? Any and all advice or suggestions would be helpful.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Tmichellebrat
New member
Username: Tmichellebrat

Post Number: 44
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 10:28 am:   Edit Post

Badwife ....I find for myself when I know I am going to be spanked for punishment that I tend to get nervous and there is that anticipation especially when I have to do any kind of waiting for the spanking. The main thing is "trust" ...if you completley trust your partner then there really is no need to worry or be nervous and if you asked to be spanked for things such as lying then be thankful that you have a husband who listens to what you want and need. But I don't think your overreacting ...having a certain amount of nervousness or fear is normal I think because after all a punishment spanking does hurt so there is some reason to be a little nervous. Good luck and let us know what happens.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 31
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 10:47 am:   Edit Post

Like I said I am really nervous about this. He has never brought me to tears & that fact alone is scary. I am worried how I am actually going to be able to take the pain that is coming. Even though I know deep down it is something that I need & deserve. Sometimes in the past when he gets too hard I make it stop. How do I overcome that because I know he isn't going to stop.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 1834
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 12:29 pm:   Edit Post

Nervousness is part of the whole aspect of discipline. That is one of the reasons it works. If you were looking forward to it with excitement, it couldn't well be a lesson learning experience. So go ahead and be nervous, it helps bring the point home to your head, you have misbehaved and admit you need and deserve to pay the price.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 32
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 01:18 pm:   Edit Post

Well I just got a surprise. My husband came home for a few minutes & first told me that he didn't have the time to give it to me this afternoon, but I am getting it tomorrow morning. He then asked me since he has never given me a REAL punishment spanking how does he go about it. Such as what positions should he use, what implements, how many swats etc. So now my questions are should I map out this punishment for him? I already have, but haven't given it to him. What I have in mind is this,

20 hard swats on each side with his hands
10 hard swats on each side with an implement
20 hands
10 implement
20 hands
10 implement
20 hands

Now here is the kicker, he also handed to me a freshly made wooden paddle that he says he is going to use. I was thinking he should use it after the last set with his hands & give me 5 good swats on each side with that.
Now he wants me to ask him during the times he is spanking me with implements to ask for each & every swat. Say something like please spank this bad girl again.

Is this all acceptable or should he just wing it? I am afraid if he wings it, he might go over board. Help please
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Master60
Advanced Spanko
Username: Master60

Post Number: 725
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 01:54 pm:   Edit Post

ok calm down I might be able to help here the changingingfrom hand to implement is very goodthe asking is intresting maybe asking for the 20 in whole then lettting him apply each set should do it I think just remeber to thank him after each set
With a loving smack (#)(#)
Master60
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 9
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 01:57 pm:   Edit Post

If I may add my two cents here, I think you should let him choose how the punishment will go. If you are afraid of him going over board, I am not sure why you would be asking for punishment spankings, if you don't trust him, not to go over board. I don't think that DD actually works if you are the one in control.. Stopping spankings, and so forth. Maybe I misunderstood what you are saying, and if so please correct me. I just don't think it's safe to have someone husband or otherwise spanking you, if there is not that 100% TRUST that he will not go over board or what have you.

Carly
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Humblebutt
New member
Username: Humblebutt

Post Number: 4
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 02:35 pm:   Edit Post

If he's never given you a punishment spanking before, you should have a safeword at least for your first few punishments. You're both adults consensually playing with assault! Even if you're married, what's wrong with a little safety switch? Furthermore, if you have a safeword, he'll be able to punish you with confidence, knowing that if he's doing something too dangerous, you'll let him know. Also just because you have a safeword, doesn't mean you have to use it. It's just nice to have it there for emergency purposes, after all, punishment isn't supposed to be torture. Don't worry, it will still be possible for your husband to spank you to tears if you're capable of crying them!
BTW, you shouldn't be the one who decides how the spanking will be given. Your husband should be in control all the time (with the safeword providing you emergency control). You should get extra strokes for suggesting how your punishment should proceed -- the nerve!
Also, if he's never used a paddle, make sure he knows how to avoid your tailbone before he accidentally breaks it -- aim low!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Humblebutt
New member
Username: Humblebutt

Post Number: 5
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 02:52 pm:   Edit Post

"You should get extra strokes for suggesting how your punishment should proceed -- the nerve!"

Oops, I was wrong, you didn't suggest it. Sorry!
I think you should hand him the implements you have, decide on a safeword, and tell him to figure it out as he goes along. It will be much more scary, painful, and generally authentic not to know when it will be over. Don't be too scared however, many generations of children have been severely punished but lived to tell about it (BTW, I don't condone corporal punishment of children, just consenting adults). You're an adult. It will hurt a lot but you'll live.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Rex138
New member
Username: Rex138

Post Number: 11
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 03:25 pm:   Edit Post

Great advice from Carly and Humblebutt and I agree with both.

I agree with Carly that you should let him control the spanking IF you trust him AND you are looking for an actual "Punishment" spanking.

For me, part of the nervousness or excitement is knowing I'm going to get it but NOT knowing, with what or how long.

Humblebutt, you bring in a great alternative in adding the safe word. This way she (badwife) can test her limits.

I guess that "punishment spanking" and DD has different meaning to different people. I think they start out the same, which is getting spanked as punishment for an infraction of some sort to teach a lesson. But is it really teaching a lesson, if the bottom is mapping out the spanking and in 'control'? Just a thought.

As for me; If my wife deems I need a punishment spanking; I don't have a say as to what she's going to use, how hard or how many times. It is very effective at modifying my bad behaviors.

We have been 'playing' for around 15 years or so and I trust her implicitly (sp?). But my punishment spankings didn't actually happen until recently, when I approached her with it. Prior to that, I used safewords. BUT, I found that no matter how hard I would try, I would safe out, when it got real uncomfortable.

In my punishment spankings, that is not an option.

Here's something you can try (done it myself). Establish a safeword as Humblebutt suggested with the added caveat: Tell your husband to give you 5 to 10 extra past your safeword. If you don't "plan ahead", you'll actually be taken a little past your tolerance zone BUT have a stop coming soon thereafter so you don't have to worrying about things going overboard.

Just my two bits! Good luck, I hope you get it GOOD ;o) and keep us posted!

"Stixn'Stones Luv"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Redhinney
Spanko
Username: Redhinney

Post Number: 117
Registered: 10-2005
Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 06:24 pm:   Edit Post

Ok I have been living in a dd relationship for a very long time and I can tell you W never ask me how he shoukd spank not even the first time. I don't think you are really ready for this. May I suggest that you go to the site call Loving Domestic Discipline. I beleive that on this site there is an articke on how to get a DD relationship started. In fact I beleive there is something about getting the first spanking for nothing not punsihment not pleasure just to set the tone of who is the head of the house. Spanking takes practice just like anything else the more the two of you do it the better you will be at it. The same is true of Dd. The things I got spanked for in the begining are not the same things I get spanked for now- yes some issues seems never to go away but on the most part as our life changes so does the spanking.

Even after 25 years at this I still get nervous before each BG spanking- why because that means I let my S/O down.
If yiu don't trust your husband to spank fairly than in my eyes you are nit ready for your first Bda Girl spanking
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 33
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 07:22 pm:   Edit Post

Great now I'm more confused then ever. It isn't that I don't trust my husband, I do with my life. The fact is he is a large man & very strong & what I guess concerns me is in the heat of the moment, not intentionally by any means, he forgets his own strength. Since this is going to be a first for both of us I figured it would be a good idea to get some insight on it. He has spanked me in the past & I have been the one who has had the control over everything. It has now come time where he takes control of it because I have tired of it. I never thought that I would come to this point, but I have & it just a tad scary to be feeling this way. As of a little bit ago I am still getting it in the am before our appointment we have. I think at this time I will at least give him a bit of guidance, such as the implements to use & let him know at least to alternate between each cheek, Maybe I will just let him decide how many swats I get with each & let him decide whether or not he is going to use the paddle, which he has used ones before. I don't know now exactly what I'm going to do. I need to think about all of your suggestions. The one thing I do know is that I really need him to take control of things & I need this punishment spanking. I'm just very nervous about going to this new level in our lives. I may get the chance in the early am to come back here & read any other comments. If not I will let you all know what happened.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Wolfie
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Wolfie

Post Number: 844
Registered: 04-2005


Posted on Tuesday, December 13, 2005 - 08:36 pm:   Edit Post

I think that everything your feeling is perfectly normal Badwife, its a big step your taking and it also means a lot to you.

Just the fact that you've said "I need him to take control and I need a punishment spanking" shows that you dont want to tell him what to do. Dont choreograph this, just let it happen. Maybe it wont be the perfect spanking in your eyes, but it wont be a fake one either.

Before he starts, explain to him what you hope to accomplish with this discipline, whether or not you need to be brought to tears, if he should use implements, etc. Then tell him why your getting this spanking and turn all control over to him. I think safewords are fine, as long as your not the kind to use it just because your butts on fire or to get out of the punishment.

You have every right to be scared, but have some faith in your hubby...he loves you and wants to make you happy. Dont forget aftercare, its as important as everything else and will cement the bond between you. Lots of cuddling, hugs and kisses and reassurance are in order for the both of you...dont forget that he will be worried about this next step too.

It will be fine sweetie, you'll muddle through in your own way.
wolfie loves Steve more than anything else in the whole world...even more than chocolate and lobster!

Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Kennysspankee
Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee

Post Number: 75
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 01:41 am:   Edit Post

I would think that if you've been playing at spanking, he already knows your tolerance for pain. He's been listening and watching your reactions and can probably read you like a book. All he has to do now is go past your tolerance point for as long as he feels is necessary to get the point across. Afterall it wouldn't be punishment if you can take it.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades

Post Number: 54
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 03:51 am:   Edit Post

wow - you are quite ambitious badwife...
Please sir, I don't need a spanking. I'll be good, I promise!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 35
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:00 am:   Edit Post

Good morning all. I have been lucky enough to come here this morning to read any other suggetions. I first want to thank you all of everything. You have helped me quite a bit on this subject. As of right now which is 6:50am(EST) I'm not sure what, if anything is going to take place later this morning after our Daughter goes to school which is around 8:15am. Again I believe he understands better my needs & wants but I'm still not quite sure. We have been together of 11 years & I have always been the one who has contolled the spanking activity in our house & now need him to be the controller of it. He knows if he wants sex & I'm not in the mood to take control of the situation with no problem. It is now getting him to do the same with spanking. I guess we will see what happens from here.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan

Post Number: 246
Registered: 09-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:08 am:   Edit Post

Seems like the "anticipation" alone is killing you!

My bet is that you're actually a "good" wife, and that'll he'll do just fine. If not this time...then with more communication, you'll be getting what you want...AND deserve.

I hope all goes well this morning, and will look back later for the update.

Don't know if I should wish you well....or what...with this. Happy punishment? Good wishes on your upcoming spanking?

Hope all goes well.

K
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Spankingcouple
New member
Username: Spankingcouple

Post Number: 32
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 10:07 am:   Edit Post

andy is the one that makes ALL the decions about how i will be spanked and for how long. i have no say what so ever in the matter. if i try to argue the spanking will be more intense. i have to agree that you need to have total trust in your partener. i totally trust andy. andy spanks hard and for a long time and i always end up crying like a small child but i know he loves me and i feel so much better after a good spanking.

trish
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 36
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 12:47 pm:   Edit Post

Well nothing happened. We didn't have time like we thought before our appointment & we did have time before he had to go back to work & nothing. I guess I was wrong about him understanding my needs.

Right now I am so pissed off & hurt. I don't know what else I can do or say to him anymore. We have talked about this so many times there isn't anything left to be said on the subject. He won't probably make it home until after our Daughter is home from school & then by time she goes to bed, I'm so tired I go to bed.

I'm done with talking to him about this situation. I'm not going to beg for it. So I am now going to to take it to the next step. I m going to really start looking online to find somebody to give it to me. Maybe I will start going to some of the Groups around here if I can find out where they are. Thanks again for all your support
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 10
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 01:48 pm:   Edit Post

Badwife, Please be extra careful when going outside of your husband. I know that you had concerns about your husband going over board and not knowing his own strength in spanking you, Well I would assume a stranger would know even less about your limits, and you just don't know what kind of psychos are out there!! Please be careful.

There is a site I believe someone already posted a link to it in a above message. Loving DD, Well he put a book out there, maybe you should order it and leave it on his nightstand or some where you know you he will find it. I ordered the book myself, and it's affordable and a great source of information. I think ,or at the very least hope for you that if he reads it he will start to understand your needs, it's really a great site and a great book!!!! Most of what is in his book is posted on the site, I just like having the actual hard copy around for me and my husband, and my husband is more likely to thumb thru the book then scroll thru a website..

Good luck to you in whatever you choose to do!! Please be Careful!

Carly
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan

Post Number: 248
Registered: 09-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 02:31 pm:   Edit Post

Badwife, the organized spanking groups are primarily safe, based on a regular membership, and with some having a tough screening process. The advantage to these groups is that people "know" one another, and there is a certain level of comfort in knowing the regulars. It's a good way to socialize with fellow spankos, as well as meet a spankee/spanker.

There's a group in Cleveland, although it's more private, and parties are usually held in someone's home, from what I recall hearing. I can check into it more, if you'd like.

In Columbus, there's a friendly group called Tamingwood. Here's the addy for their group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Tamingwood/

If your interest if purely discipline, with no sexual involvement, there are plenty of married men that partake of that with married women. I do think there's some safety in marrieds playing with marrieds. I also know a few trustworthy men in your area, if interested. They are both happily married men, with one having a spouse that is active and the other with a vanilla. They are both respected in the community, and both disciplinarians. Oh...and they both are pretty good guys too.

K
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Humblebutt
New member
Username: Humblebutt

Post Number: 13
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 03:38 pm:   Edit Post

Badwife,
I hope you weren't serious when you spoke of going outside your marriage for spankings. If you were serious, I'd think long and hard about the potential consequences before doing so. You've got a kid and she should matter the most in this equation. It would be better to try self spanking instructions (as you mentioned in another thread) before you go outside of your marriage for spankings. At the very least, don't do anything hastily or without adequate thought.
Does your husband know you self spank? Have you ever shown him what you do? Have you ever gotten a good non-punishment spanking from him? Are you absolutely sure he knows just how much you want this as well as how much you were counting on it happening this morning? Is getting punished so important to you that you would jeopardize your marriage (as I can only assume going outside of it would) for a spanking? I don't mean the last question to be judgemental, I just want to pose it to you for your own clarification and thought.
Perhaps you should spank him first. He might get pissed off enough to retaliate with gusto!
Don't give up! It's a short life, but it's also a long life. If you play your hand right your husband will eventually come around to accepting and meeting your needs. Who knows, there may yet come a day when you truly dread his punishment spankings and will do anything you can to try to avoid them!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Tmichellebrat
New member
Username: Tmichellebrat

Post Number: 45
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 07:05 pm:   Edit Post

Badwife...

I can understand where you are coming from but going outside of your marriage is not the wisest idea but that is just my opinion with past experience with it. I can understand your feelings of being hurt and frustrated over it...I have been there and it's not a good feeling at all especially when you have talked over and over about it ...even give out clues...bratting or whatever in order to get him to see what you want or more importantly what you need and what you are asking for.
I would take Carly's suggestion of maybe buying the Loving DD book and let him read it so he can understand more because sometimes I think men who are not Dominant just need to understand where your coming from and why you want this. Or if verbally talking to him is not working, then maybe write him a full detailed letter and then have him read it and then discuss things after he reads the letter...I find for me sometimes writing it down on paper is so much easier and then talking it out after he reads it makes it easier on you and him. Just a few suggestions. And if you decide to go outside of your marriage looking for a Dom ...please, please be careful as the other ladies have said here because it is dangerous and there are some real whackos out there. I hope everything turns out the way you want it....keep us posted.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Kennysspankee
Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee

Post Number: 76
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 08:36 pm:   Edit Post

Badwife, give him a little room. Maybe he has plans you don't know about that require more time than you may have had earlier. Maybe he does understand and is making you wait to increase your apprehension.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Ftopinmichigan
Advanced Spanko
Username: Ftopinmichigan

Post Number: 249
Registered: 09-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 08:51 pm:   Edit Post

QUOTE: "Perhaps you should spank him first. He might get pissed off enough to retaliate with gusto! "

Spanking someone without their consent would make them angry, and yes, perhaps then, they may even retaliate. It is not a healthy thing to do, as to "retaliate" implies revenge and spite. Getting someone "pissed off" is not an effective way to get spanked...it's a good way to get hurt, IMO.

I had several men, that wanted to be spanked, thinking it was appropriate to hit (AKA spank) me, while I was busy speaking with others (one whacked me with a paddle, while I was having my picture taken, and another hit me with a brush, after I had already spanked him, and I was walking away - And FYI, I have nothing to do with either one of them these days). They too thought I would retaliate and spank them...which is exactly what they wanted. Rather than just ask to be spanked, they violently assaulted me...without consent, and they also KNEW I was a spanker, not a spankee. It got me angry, not excited.

Not good advice, as I see it.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Tmichellebrat
New member
Username: Tmichellebrat

Post Number: 47
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Wednesday, December 14, 2005 - 09:42 pm:   Edit Post

I agree with Ftopinmichigan to retaliate in that manner is not a good thing and it will only make the person angry. And I have always believed in the rule of safe, sane, and consentual. In the past I have even tried to top from the bottom, or continuously brat and that only makes it worse too ...where the Dom won't even spank so to me it's not worth all the work and frustration....asking for a spanking works much better IMO. Just my two cents for what it's worth!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades

Post Number: 65
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 01:44 am:   Edit Post

Agreed with Ftop and TMichelle, spanking to incite a response is one way to get hurt. I highly advice against it.
Please sir, I don't need a spanking. I'll be good, I promise!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 37
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 06:34 am:   Edit Post

First thanks for all the concern and advice. It has helped. I just am so very tired of me ALWAYS controling the spankings. Yes I have talked to him in depth as well as written in depth letters. He knows I self spank, has watched me do. Has seen spanking videos which I have made comments too such as see how she/he is spanking her. He/she is starting slowly & then builds up, or see this position, etc. Yes he has watched me self spank & I have shown him things during my self spankings.

This has been going on for 11 years people. I talk to him about it, then leave it alone to see what will happen, usually nothing, wait some time & try again. It isn't like this is NEW to him whatsoever.

I am going to still look for somebody outside to do this. I am hoping to find a Woman who is married or even single. Straight or Bi. I think my husband would be much more agreeable to let a woman spank then a man. It isn't that he doesn't trust me, it is other men in genreal. I believe he thinks that the men will want more then just to spank me, which as we all know is a lot of time the case.

Beleive me I love my husband will all my heart & soul & would never do anything to hurt him. I will be careful in my search & I know it may take time. Maybe I can even find another couple where the man spanks the woman, get to know them of course first & then maybe meet with them to show my huband exactly what I am talking about. A couple who would teach my husband how to spank me. Who knows.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 38
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 08:48 am:   Edit Post

Well I'm home from work today due to the weather conditions here Cleveland, OH. I told my husband last nite how upset I was & just to forget the whole spanking me thing. Didn't tell him I was looking else where. Now this morning before he left work he ordered my to spank myself hard, on & off all day & walked out the door. Now I am completely confused. I give up. Just thought I let you all know this new bit of news.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Carly
New member
Username: Carly

Post Number: 11
Registered: 12-2005
Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 11:55 am:   Edit Post

After reading your last post, I can so understand why you are confused.
What my thoughts are on this,( and not like I know you or your husband but just from what I have read) Maybe you spanking yourself is a turn on to him. Maybe in trying to show him your needs, you turned on a fetish for him. That might be far fetched, but he apparently knows that you need the spankings, if he is ordering you to spank yourself.
maybe your husband is submissive also??

Just my 2 cents!!
Carly
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Kennysspankee
Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee

Post Number: 80
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Thursday, December 15, 2005 - 04:26 pm:   Edit Post

Badwife,is you husband basically a pretty easy going guy, lets you pretty well be yourself and doesn't feel an adult woman should have to be punished for her misdeeds? That you, as an adult should know right from wrong and shouldn't need punishing? If so, therein lies your problem. He doesn't want to get serious about spanking, is happy to go along with you and do it for you, is partially turned on but doesn't crave it and think about it all the time like a true spanko. I'm not saying he's vanilla. (Isn't that some sort of a swear word?) But the basic male part of him is excited by the whole thing, the power, the control over the weaker sex, but just not as much as a true spanko (like us). He may also not relish the idea of actually causing you the pain and seeing you suffering (crying etc.). He would probably do punishment spankings if they were not for real, more of a game situation, yet still go past your tolerance level. He probably wouldn't spank too long after you started crying. Sound like him?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badwife
New member
Username: Badwife

Post Number: 40
Registered: 07-2005


Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 06:38 am:   Edit Post

Yes & no Ihe definitely isn't submissive by any means, Yes, he like control espcially when it comes to sex. If we haven't done it in awhile & I am just not in the mood or being stubborn he will take control of the situation. Don't get me wrong he doesn't force it on me, but he knows what will get me going so he gets me there with the control. He will just go along with it especailly if I push the issue. Then we he thinks I have gotten what I needed it all stops until the next time I bring it up. I'm trying to get that all to change. Maybe I will maybe I won't. I'm going to keep trying with him as well as look else where & see what happens.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Kennysspankee
Spanko
Username: Kennysspankee

Post Number: 81
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 10:14 pm:   Edit Post

Maybe he just doesn't understand how often you would like to be spanked. As for punishments, maybe you should just ask him what he thinks about the whole thing and how he feels about doing it. Maybe he's just not telling you his true feelings on the matter. The Loving Domestic Discipline blog has some very imformative information just came on yesterday titled "Love". Maybe if he read that it would fill in some blanks for him.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Katie_spades
Spanko
Username: Katie_spades

Post Number: 71
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Friday, December 16, 2005 - 11:14 pm:   Edit Post

Agreed with kennysspankee; the LDD Blog is great and is a plethora of information.
Please sir, I don't need a spanking. I'll be good, I promise!

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | User List | Help/Instructions | Program Credits Administration