spanking den

Spanking
Den

Topics Topics Help/Instructions Help Edit Profile Profile Member List Register  
Search Last 1 | 3 | 7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  
Spanking Den * Everyday Life * Jan - June 2007 * A Blonde Joke Challenge!! < Previous Next >

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah

Post Number: 1734
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Monday, March 26, 2007 - 05:11 pm:   Edit Post

I would like to offer a challenge to everyone to see who can come up with the best blonde joke.

Actually...my friend wants me to see how many I can come up with so help me!

I'll start it out!


A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May i see your licence?

Lady: what does it look like?

Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Pinkcheeks
Prime Spanko
Username: Pinkcheeks

Post Number: 1104
Registered: 12-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 07:51 am:   Edit Post

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said "For best results, put on two coats."
"Do I have to be good ALL the time?"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Weasel
Advanced Spanko
Username: Weasel

Post Number: 227
Registered: 06-2006


Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 12:03 pm:   Edit Post

What makes this noise?
Vroom - screech - vroom - screech - vroom - screech
...
A blonde trying to drive through a blinking red light.
Some day you'll spank me... er thank me for this!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah

Post Number: 1737
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 05:59 pm:   Edit Post

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah

Post Number: 1738
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 06:02 pm:   Edit Post

Three blondes are sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is sucking hers, one is biting hers, one is licking hers. Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring, YOU SICK-O!
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah

Post Number: 1739
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Tuesday, March 27, 2007 - 06:17 pm:   Edit Post

A bleached blonde and a natural blonde were on top of the Empire State Building.

How do you tell them apart?

The bleached blonde would never throw bread to the helicopters.

______________________________________________

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

Shine a flashlight in her ear!

____________________________________________

How does a blond turn on the light after sex?

She opens the car door.
____________________________________________

Q: Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer?

A: She forgot the recipe.
_______________________________________________

Q: Did you hear about the blonde man that locked his keys in his car?

A: Took him an hour to get his family out w/ a coat hanger.
________________________________________________

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?

A rebel without a clue!
___________________________________________

Why can't the blonde put in a light bulb?

Shey kept breaking them with the hammer.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

"You can change those things?!"

____________________________________________

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and asks, "Where?"

_________________________________________
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Blushingbride
Spanko
Username: Blushingbride

Post Number: 74
Registered: 10-2006
Posted on Saturday, March 31, 2007 - 02:34 am:   Edit Post

How do you know when a blonde's been on your computer?

White out on the screen.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah

Post Number: 1745
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Saturday, March 31, 2007 - 08:13 am:   Edit Post

Ok...I got a complaint about this thread so no more please
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Badgirl
Advanced Spanko
Username: Badgirl

Post Number: 173
Registered: 11-2005
Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 06:47 pm:   Edit Post

Really? I loved it, and I'm blonde! People need to relax and laugh a little....

I mean if you can't laugh at yourself you have no business making fun of other people. And I refuse to give that up, it's one of my favorite hobbies...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 3138
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 - 10:49 pm:   Edit Post

I'm mostly blonde too, but I don't take any offense. My friends and I sometimes change the "person" to a teenager as none of us are any where near the age.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shylah
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Shylah

Post Number: 1756
Registered: 10-2005


Posted on Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 01:52 pm:   Edit Post

Let's just leave this alone now so no person will be hurt or offended.

It wasn't my intention for anyone to get upset.
Take my heart and soul. But please don't step on it, it breaks easily.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Fanny
Moderator/Spanking Aficionado
Username: Fanny

Post Number: 3141
Registered: 05-2005


Posted on Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 03:34 pm:   Edit Post

I think the vast majority of us realize that Shylah. In the world we live in, there is too much emphasis on being politically correct to the point of almost total censorship.

I am one who does not like to see offense, but c'mon people, pick your fights and stop seeing everything as a major issue.
Queen of Innocence

"Well behaved woman rarely make history"

Add Your Message Here
Post:
Bold text Italics Underline Create a hyperlink Insert a clipart image

Username: Posting Information:
This is a private posting area. Only registered users and moderators may post messages here.
Password:
Options: Enable HTML code in message
Action:

Topics | Last Day | Last Week | Tree View | Search | User List | Help/Instructions | Program Credits Administration